


After Hours

by marissalyn14



Series: The After Hours Trilogy [1]
Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Smut, and everything in between, vauseman - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 80,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4111876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marissalyn14/pseuds/marissalyn14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Piper and Polly have just arrived to the University of Smith. She can't wait for all of the new risks and experiences she will encounter, none of them she had thought would involve a familiar raven haired beauty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Art History

"Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out till I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels"

-'Head Over Heels' by Digital Daggers

"Hurry up Pol; we're going to miss it!" Piper said as she speedily walked the winding path of the sidewalk. Polly trailed behind her, trying not to trip in her heels, "It's the first class of the semester. I doubt anyone is going to be in a rush to be lectured for an hour and a half." "I want to make sure we get good seats is all." Piper called behind her as their classroom came into view. For as long as Polly had known Piper, the blonde had always found a way to be equally narcissistic as she was neurotic. "See, we aren't the first ones here." Piper said as she peered through the open door.

A few students had already laid claim to a seat. Piper grabbed Polly's hand, dragging her down the aisle in between desks. She chose the third row to be a good view, plopping down into a desk close to the middle of the room.

Polly huffed audibly, sitting down beside the overly hyped blonde. "Polly, aren't you excited?" Piper asked, searching through her bag for a notebook and pen. "Yeah, I'm really stoked for art history at 9:30am on a Monday." Piper rolled her eyes, "No, we made it Pol! We're adults now, and we made it to fucking Smith!" Polly couldn't help but find her friend's joy contagious, allowing herself to give into it and smile.

"So was that so bad?" Piper asked Polly as she returned her notebook to her bag and stood. "Well compared to a root canal it wasn't so bad." The brunette said as she made her way out of the class room. Piper smiled, "Good, because we have it again on Wednesday." Polly groaned as she turned to look at her best friend, "Want to go for lunch? Our next class isn't until one." Piper nods, her attention no longer on her friend as she takes notice to a girl standing from her seat in the back of the class to leave. Piper continued to watch the girl with long black hair and secretary glasses slip on her bag and head toward them with her head down, looking at the floor. "Pipes?" Polly called out to her when she noticed Piper hadn't followed her outside. Piper turned quickly to her name being called. The girl walked past her quickly, leaving Piper alone in the classroom.

"Everything okay?" Polly asked, coming back into the room. Piper nodded, "Yeah, um I have to go back to the dorm, check on Nicky. She said she's in F112, you want to come?" Polly made a face, "Nah, I'll save you a seat at the café on campus." Piper nodded, Polly had never been too fond of her crazy haired friend Nicky.

Piper met Nicky freshman year of high school, making Polly jealous that Piper now had a new best friend to hang out with. Piper told her that the three of them could be friends, but no matter how many times she tried to get Polly and Nicky into the same room as one another, they never quite clicked like she wanted them to. They were civil, but the minute one was away from the other they would say something about the other. Polly claimed Nicky was too loose, while Nicky said Polly was too uptight. Piper always assumed that she was an equal amount of both.

The beat pulsed through the doorway as Piper approached room F112. Piper knocked three times on the open door before grabbing the crazed haired girl's attention. "Pipes!" Nicole shouted over the music that was blasting through her stereo. She threw her arms around the taller blonde before pulling back, "Sit down." She pushed a pile of clothes off her bed, leaving enough room for a butt cheek or two. Piper plopped down onto the thin mattress, "Want to grab some lunch?" Nicky bopped around the room, dancing as she stuffed rolled up shirts and pants into drawers. "Is Super Bitch going to be there?" Nicky asked as she continued to dance. Piper sighed; wishing her friends could get along, "Yeah she is." "Then nope, I'm good." Nicky said, moving back to grab another armful of clothes. "Nicky, it's our first day."

"Which is why I want to make it a good day, look Pipes, I never thought I'd say it, but it's not me it's her." Piper shook her head as Nicky burst out in laughter. Piper stood, "Okay, well we'll be at the café on campus if you change your mind." Nicky turned to fiddle with her speakers, changing it to a different song, "Not likely Chapman. Let me know when you're ready to really party." Piper leaned in the doorway, "Hey, Polly's fun." Nicky nodded, "Yeah, real fun. I'll catch ya later."

"Oh thank god, I thought you were bringing her." Polly said in relief as she leaned back on her side of the booth. Piper shook her head, "You guys need to be nicer to one another." Polly shrugged, "She's not here." Piper rolled her eyes, smiling, "That's the problem." Polly sipped from her mug, crossing one leg over the other. "I'm going to go get myself a coffee, you want anything?" Piper asked, standing up. Polly shook her head as Piper turned and got into line at the counter. It took her all of two seconds to recognize the raven haired girl in front of her. "Hi Alex, what can I get ya, the usual?" The cashier asked the girl. "Yeah that'll be good Melanie." The girl said in return. Piper's ears perked up to the sound of this mystery Alex's voice, it was deep and husky. Piper became really interested in her shoes as Alex turned to leave the line with her cup. She could feel eyes on her hair before she moved up to the counter, "Hi, can I get a large coffee please?"

"What's up with you?" Polly asked Piper from across the table. Piper was staring off into the corner of the room where Alex had sat down with a paperback, the cover folded back so she couldn't see the title. "Earth to Chapman!" Polly said again to get her attention. Piper came to, staring at Polly, "What?" The brunette smirked, "You got a little drool hanging." Piper rolled her eyes, bringing her coffee up to her lips. "Seriously, who are you trying to undress with your eyes?" Piper quickly looked out the window, "I don't know what you're talking about." Polly nodded, setting her cup onto the scuffed table. "Sure, but if you need CPR, just remember I'm not certified so I'm not obligated to resuscitate your ass." Piper faked a smile, "Comedian I see." Polly shrugged, grinning, "What can I say; it's a real passion of mine." "I'm sure."

Piper continued to look over at Alex, trying not to be too obvious as she tried to hold a conversation with Polly. She noticed Alex rip out a piece of paper from a notebook and scribble something down on it before folding it up and standing with her book and mug, slinging her bag over her shoulder as she moved to take her mug up to the return bin. Piper's eyes widened as she noticed the taller woman drop a piece of paper near her table before continuing on her way out of the café. Piper nearly lunged for it.

"What the fuck Piper?" Polly asked as Piper picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it to read. Tree by F dorm, five minutes. Piper straightened up, "I got to go Polly, see you back at the dorm." She quickly placed her empty cup in the bin before practically running out of the place.

She found Alex leaning up against the tree, reading from her book. Piper gulped, moving closer to meet her. "Hi." She stammered as Alex's eyes didn't leave the page. She waited patiently as Alex flipped to the next page and shoved an old receipt into its fold. She met Piper's blue eyes with grey ones, "Hi." Piper bit her lip, looking down to the note in her hand, "You dropped this near my table. It was for me right?" Alex smirked, "No, it was for your hot friend." Piper quickly looked to her feet, "Oh." She said in disappointment. Alex continued to stare at her, trying to figure the blonde out without exchanging any words. "Well, her name's Polly, but I have to tell you she has a boyfriend named Pete." Alex nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. Piper shifted from one foot to the other, she felt so stupid and awkward.

Alex watched her squirm as she took in the blonde's appearance, "I'm Alex." Piper nodded her throat suddenly dry. "And you are?" Alex continued, trying to pull words from the shorter girl's mouth. "Uh Piper." She sputtered. "Well Piper, what makes you think I'm gay?" She asked her. Piper gulped wide-eyed. "I'm sorry, I um." Alex smirked, enjoying how she made the girl second guess herself and grow even more uncomfortable. She figured she had suffered enough, "Good eye though." Piper looked anywhere but at her when she heard, "I'm sorry?" Alex searched Piper's blue eyes, "I am gay, and that note was for you." She watched as Piper deflated from all of her anxiety. "Oh thank god." Alex raised a brow as Piper continued, "I thought I made a big mistake, which would be so like me, you see I have this terrible disease called the foot-in-mouth, it tends to flare up during fits of sheer stupidity."

Alex chuckled, unfolding her arms, "You were staring at me this morning, back in the classroom. I noticed you again back in Mod's." She jammed her thumb back behind her in the direction of the café. Piper paled at her cover being blown, "Sorry." Alex smiled, "It's okay, not the first time. Usually those people aren't as cute though." Piper blushed, rubbing the back of her neck nervously. Alex uncrossed her legs, before standing up straighter, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow in class?" Piper nodded before Alex chuckled before walking into the dorm, "Well, I'll see you around Piper."


	2. Beavis and Butthead

"How I wish you could see the potential,

the potential of you and me.

It's like a book elegantly bound but,

in a language that you can't read.

Just yet."

-'I Will Possess Your Heart' by Death Cab for Cutie

Piper practically skipped back to her room, pushing open her door as she went. "Who got into your pants?" Polly asked as she lay on her unmade bed, looking up from her phone to stare curiously at her friend. "What, no one." Piper said, moving over to her bags to unpack. "Sure, let's keep pretending you didn't make eyes at a certain girl since this morning in class. "Oh fuck off Polly." "I knew it!" She hopped up and off of her bed, moving over to Piper as she paced back and forth between the dresser and her suitcase. "She dropped that paper on purpose, so what did you guys do, make out under a tree or something?" Piper blushed crimson, "No, this isn't high school Pol." Polly raised her hands in defense, "My bad college girl." She sat down on Piper's bed, watching the blonde refold shirts before putting them in drawers. "Can you at least tell me what her name is?" Piper sighed heavily; acting aggravated so as not to come off too excited, "Alex, her name is Alex."

Polly nodded, "Okay, so it won't be too hard to scream when her head's between your legs." Piper gasped, turning around and throwing a pillow at her friend, "Polly, it's not like that!" The brunette raised a brow, "Then what is it like, because I saw the way you looked at her, and you never looked at Larry like that." Piper rolled her eyes, "That's because Larry is Larry." Polly chuckled, "Sorry, I don't speak blonde, you're going to have to explain." She said, managing to duck the second pillow. Piper shook her head, smirking, "I don't know, Larry is just nice and funny, you know?" "No I don't know, what's wrong with nice and funny?" Piper shrugged, "Nothing it's just, he never read, and everything about him you already knew because he never would shut up." "So kind of like you?" Polly questioned as she rolled onto her stomach, placing her chin in her hand. Piper shook her head, "I read!" "Yes, but you never shut up!"

"So what's this Alex girl like?" Polly asked on Wednesday as they headed to art history. Piper rolled her eyes, "We talked for like ten minutes Pol, I don't know anything yet." "Well isn't that weird to you? Not knowing anything about the girl you pine after." Piper rolled her eyes, "It's been one day Polly, and besides its kind of nice having to get to know someone, it's different from being with someone you've known since they were in diapers. It adds to the mystery." "Well I hope she isn't too mysterious, she could be like a drug importer or something." "Seriously Polly, a drug importer?!" Piper asked, turning to her. The brunette shrugged, "What you never know."

Piper didn't see Alex when she reached the class. Polly rolled her eyes at the disappointed blonde before taking her hand and dragging her down to their seats in the third row. "She wasn't at the café yesterday either." Piper mumbled as she pulled out her notebook and pen. Class was about to begin when someone settled into the seat beside Piper. A finger poked her elbow. Piper turned to come face to face with grey eyes and a perfectly plucked set of eyebrows, "Alex?" She smiled, "Hey." She handed her a Styrofoam cup of coffee, "I asked Melanie what you had gotten the other day, thought you could use some for this class. Anderson, as young as he is, I don't think he's realized that no one needs an introduction to class rules once you reach college." Piper takes the cup, smiling as Alex grabs another one, handing it over to Polly, "I got you some too." Polly stared at the cup before taking it. A little while into the class Piper notices Polly slipping a note under her notebook. Piper flips it over, reading it. No drugs! Poison is still a tossup, if I'm foaming at the mouth by the end of class, you'll know why. Alex smirked as she read over the blonde's shoulder. Piper quickly wrote back. Fuck off.

Piper received a text from Nicky later in the day, asking her to stop by her room when she got a chance. She rapped on the door thrice before getting a response. "Alex?" Piper questioned as she was welcomed with an evenly confused look. "Piper?" Nicky's voice traveled from deeper in the room. Alex pulled the door farther back as she motioned for Piper to come in. Nicky was sticking earrings in. "Oh good, you're here. Listen, there's a band playing tonight down the street at that Irish pub. Side-boob or something, terrible name, but apparently their sound isn't too bad. Alex is going, want to come?" She looked up at Piper through the mirror as she ran her hands through her hair to get that perfect bedhead. Piper looked between Nicky and Alex, "You know each other?" Nicky nodded, one brow raised more so than the other, turning to face Piper, "Yeah, she's my roommate. Why, do you know each other?" Piper looked over to Alex as she went back to her bed, leaning back against the wall. Piper nodded, "Yeah, we have art history together." Nicky grinned, "Perfect, so we can just skip the awkward introductions."

Nicky put her hands on her hips, "So what's it going to be Chapman, you in?" Piper looked back over at Alex, who was currently absorbed in another faceless book. "Yeah, that sounds good. Let me just go change real quick." Nicky waved a hand in dismissal, "You look fine, it's a bar Pipes, not a beauty pageant. You already won debutante." Piper's face grew red at the memory that Polly had told Nicky one night in a drunken stupor in the back of Steve Johnson's truck.

Alex peered up at the blonde, her mouth covered by her book as it quirked up into a grin. "Nicky, can we not rehash my child hood right now?" Piper groaned. Nicky snickered as she pulled on a leather jacket, "Sure Chapman, but you're not changing. You ready Vause?" She turned to Alex who was climbing off her bed like a cat. Piper tried not to stare, focusing onto a ceiling panel in the corner of the room. "You okay Blondie?" Nicky asked from the door way. Piper turned to see the crazy haired red head staring at her. "Yeah, I'm fine." Her eyes flickered over to Alex who was also pulling on a leather jacket. "Did I miss the memo?" Piper asked. "Wouldn't be the first time." Nicky recalled, growing antsy, "Come on let's go, don't want to be late for the tomato tossing." Piper shook her head, reaching the door at the same time Alex did. They both waved each other to go first as Nicky called out again, "Come on Beavis and Butthead, I don't have all night." Piper walked out first, "Which one am I?" Nicky ignored her as she walked ahead of them towards the lobby of the dorm.

"You don't have to look away you know." Alex said once she was fairly certain that Nicky was out of earshot. "I'm sorry?" Piper said, continuing to walk. "You can look, or not, you don't have to." Piper stopped walking, turning to face the taller woman, "Are you telling me you want me to stare?" Alex rolled her eyes, "I just figured it would be easier for you not to get whiplash every time I look over at you." Piper felt herself blush once more. Nicky came back around the corner, "Are you two coming, or am I interrupting something?"

The bar wasn't crowded per-se; no in fact there were only about forty people tops, mostly people in their forties and fifties. "Was there a party tonight?" Piper asked, noticing that there was no one else even close to their age group there. Nicky moved over to the bar, ordering a beer for all of them with her fake id. Nicky chuckled, handing them each a beer, both of them refusing to look at the other. "Works every time." Nicky said, looking between the two of them, "What is this, the third grade?" Piper bit her lip, stifling a laugh, nothing got past the short red head.

A group of guys started setting up on the small stage at the back of the bar. Nicky grabbed a table nearest the stage, "Come on guys, these dudes could be famous someday, maybe if we're lucky, they'll sweat on us." Alex chuckled, "Gross." Piper smiled, taking a seat next to Nicky, leaving Alex on the other side of the table by herself.

"Okay, not only do I feel like a mother chaperoning her kid's date, but I have to hit the head. Don't do anything I wouldn't do while I'm gone." Nicky winked at Piper as she left to go to the bathroom. Piper shook her head, turning back to Alex, "There isn't much she wouldn't do." Piper hadn't realized what she said until it was too late. Her eyes widened as she took notice to Alex's smirk. Piper shifted her gaze to the older guy with a pedophile looking mustache pluck away at the bass. Piper took a swig from her second beer as she noticed Alex switch seats, coming to sit beside her. "They're not so bad." Piper announced to no one in particular. Alex nodded, not taking her eyes off of the smaller blonde, "They suck." Piper turned, not realizing how close Alex was to her. She gulped visibly, her eyes traveling down to her lips.

"Alright break it up; we should probably get Blondie here back before Super Bitch pops a blood vessel waiting up for her." Nicky had suddenly appeared behind them. Piper stood up quickly, practically knocking her chair over as she went. Alex chuckled, pulling herself up and onto her feet.

They walked the short walk back to the dorms in the dark, it was past one in the morning and the air had a bite to it. Piper shivered, clutching her shoulders in a sad attempt to keep warm. She had no jacket since Nicky hadn't let her go back to change. "Here." Piper felt something cover her shoulders as she turned to find Alex stuffing her hands back into her pockets, now only wearing a light weight long sleeve baseball shirt. "Oh how noble of you Vause. You must be a real hit with the ladies." Nicky said as she eyed them suspiciously. Alex tugged her lips up into a grin, stretching her leg out to kick Nicky in the ass. "Hey, feet off the merchandise." Nicky called back over her shoulder. Piper chuckled as she pulled the leather jacket tighter around her. "You can put it on." Alex mumbled, her eyes not leaving her feet. Piper nodded, quickly pulling on the jacket which was slightly too big on her.

"Thanks for the jacket." Piper said, handing it back to Alex as they reached Nicky's door. Nicky had already gone inside; it was just Piper and Alex then. Alex leaned up against the door jam, taking her jacket from the blonde's outstretched hand. "Sure." She said. Piper nodded, fidgeting slightly with the thread of her jean shorts. Alex continued to look at her before saying, "Good night Piper, I'll see you." She then leaned in and kissed Piper on the cheek before going into her and Nicky's dorm, shutting the door behind her. Piper continued to stare at the door, not finding the strength to move from her spot in the hallway. Her hand flew up to her cheek, smiling slightly as she finally turned and headed down the hall to her dorm, where she would without a doubt have to catch Polly up on the night's events before she even got a chance to sleep, if that was even possible at that point.


	3. Faulkner Meets Austen

"She's got you high and you don't even know yet"

-'She's Got You High' by Mumm-ra

"So wait, she just kissed you?" Polly asked from her side of the room. Piper flopped down onto her bed, taking comfort in the softness of her duvet. "On the cheek." She clarified. Polly nodded, "Right, I forgot we are in a Nicholas Sparks movie for a minute there." Piper rolled her eyes, "You mean his books." Polly shook her head, curling up underneath the covers of her bed, "No, he has movies." Piper changed into pajamas, turning to face her illiterate best friend, "His books are better, but not like everyone says they are." Polly sighed, "Sorry, you're going to have to save this conversation for your book nerd girlfriend." Piper smirked, "She is not my girlfriend." "Yet." Polly said.

"Polly, don't be ridiculous. I just got out of a relationship not even a month ago, what makes you think I want to be tied down again?" Piper asked, turning to face the wall in a sad attempt to get some sleep before classes the next day. "It's always the quiet ones that are the kinkiest." Polly said. Piper scoffed, about ready to respond when she heard the soft sounds of the brunette snoring. Piper shook her head, flipping her pillow over to the cooler side before settling back down into the mattress.

"I mean you said it yourself Vause, Rick Allen could totally beat Alex Van Halen in any drumming contest, easy." Nicky said from her spot atop her desk. "Very true indeed." Alex remarked as she flipped to the next page in her book. "So what's up with you and Chapman anyways?" Nicky asked her. Alex looked up from her reading, fighting the urge to smile at the name, "What do you mean?" Nicky rolled her eyes, "You two were googly-eyed for each other last night, which is fine, but I got to warn you." Alex cut her off, "If I hurt her, my ass is grass?" Nicky grinned, "Close enough."

"Well now that you have your friend business out of the way, what's she like?" Alex asked, returning back to her book. She always found it easy to talk and read at the same time. "Well, she's not the easiest person to get along with, but she's cool. I met her back in freshman year of high school, just don't piss off her friend Polly, made that mistake once, I'm still refusing to kiss her ass for it." Alex chuckled, "Noted. So like what does she like?" She continued to ask. Nicky looked up then, "Piper is hard to nail down for one thing, she is pretty easy going, goes with the flow of things, she had a boyfriend at one point, he was a drag, worse than Super Bitch if you can believe it." She hopped off of the desk, sitting backwards in the chair instead. Alex nodded, "So what, she's bisexual then?"

Nicky smirked, "You could say that, she and I shared a drunken night once in Junior year. Yeah, just don't bring it up to her; she thinks I was too drunk to remember anything." Alex raised a brow, "So what, you guys fuck or something?" Nicky chuckled, "Nah, just a little tongue in throat action, for someone who is a WASP, she sure knows how to kiss." She stood then, grabbing her jacket and turning back to the taller woman, "But remember, I'm classy so I don't kiss and tell." Then she burst out laughing before heading out the door on her way to work.

Alex waited all of two minutes before tossing her book to the side and grabbing her jacket. She was overdue for a caffeine induced coma.

"Do you want anything while I'm gone?" Piper asked Polly as she slipped on her shoes and jacket. It was a windy September, the air cooling down faster than usual, even for Massachusetts. "No I'm good." Polly said as she checked her email on her laptop.

Piper walked the short distance to Mod's, finding solace in the quiet afternoon. She got a coffee to go, settling herself down under a tree to read for a while.

"Truly Piper, we got to stop meeting each other like this." Piper quickly looked up from her paperback to find Alex standing over her, a coffee in her hand along with a book to mirror her. Piper moved to stand, "I'm sorry, is this your spot?" Alex chuckled, "Nah, I just saw you over here, thought I'd say hi." Piper sat back down against the trunk of the tree, "Oh." Alex smirked, "So, hi." "Hi." Piper said, shutting her book. Alex looked to the cover before shaking her head, "Don't stop on my account, I was just going to read too. Mind if I share this tree with you?" Piper shook her head, "No not at all." She scooted over some so Alex could sit.

Alex crouched down beside the blonde, stretching her long legs out like a feline. Piper tried to focus on the text in her book instead of the length of Alex's legs. Alex watched the blonde bite her lip as she tried to read.

"Problem?" Alex asked a few minutes into the awkward silence that followed. Piper shook her head, biting her tongue and trying to focus on the words on the page. Alex sat up, continuing to eye the blonde as she tried to hide behind her book. Alex smirked, crossing her arms over her chest, "Okay." Her eyes flicked to the title of the book she was reading from, "Faulkner." She mumbled, nodding in approval. Piper looked up, "Have you read this one?" Holding up A Rose for Emily for her to see. Alex shook her head, "One of his short stories right?" Piper nodded, impressed, gorgeous and well read. She noticed Alex smirk, her eyes widening, "Did I just say that out loud?" Alex bit her lip, "You may have."

Alex watched Piper's face turn multiple shades of red and chuckled, "Personally I like Light in August the most out of his works, very moving." Piper sputtered, "Yeah, that's a good one. This one though is about this woman who is a part of an antebellum Southern aristocracy, so when she falls in love with this Northern laborer, her father forbids her from marrying him because he is below them in status." Alex nodded slowly, "Sounds like every sappy turn of the century novel." She faked a southern accent, "But Daddy I love him and you can't keep me away from him!" Piper giggled, "That's usually the case yes, but this one opens with her funeral." Alex raises a brow, "I'm listening." Piper smiled before continuing her explanation of why Faulkner was a literary genius.

"Same time tomorrow?" Alex asked as they reached her door. Piper nodded excitedly, "Tomorrow then." Alex began to open her door as Piper headed down the hall, when she turned, "Hey Piper." Piper turned. "Gorgeous huh?" Alex said, grinning. Piper blushed, "Shut up." Alex chuckled before heading inside her dorm.

Nicky was sitting on her bed upside down, her legs against the wall as she threw skittles up into the air to catch with her mouth. "Have fun ambushing Piper?" she asked. Alex dropped her unread book on her bed, slipping out of her boots as she went. "I didn't ambush her." Nicky turned right side up and nodded, crumpling her wrapper and tossing it into the small trashcan, "Sure, you totally didn't follow her." Alex shook her head, "Nope." "Cause that would be creepy." Nicky continued, eyeing her suspiciously. Alex smirked, refusing to meet the shorter woman's eyes. "Just be careful with her, her last breakup didn't end well." Nicky warned. Alex nodded, "Not to worry, I'm just having fun with her. I don't think it'll get too serious." Alex picked up her book and flipped to the page she had underlined last.

"I don't know Polly, she's just so amazing. She's well read, I mean she knew who Faulkner was!" Piper said, lying on the floor of her dorm. "Who?" Polly asked from her spot in front of her vanity. "Exactly, now where was it you said you were going tonight?" Polly finished putting her earrings in, "Pete asked me out to a dinner and a movie." Piper smiled, she had always liked Pete. Polly and Pete had met back in senior year, he now lived in a flat about five miles from Smith.

"Tell Pete I said hi." Piper said as Polly grabbed her purse. "Tell Jane Austen I said hello too." Polly said. Piper raised a brow, "Really? What makes you think I'm going to see her tonight?" Polly rolled her eyes, "Please, there's no way you are going to stay hold up in here for the rest of the night. It's Friday Piper, and I know you more than I know myself." Piper nodded in agreement, "I'm going to go see Nicky, and if she just so happens to be there, then great." Polly opened the door, heading into the hallway, "Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself to get some." Piper gapped, "It's not like that Polly." Polly smirked, raising a brow as Piper continued, grinning, "Yet." Polly chuckled, "That's my girl, now I'll see you later. I don't expect you to wait up for me anyways."

Piper smiled, "Cause knowing you, you won't be coming back tonight anyways." Polly waggled her brows before leaving. Piper waited all about five minutes before texting Nicky that she was stopping by.


	4. Drunken Mistake

"We're finally drunk enough that,

We're finally soaking up,

The hours that everyone else throws away."

-'After Hours' by We Are Scientists

Piper knocked three times before Nicky's door opened. It was Alex. "Hi." Piper said as Alex let her in. "Where's Nicky?" She asked, finding the room empty of any other life forms. Alex shut the door, sauntering over to her bed, "Fucking saw your text and bolted, said she had somewhere to be." Piper nodded, awkwardly sitting down in the desk chair. Alex studied her, pulling her knees up to her chest, "Want to play a game?" Piper pursed her lips before answering, "What kind of game?" Alex smirked, "Never have I ever." Piper shrugged, "You have anything to drink for it?" Alex leaned over the edge of the bed, pulling out a half empty bottle of Absinthe.

"Okay, here." Alex handed Piper a shot glass and filled it half way. "We'll do half shots so it isn't a quick game." Piper raised a brow, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Alex shrugged, "Nothing, just that Absinthe is really fucking strong." Piper shook her head, "Do you want to go first?" Alex nodded, "Never have I ever had sex with a guy." Piper gulped down the bitter liquid, "Nicky told you." Alex shrugged, "I didn't know it was a secret." Piper shook her head, "It's not, it just never came up is all." Alex nodded as Piper continued, "Never have I ever done any drugs harder than weed." Alex raised a brow, not moving to drink.

Piper nodded as Alex said, "Never have I ever fallen in love." Piper bit her lip before throwing back her shot. "Never have I ever had a one night stand." Alex smirked guiltily before taking her first shot. "Really?" Piper asked. Alex nodded, "Not everyone is worth more than one night."

Piper nodded, watching as Alex leaned forward, "That doesn't mean they're not fun." She cupped Piper's jaw, pulling her in and kissing her. Piper felt all of her resolve fly out the window in that moment as she kissed back, tugging on Alex's hair as the kiss deepened.

Piper woke the next morning, her face pressed into a pillow. She rolled over to find herself not in her own dorm, naked. She recognized the room, finding herself alone in Nicky's dorm. She sat up, realizing whose bed she was in. "Fuck." She mumbled, running a hand through her disheveled hair. She couldn't remember much from the night before, the last thing she could think of was agreeing to a game of never have I ever. "Fuck." She said again, climbing out of the bed and began searching for her clothes. She found her pants and shirt easily, her underwear was balled up by the chair, but her bra was nowhere to be found. "Fuck!" She exclaimed, quickly looking around her room before giving up and pulling her shirt on over her head. She wasn't sure if she should leave a note, but she did know that she needed to get out of there before Alex got back.

She couldn't get over the fact that she had embarrassed herself completely and screwed up any chance of having something with Alex. She could barely remember who initiated the first kiss, let alone if the sex was good. She felt sore, so she was assuming that at least Alex knew what she was doing.

When Alex woke up to find a certain blonde asleep beside her, she kind of freaked out. Unlike Piper, she had consumed far less alcohol, which meant that she remembered everything from the night before. Something had happened to Alex that had never happened before, she felt something more than just lust, and it scared her.

She had fled from her own room because she didn't know what would happen when Piper woke up, she assumed that the blonde would want to discuss what had happened, but she wasn't sure she wanted anything to become of them, no one had ever made her feel the things she felt, content and warm. She figured that last night was a mistake, and that if she were to see Piper again, she would make that mistake over and over again. Alex needed to keep her emotions in check, she knew what would happen if she kept herself together, but if she let her feelings go rampant, she was unsure of what could happen, and that scared her. Alex wanted to be able to take control of a situation, and if she went back into that room, if she had stayed beneath those sheets with her, she wouldn't have been able to.

Alex was afraid, and that was why she left. She figured that Piper would wake up and leave before she would return and then she would have to figure out ways to avoid her. She didn't want to do that, but she knew that it was for the best.

Piper reached her room at the same time Polly did. "Look at you, doing the walk of shame." Polly said as she unlocked their door. Piper rolled her eyes, "You're one to talk, look at you." The brunette smirked, opening the door, "Yes, but I knew what I was getting myself into." Piper brushed past her, searching for a towel and a change of clothes. "I'm going to go get a shower." Piper said, closing the door behind her and headed towards the dorm showers.

On her way back from the showers, she had to pass Alex's door, Nicky's door. She dried her hair as she walked, trying to avoid looking at the door.

When she returned to her dorm, Polly was gone. She shook her head, picking up her book and plopped down on her bed, trying to keep her mind off of the night before. It had been all of five minutes before her phone pinged, announcing an incoming text. She sighed, knowing it couldn't be anyone important, Alex didn't have her number. It was Nicky, asking her to come to her room. Piper gulped, getting ready to respond telling her that she was busy, when another text came in- She left. Assuming she meant Alex, Piper climbed off of her bed and made her way down the hall towards Nicky's.

Her door was ajar as she walked in, not bothering to knock. "Hey Nicky, what's up?" She asked. Nicky's back was to her.

The bushy red head turned around, Piper's bra dangling from her pointer finger, "Found this, looks like you had a fun night." Piper scowled, snatching her bra from Nicky and stuffing it into her back pocket.

"I wouldn't say fun." She said. Nicky nodded, "Yeah, as soon as Alex knew that you were coming over, she ran out of here like an ex-con out of prison." Piper rolled her eyes, "I wish I knew what had happened." Nicky's brow furrowed, "What do you mean, you don't know what happened?"

Piper shook her head, "Absinthe is not very friendly." Nicky smirked, "Well you always were the lush."

Piper shook her head, "I just don't get it Nicky." The shorter woman shrugged, "That's something you need to talk to her about Pipes, if you can get her to talk to you."


	5. Just Friends

"Darlin' you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?

If you say that you are mine

I'll be here 'til the end of time

So you got to let me know

Should I stay or should I go?"

-'Should I Stay or Should I Go' by The Clash

Piper made her way towards art history the next day. She was currently ignoring Polly as she went on and on about Pete's new flat. She rolled her eyes, trying to focus on the concrete in front of her instead of what she was going to do when she saw Alex in less than five minutes.

Leaving the class room later on in the day, Piper hadn't seen Alex at all. She figured that Alex had just come in late and left early so Piper had never seen her. Her phone rang soon after, stopping her in her tracks. "Want to grab some coffee?" Nicky asked. Piper nodded before realizing that she was on the phone, "Sure, five minutes." She made her way to Mod's, Polly in tow. She was hoping that Alex would be there, even if she didn't want to talk to her, she wanted just to see her. She got her wish, when she reached the door to Mod's she was going in at the same time Alex was coming out, knocking them both back onto their asses.

"Jesus fuck." Alex mumbled, pulling herself to her feet. She hadn't noticed who she had run into. "Alex." She quickly looked up and away from the bluest eyes as she tried to walk past the blonde. Piper grabbed a hold of her forearm, keeping her in place. "Alex, we should talk." Piper said. Alex nodded slightly as Piper continued, "I'm going to get a coffee, and I'll meet you by our tree, I mean the tree by F dorm." Alex turned leaving before Piper could say anymore.

Piper walked into Mod's finding Nicky in the corner, sipping from a mug. "Nicky, I can't stay; something came up, but look who I brought." Polly stood beside Piper, "I'm going to get you back for this." She mumbled. Nicky looked up at the brunette in amusement, "Hey Polly Pocket, how's Petey doing?"

Pete had always had a soft spot for Nichols. Polly smiled close lipped, "He's alright." Piper looked between the two of them before heading over to the barista to get her coffee. Polly and Nicky looked at each other before Nicky said, "I got somewhere to be anyway." "Oh thank god." Polly muttered. "Aw that's real sweet of you, but I hardly consider myself God." Nicky grinned before walking away. She loved to piss off Polly; it was one of her favorite past times.

Piper found Alex sitting beneath the tree, her Styrofoam cup held in both hands. "You actually came." Piper said, astounded. Alex looked up at her, "It's the least I could do after avoiding you for two days." She smiled weakly up at the blonde before staring back at her cup. Piper crouched down beside her, "I assume we slept together." Alex raised a brow, "Assume?" Piper gulped, "I don't quite remember that night, Absinthe and all." Alex nodded, "Yeah, we slept together." Piper nodded, "You weren't there when I woke up, so I'm guessing it was just a one-time thing?"

Alex shifted on the ground, "Sorry, but I think it would be best if we just stayed friends." Piper nodded, feeling a sudden lump in her throat, that's what she thought she was going to say. "Oh that's okay, I was hoping that too." Alex nodded, standing up, "I have to go, I'm meeting someone over at the pub in an hour, I'll see you around." Piper watched Alex's receding back and mumbled, "Yeah, see you around."

"And you just let her go, just like that?" Polly asked an hour later as Piper lay across her bed, trying to ignore the dull pounding in her head. "Polly can we please just drop it okay? Alex doesn't want to be more than friends, and if I'm going to be completely honest, I still haven't fully recovered from the whole thing with Larry yet." Polly rolled her eyes, "You mean the break up that you instigated?" Piper groaned, not wanting to have to rehash the break up from August.

"It was the end of the summer Pol; I wasn't going to see him anymore once we got to Smith." "Yes, but that doesn't mean you had to end things. Pete and I are still together." Polly pointed out. Piper rolled over to face the wall, "Pete lives five minutes from here." "Yeah, about that." Piper sat up, facing her friend, "What are you talking about?" Polly winced, "Well, you see, when I was over at Pete's the other night, I kind of sort of ran into Larry." Piper raised a brow, "What do you mean you ran into Larry?"

Polly sighed, "He moved in with Pete so he could be closer to Smith. He wouldn't shut up about you, kept asking about you and how you were doing." "Well what did you say?" Piper asked. "What did you want me to say? I told him that you were doing fine, that you were enjoying all of your classes." Piper rolled her eyes, "What did he say?" Polly raised a brow to mirror the blonde, "Why do you care? Aren't you still looking at Alex like she hung the fucking moon?" Piper made a motion with her hand as if to discard the thought, "What did he say Polly?" The brunette sighed, shifting on the bed and crossed her legs pretzel style, "He said he wanted to see you, go for coffee or something on Thursday. I told him that you might be busy, but that you would call him if you could."

Piper's eyes bugged out of her head, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth, "Maybe I should call him." "Piper its past midnight." Polly tried to reason. Piper shook her head, "He won't be asleep, he'll probably just be playing video games or something." Piper grabbed her phone, scrolling through her contacts until she found Larry's name. "Piper, you really hurt him. You broke up with him remember, you're lucky he even wants to talk to you." "That's because he loves me Polly."

"I know that, but don't you think that's unfair to him if you don't feel the same way?" Polly asked. Piper shook her head, "How do you know I don't still love him?" Polly shook her head, "I'm getting whiplash Piper, and I don't want any part in this tomfoolery. I'm not cleaning up your messes anymore." Piper ignored her, taking her phone and heading outside of the dorms, leaning down so she was sitting propped up against the bricks of the building. The phone felt hot in her palm as she looked out at the dark campus, illuminated in spots along the concrete.

She was wondering if she should call Larry, if she did she would only be throwing him and everyone else through yet another loop. She couldn't just keep going back to people that she knew loved her just because she didn't want to be alone. She hated the feeling of having no one to call hers, to have no one run their fingers through her hair, or to have no one to kiss and whisper good night to. She heard two people talking and a pair of heels clacking along the sidewalk heading towards the F dorms. Piper noticed right away that it was Alex, her and her new conquest, surely someone else that she would bed the moment Nicky wasn't in their room. She felt a swell of jealousy well up in her chest, clenching her phone tightly in her fist.

Alex stopped underneath the light closest to the dorm and leaned in, kissing the hot brunette in front of her. Piper tried to look away, but found herself glued to the sight before her. She clamped down on her lip, biting until she tasted copper. She wiped away the blood on her lip, and ducked behind the side of the dorm when she saw the couple heading towards her. She didn't want Alex to see her, especially with a busted lip and daggers for eyes.

Piper looked down to her phone; relocating Larry's number and dialed. He answered on the second ring, "Pipes?" Piper felt relieved at the familiar gravelly voice. "Hi, I'm sorry, were you asleep?" She heard movement on the other end, "Nah, you know me, just playing a little World of Warcraft before hitting the hay." Piper found herself rolling her eyes at his analogy for going to sleep.

"Polly told me you wanted to go for coffee?" She held her breath, waiting for him to respond. "Yeah, I was going to call you, but I wasn't sure if you would answer." Piper smiled, "I would always pick up if you called Larry." There was a pause, "Oh, I wasn't so sure after the last time we talked." Piper nodded, knowing fully well what conversation he was hinting at, "Yeah, about that, can we just think of that as water under the bridge? I miss you."

"I miss you too Pipes." He said. Piper grinned, she had him. "Hey, there's a café on campus, maybe you'd want to meet there on Thursday?" She didn't have to wait long; Larry practically talked over her before she could finish, "Yeah that would be great. What's the place called just in case I get lost?" Piper smirked, "Mod's."

Piper sat at a table in the corner of the café, waiting for Larry to show. It was raining outside, and she had been waiting for about twenty minutes. He wasn't late, she was just exceptionally early. She didn't want Alex to see her until Larry was there, if she came at all. Piper had a good idea that Alex came to Mod's at least once a day.

Larry entered the coffee shop at the same time a tall raven haired woman had, "Sorry." He mumbled, allowing her to go in ahead of him. He pulled his hood down and smiled when he saw Piper staring off into space in the far corner of the shop. He made his way over to her as if he hadn't dreamt of doing so for the past month, like he hadn't rehearsed what he was going to say to her the whole way over. "Piper." He said, standing beside the table she sat at. He took off his jacket, hanging it on the back of his chair. She continued to star holes into the back of Alex's head. Larry had to call her name twice more before she turned to take him in. She stood almost immediately, pulling him in a hug, catching him off guard.

He pressed his nose into her hair as she barely acknowledged whose arms were around her. She couldn't stop staring at Alex who had her back to her at the counter. She felt the familiar feeling in her gut, telling her that calling Larry had been a mistake. He felt different now, too rough, too hard. Physically he hadn't changed much since a month ago, but she knew that the arms she wanted to be in were nothing like his.

She pulled away first, smiling at him before noticing Alex turn away from the counter and lock eyes with her. Piper caught the taller woman's eye brow raise as she took in the man that stood before the blonde. She smirked and left. Piper felt her face grow hot, hoping to god it wasn't red. She hadn't been embarrassed, just pissed that her attempt at getting a rise out of Alex had failed. She figured that's what she got for being so childish.

"So how've you been?" She heard Larry ask. She looked down on him; he had sat down at the table as she continued to stand like a dumbfounded idiot. Piper quickly sat down across from him, "Good, I've been good. How are you?" Larry smiled at her, the kind where his jaw was crooked and his crow's feet showed. She found herself counting his teeth that had been yellowed lightly by coffee. "I'm doing alright, I've missed you." He said, trying to bring her back from her distanced gaze.

He knew that look; it had captured her face more than once during their last few weeks as a couple. He cleared his throat, "Is this a bad time Piper, should we reschedule?" he asked. Piper came too, gripping the handle of her mug until her knuckles whitened, "What, no. I've missed you too." She said, trying to help him regain his confidence. He seemed to relax as he leaned back in his chair before straightening again, "I'm going to get some coffee, do you want anything?" Piper smiled, sliding her empty cup over to him. She was suddenly reminded of why she had loved Larry; he had taken care of her.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Nicky asked Alex as she watched the taller woman storm into the room and throw her jacket onto her bed, she had begun to pace the small space of linoleum in their room. Alex grumbled, saying nothing. Nicky noticed the coffee cup in her hand, "You saw Piper with Larry didn't you?" She chuckled as Alex growled, "She knew I would be there." Nicky raised a brow, "To be fair, she saw you with that hot chick the other night." Alex looked up at the red head, "Who, Cara?" Nicky shrugged, not knowing the name of the girl Alex had gone out to the pub with. Alex rolled her eyes, "She was nothing." Nicky grinned, "Yeah that's why Piper was bitching about PDA under a certain street lamp for over an hour, you owe me a beer for that by the way."

Alex finally stopped pacing and sat on the edge of her bed, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands, she hadn't bothered with makeup considering she had only left the room to go get coffee, even such a simple task as that turned into a nightmare. She couldn't get the image of Piper with that man's arms around her out of her head. Nicky seemed to be enjoying Alex's stress, "You did push her away you know." Alex shook her head, "I had to, she made my head cloudy. I felt higher off of her then I have in my entire life. I didn't like how it felt."

Nicky smirked, "What, like love?" Alex grimaced, "It was one night Nicky, don't be fucking stupid." "Sometimes all it takes is one night Vause, might be surprised what the right person at the right time can do to you, they fuck you up royally, but fuck me if you don't enjoy the ride." Alex looked up at her, remembering what she had said to a drunken Piper not that long ago, some people aren't worth more than one night. She couldn't believe how fucking stupid she had been, to think that she could just fuck her and then leave her, that may have worked for her before on many occasions, but she couldn't bear to be in the same room as the blonde now, and she hated that. She had told Piper that they could be friends, but they were still acquaintances that had a one night stand.

"You still with me Vause?" Nicky asked from her place on her bed. Alex looked up at her, "She did that on purpose, she wanted me to see her with him, well two can play at that game." Nicky's eyes widened, "Oh fuck, you aren't going to do what I think you're going to do." Alex grinned, sipping from her now lukewarm coffee, "What, I'm not going to do anything." Nicky shook her head, "Why is it always me that gets my ass wedged right in the middle of things that I got nothing to do with?"


	6. The Great War Of Hair

"Oh, my stomach's tied in knots

I'm afraid of what I'll find if I see you again tonight

Ooh ooh

See the problem isn't you, it's me, I know

I do this every single time

I'll push you away (ooh)

I get so afraid, oh, no."

-'Stomach Tied in Knots' by Sleeping With Sirens

"So what are you planning for Halloween Chapman?" Nicky asked as they walked along the campus with nowhere to go in particular. Piper hadn't seen Alex since two weeks before when she and Larry had rekindled their relationship. Piper didn't find her thinking about her much anymore, which was a good thing she kept telling herself, trying to contradict the feeling of her heart ripping out of her chest every time she realized that Alex was fading from her thoughts.

"Chapman?" Nicky looked to Piper, curiosity etched across her brow. Piper shook her head, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Nicky smirked, "Got some Jew boy on your mind?" Piper smiled, trying to hide the disgust on her face. "Yeah, Halloween was it?" Nicky rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I'm going to be batman and Lorna's going to be cat woman." Piper smiled, she had met Lorna a few times before. Nicky had met her in the pub one night and claims that she has yet to take her eyes away from her. "That's cool, I don't know if I'm going to do the whole costume thing this year."

Nicky gapped at her, "Piper you've got to dress up and go to the club with us. Bring Larry if you must." Piper sighed, every year they had all gotten together and partied into the early morning or late afternoon the next day. It was one of the only times Polly and Nicky got along, probably because they were both too shitfaced to realize who they were talking to. The reason Piper found herself not wanting to go was because she knew that Nicky had invited Alex.

"Don't worry about Alex; she's bringing some girl with her, Jamie or something, I don't know." Nicky continued as they made their way back to the dorms. Piper clenched her hands into fists before unclenching them, "Okay, I'll bring Larry, we're meeting at the club or here first?" Piper asked. Nicky grinned, "Well Vause, Lorna, and I were heading over to the club together, so you could come along or just meet us there." Piper nodded, "I'll meet you guys there then."

"Polly have you seen my other heel?" Piper asked from their joined closet. "Yeah, it's under my bed, have you seen my eyeliner?" Polly countered. Piper emerged from the closet, "Why the fuck is it under your bed?" She knelt down and retrieved the heel. "Your eyeliner is on my bed." She said. By themselves they had no trouble getting dressed up, but together they were like a hot mess.

"When are Larry and Pete getting here?" Piper asked as she zipped up her skirt. "They should be here any minute." Polly said through a barrette she had between her teeth. Just then there was a knock at the door, Piper quickly threw on her shirt and opened the door expecting Larry or Pete, but what she got was someone she was not expecting, at least for another hour or so. "Alex." She said, confused.

The taller woman's eyes traveled down Piper's body, taking in the leather skirt and fishnet stockings. She cleared her throat, "Uh, Nicky was wondering if you guys had any hairspray she could borrow." Piper stood dumbstruck, her mouth not able to form words. Alex wasn't dressed in a costume either; instead she was wearing her usual skin tight jeans and band shirt with her leather jacket over top. Polly cleared her throat from within the room, handing Piper a can of hairspray. Piper nearly dropped it as she handed it over to Alex. "Thanks." Alex mumbled before leaving as fast as she could.

"What the fuck was that?" Polly asked as she pulled Piper away from the door and shut it. Piper shook her head; no longer confident that she could still go to the club, be with Larry and act like he was who she wanted while the one she really wanted was all over another girl. "Pipes, forget about her, you have a great guy coming to sweep you off of your feet in less than five minutes." Piper couldn't help but think her feet weren't on the ground already.

"Well shit you look like you just saw a ghost." Nicky said before taking the hairspray from Alex, "Thank you soldier for sacrificing yourself for the great war that is my hair." Alex rolled her eyes, "You knew that she would answer the door." Nicky looked at her through the mirror, "Something tells me that you knew that too." Alex shook her head, turning to the short woman sitting on the edge of Nicky's bed, "Lorna, you need to keep your girl in line before she can't walk a straight line." She joked. Lorna smirked, "Why's that?" "Cause I'm going to shove my foot up her ass before the night's end." Lorna laughed as Nicky turned and sprayed the air in front of Alex's face with hairspray. Alex coughed as she continued to laugh.

"So when's Jaimie getting here?" Lorna asked. Alex sighed, "Any minute now." "Well you sound thrilled Vause." Nicky said as she fixed her mascara. "Oh babe, would you leave her alone?" Lorna said, looking at Nicky as if to tell her to lay off of Alex. Nicky shrugged, "I just think that they're both fucking idiots is all." Alex raised a brow, "Wait, what?" Nicky's eyes widened, "Nothing." Alex stood, "Nicky, what do you mean we are both idiots? What did Piper do?" Nicky cursed herself, "Foot-in-mouth disease, it's pretty contagious." Lorna shook her head, looking to Alex with pity in her eyes. "You know too?" Alex asked her. Lorna raised her hands in defense, "Don't attack the civilian." Alex scoffed, shaking her head just as someone knocked on the door. Jaime had arrived.

Piper trailed behind Polly and Pete as they entered the club. Larry had already begun talking her ear off about where he had gotten the materials to make his costume. She rolled her eyes, going immediately over to the bar, she was usually the one that stayed somewhat sober so that she could be the responsible cab caller, but tonight was going to have to be a different story. If she was going to have to listen to Larry go on and on about comic con while watching Alex over his shoulder have a blast with someone else, she was going to have to be well on her way to a nasty hangover.

She saw Nicky come in a moment later with Lorna's arm looped with hers. She noticed Alex right away, walking beside a tall and rail-thin blonde. Piper rolled her eyes as she turned to the bar tender, "Can I have a shot of tequila and a vodka tonic please?" The guy nodded, leaving to make her drinks. She felt Nicky clap her on the back, "Getting a head start there Chapman?" She asked. Piper smiled, looking to Polly who was wrapped up in Pete. "I guess you could say that." She said. Lorna smiled at her before wrapping an arm around Nicky's waist, "Hey Piper." "Hi Lorna." Piper greeted her as she thanked the bar tender who had returned with her drinks. Larry came over then, "Piper, I lost you for a minute there." Piper looked at him and then to Alex who had somehow sidled up beside Nicky, her arm wrapped around her date.

"Oh Piper, this is Jaime." Nicky said, turning to introduce Jaime. Piper nodded, taking notice to the look Nicky was making as she turned back to face Larry, "What the fuck are you supposed to be?" she asked him. He was taken off guard, "A Klingon." He said simply. Nicky's face screwed up in confusion, "A what?" Alex nearly spit out her beer at Nicky's tone. Her eyes met Piper's over their friend's head. Alex looked away first, turning to look at Jaime, she was pretty, sure but already from the ride over to the club, Alex heard enough about fashion and MTV to last a lifetime.

"It's from Star Trek." Larry said, trying to explain the nature of his costume. Nicky shook her head, clearly annoyed, "Couldn't you have just been Darth Vader or that Skywalker kid?" Piper looked at Nicky with pleading eyes; she could tell Larry was becoming uncomfortable. "Well that's Star Wars." He said, looking to Piper who was glaring at Alex's receding back. "Pipes?" He asked to get her attention. "Yeah?" she asked, turning back to her shot on the bar, taking it in one quick movement. Larry looked at her curiously, "Starting already?" he asked. "Well we are at a club so yeah." Piper said, clearly irritated. Nicky looked between the two of them before pulling Lorna onto the dance floor where she found Alex dancing with Jaime. "Only causing more work for me Vause." Nicky yelled over the music. Alex smirked, "What work? You'll be on the floor in no time." Nicky chuckled, pulling Lorna to her, "You know me so well."

Piper hadn't stopped after the one shot, tossing back four more and finishing three vodka tonics before Larry spoke up from his spot at the bar. Piper hadn't made a move to acknowledge him all night. "Piper, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. Piper looked at him, "Do what?" He shrugged, "Are you sure that us getting back together was such a good idea?" Piper raised a brow, turning and almost tripping to face him, "Why wouldn't it be a good idea?"

Larry stood, steadying her, "You've been distant is all." Piper leaned into him, "You love me don't you?" Her voice cracked in her drunken stupor. He sighed heavily, "Pipes, I'm not worried about my feelings." Piper shook her head, "Do you still love me?" she asked again. He smiled weakly, "Of course I do Pipes, come on, let's get you home." He grabbed her coat and helped her put it on before calling a cab.

Alex couldn't see Piper from where she was standing anymore. She had sat down at a booth with Lorna and Pete around an hour ago, no longer in the mood to dance. Nicky was dancing with Piper's friend, which was weird, even for an intoxicated Polly. "Where'd Jaime go?" Lorna asked her. Alex shrugged, "No idea." She nursed her half empty beer as she tried to find Piper at the bar. "This has been officially one of the worst Halloween's ever." Alex muttered, as she located Piper stumbling out of the bar with Larry. "I don't know I'm kind of enjoying what I'm seeing." Pete spoke up, pointing to Nicky and Polly who were currently grinding on each other. Lorna stood up, dragging Nicky off of the dance floor and plopped her down in the booth, handing her a glass of water, "Time you sober up some." Lorna said. Polly sat down next to Pete, "Jaime said she had to go." Alex sat back in relief; she no longer had to worry about finding the blonde before she left.

"I'm going to go guys, Lorna you're responsible that these two get back to their dorms, Pete; it was nice to meet you." Alex said as Pete saluted her. She nodded, grabbing her bag and threw some money onto the table, "For the beer and water." She said before calling herself a cab.

Larry carried Piper into the dorms, putting her down so she could look for her keys that were in her bag. She slouched against the wall instead, sliding down to the carpeted floor, she was crying. "I'm so sorry Larry, I'm so stupid." She hiccupped, finding her keys after a few minutes of hide and seek.

Larry nodded; he had taken his mask off awhile back. Piper looked up at him, standing slowly as he handed over her heels. "I don't love you." She whispered sadly. She wished that she could love him; he took care of her, and loved her even on the days when she couldn't even love herself. "I know." He said, taking her keys from her and opening the door for her. He kissed her hair, "I'm sorry too." She watched him walk away then, hoping that this would be the last time. He deserved better than what she could give him.

Alex had stayed up the whole night with Nicky who had vomited a consecutive seven times. "You know, drinking is not your strong suit." Alex told her, holding her hair back for her as she emptied her stomach once more. Nicky sat up, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, "Want a kiss Vause?" Alex chuckled, "No thanks, vomit isn't my kink." Nicky stood, "Then what is your kink huh, blondes?" Alex rolled her eyes. "Or just the one blonde?" Nicky continued as she washed her hands. Alex clenched her jaw, not enjoying the game that Nicky was playing. "Can we not talk about Piper?" she asked. Nicky smirked, "You said her name, not me."

Alex shook her head, "Whatever, I'll see you later." She made her way back to her dorm, flopping down on her bed, and crawled under the covers.


	7. Not a What but a Who

"But no one else heard

The weight of your words

Or felt the effect that they have on my mind

Falling

I know

'Cause I'd spend half this morning

Thinking about the t-shirt you sleep in."

-'T-Shirt' by Birdy

Piper propped her book up on her knee as she sat under a tree six days later. She hadn't spoken to Nicky since the day before and hadn't seen Alex since Halloween. The only person she had been talking to was Polly, and she was only there half of the time, spending the other half with Pete. Piper was grateful for the space though, she could finally read in peace without having to listen to Polly talk for hours on end about her biology professor. She didn't mind sharing a room with Polly most of the time, but as of late Piper could barely handle herself let alone anyone else breathing down her neck at all hours of the day.

She shook her head, turning the page of her book; she couldn't stop thinking about Alex. What she looked like wrapped around that fucking twig, and where her hands traveled while they danced. Piper swallowed, looking out at the people meandering around the campus, she knew that she had no right feeling the way she did about Alex, she couldn't even remember the one night they had spent together, she just wished she hadn't been drunk because something told her that she was the only one that was.

"Seriously Vause, have you even stepped foot out of the dorms since Friday?" Nicky asked from the door way. Alex was buried beneath a mountain of pillows and blankets, the shades drawn. "Go away Nicky, classes don't start until tomorrow." She grumbled into her pillow. Nicky looked on at her bed ridden friend, "Its Sunday Alex, just go get some air. If I come back and you're still in that bed, I'm going to drag you out myself." Nicky turned to leave when she heard Alex's muffled voice again, "Do you think she is thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about her?" Nicky shrugged before realizing Alex wasn't looking at her, "I don't know, maybe if you took your head out of your ass and talked to her, then maybe you'd know."

Alex rolled over once Nicky had left, realizing that she was in much need of fresh air. She supposed that she could save the short red head the trouble and drag herself out of bed. She figured that she could grab a coffee and read, stick to Mod's just to be safe. She wouldn't say that Piper staked claim to the tree, but she didn't want any accidental run-ins before she was ready, before she knew what she was going to say. Alex lost all sense of her words when she looked into those two oceans for eyes, the more she rehearsed her bullshit, the easier it would be for her to make it sound sentimental.

Alex settled down into the soft upholstery of the booth, leaning back against the wall and pulling her knees into her chest, she opened her book in hopes to rid her thoughts of Piper. She couldn't remember a time where she allowed someone to have such a hold on her. She never had a serious relationship before, and to be honest, she was afraid of them. She felt that if she was to be someone's girlfriend, she couldn't imagine liking it that much. She would be depended on, something that Alex wasn't used to. The sex would be good though, she wouldn't have to go looking for it in bars. Alex shook her head, imagining sex with Piper while alone in a café was the last thing she needed at the moment.

Piper headed back to her room, stopping in at Mod's first for a quick dinner. "Hey Melanie, can I have a bottle of water and a turkey melt please?" The short brunette nodded, "Coming right up." Piper waited patiently, turning to lean back against the counter and look out around the café. Her heart nearly stopped as it jumped into her throat at the sight of the beautiful woman sitting, tucked into the back of the room, hiding from curious eyes. Piper could easily imagine Alex having to beat women off with a stick. "One turkey melt and bottle of water." Piper turned, smiling at Melanie before taking her food, "Thanks." Melanie's hand lingered on her wrist, eyeing her, "Anytime Piper."

Piper debated on whether she should stay and eat or go back to her cave. If she stayed, would Alex see her, and if she saw her would she be expected to make small talk? Piper couldn't imagine small talk with Alex. She noticed that the taller woman was reading, she could go over and ask her about the book. She was afraid though that her face would show too much, that it would be obvious that books weren't what she wanted to talk about. She shook it off, turning towards the door and leaving. She couldn't talk to Alex, not now. What was she going to say, I've been thinking about you more than I have thought about anyone in my entire life? She figured that if she wanted to embarrass herself, running away would be enough.

She returned to her dorm, unwrapping her sandwich to find a phone number sharpied on the tin foil. Piper smirked at the sloppily written, Call Me. What more of a perfect way to get over someone by jumping into bed with someone else, right?

Alex closed her book as she watched Piper walk past the big window of Mod's. She looked to Melanie who was behind the counter, staring after the blonde too. Alex felt anger rise from her stomach, making her uneasy. She stood, taking her cup to the return bin; she had no right to feel jealous. Besides, Piper had never shown an interest in the brunette, and Melanie was a player after all. It wasn't too long ago that Alex had shared a night with Melanie horizontal.

She headed back to the dorms; maybe she could just stop by Piper's room, say hi. She would need a reason though, for her to go out of her way, past her own room and to go to Piper. It's not like she ran into her, she was going to her. She stopped at her door, maybe she could go over later once she had gotten her bearings.

A few hours later, Piper heard a knock at her door. She smirked, standing to open the door. "Melanie." She greeted. The short brunette smiled, "Hello Piper." Piper let her in to the room. "So I was thinking we could go to the pub? There's a band that's going to be playing there, called Side-Boob, terrible name but they're decent." Piper said, turning away from her vanity to face her date for the night who was a lot closer to her then she had realized.

Melanie reached up, pushing a hair out of the blonde's face, "Do we really need to go out tonight, because I know that I don't need any liquid confidence in my system." Piper swallowed, trying to focus on the person in front of her, pushing all thoughts of a taller, more beautiful woman from her mind. "Me neither." She whispered, pushing herself to forget, even if for just a little while. Melanie smirked, "Good." She leaned in, standing up on her tip toes to kiss Piper. Piper felt herself leaning into the kiss, closing her eyes and picturing it was a different pair of lips. She knew that it wasn't fair to Melanie, but she couldn't help it, the heart wants what the heart wants, even if it usually chooses to fuck up.

Alex paced the length of her room, her fists clenched into balls at her waist. She had to just do it, jump in with both feet instead of testing the waters so as to not get burned. If she wanted Piper, she just had to go to her and talk to her. Talking had always been Alex's strong suit, she could talk circles around just about anyone, but if you threw emotions into the mix, it was as if she was trying to paddle up a crick without any oars.

Piper was finally getting into the feathery touches that Melanie was giving her. The brunette sat atop her, straddling her waist as she kissed down Piper's neck. Piper had found herself becoming breathless, easing back into the thin mattress. It had been so long.

A knock at her door brought reality back, making Piper's eyes fly open. She wasn't so sure of what she was doing now; sex was no longer clouding her head. She practically threw Melanie off of her. She couldn't help but wonder who was knocking on her door. Polly was staying at Pete's, she supposed it could be Nicky, but she hadn't heard from her in a while, she was too busy with Lorna. She stood and moved over to the door, opening it to find the one face she had been wanting to see for the past week. "Alex."

Alex stood outside Piper's dorm, debating on whether or not she should just walk back to her room before it got awkward. She rolled her eyes at herself; Piper was probably just reading or something. She raised her hand and knocked. She stood there for what felt like an enormous amount of time before she answered the door. "Alex." The taller woman couldn't help but love how her name sounded rolling off of Piper's tongue. She suddenly became aware of the state that Piper's hair was in, disheveled as if fingers had been running through it, and her shirt was unbuttoned, showing off her bra. Alex swallowed, trying to focus anywhere but at Piper, which is why movement behind her caught her eye. "Hello Alex." Melanie said, now standing behind Piper.

Alex nodded, turning and walked at a fast pace past her room and out of the building, settling down under the tree outside. How could she have been so stupid? Of course Piper was over the whole situation, she was too drunk to remember that fucking night. Alex couldn't help but be jealous of Piper's drunkenness, she didn't have to lay awake at night, knowing what she tasted like, what she felt like, and what she sounded like when she came over and over again.

She was jealous of Melanie too, how she was more than likely enjoying Piper in ways that she had taken advantage of. She was sure that Piper was enjoying herself too; she didn't have to be drunk to be with Melanie. Alex fought the urge to cry, she was the one who threw herself at Piper, thinking that if she had fucked her, she would no longer be this fragile thing, what she wanted. That if she just hit it and quit it, the thought of her would no longer haunt her. Never did Alex think that instead of Piper being a what, she became a who, a person that she wanted to know, to be with. All of these emotions felt raw, and they scared her. Alex had never been so scared in her entire life.


	8. Lush

"It's always have and never hold

You've begun to feel like home

What's mine is yours to leave or take

What's mine is yours to make your own."

-'Look after You' by The Fray

Piper shut her door, leaning back against it and slid to the floor. Melanie stood over her, "Come on baby, come back to bed. I'll make you feel better, you'll forget all about her." Piper looked up at her with tired eyes, "That's the thing; I don't want to forget about her." Melanie looked at her, hands on her hips, "So what, you don't want me anymore?" Piper fidgeted, this was the last thing she needed. "Piper, I'm serious, was I just some sort of booty call?" Piper rolled her eyes as she ran her fingers through her hair, trying to flatten it out a bit. Melanie crouched down in front of her, placing her hands on the blonde's knees, "Baby, tell me what's wrong, let me take care of you." Piper felt rage bubble up into her throat, pushing Melanie's hands off of her and standing. "No, I am not your baby, you were a booty call, and I want you to forget that this ever happened!"

Melanie gapped as Piper pushed past her, miss-buttoning her shirt as she went. She couldn't care less about how she may have hurt the girl's feelings, she didn't know where Alex had gone, but she needed to find her before she lost her nerve.

Alex sat under the tree, their tree. She smiled at the memory of when Piper had slipped and called it that. Piper, how stupid Alex had been to think that she could have something with her. From what she knew, and that was only from what Nicky had told her, they couldn't be any different. She leaned back against the trunk, closing her eyes. She needed to move on and avoid Piper at all costs. She would have to transfer out of art history.

"Alex!" The raven haired girl jolted at the voice. Her eyes opened, quickly searching for the face that the voice belonged to. Piper jogged over to her as she stood. Alex sighed, not wanting to have any kind of conversation with her, just looking at her hurt. All she could think about was Melanie's head between her legs, kissing her in the most intimate way possible. Alex swallowed as Piper began to speak. "Alex, I am so sorry that you had to see that." Piper said it with such disdain, it made Alex want to hold her and tell her that she didn't need to apologize, that she was the one that should be asking for forgiveness. Instead, she shrugged, "For what? Piper, you can sleep with whoever you want, even if it's with the community chest. We're just friends remember?"

Piper stood before the taller woman, mouth slightly agape, "Friends, yeah that's not something I understand Alex, one minute you won't even look at me, and the next you're dangling a slut in front of my face trying to make me jealous." Alex smirked, "Jealous? That's what you thought I was trying to do on Halloween? Piper, has anyone ever informed you of the complete narcissist that you are?" Piper shook her head, "It's a self-diagnosed problem, anything else you want to throw at me to try and get me distracted from the real problem here?" Alex raised a brow, "Problem, what is that exactly?" Piper blinked, "You are afraid, you are lying to me, but more importantly, you are lying to yourself." Alex rolled her eyes, "Piper, there's a reason I don't read Nicholas Sparks, romance is bullshit, and sappy and completely a ticking time bomb!" Piper blocked her from leaving, pushing her back into the tree, keeping her hands on her shoulders, "Is it? It may be sappy, and vomit worthy, and completely going by an expiration date, but why do we care?" Alex rolled her eyes, looking to Piper's hands, "Get off of me." Piper shook her head, "Not until you accept my apology."

Alex huffed, stopping the struggle, "You have nothing to apologize for, I should be the one begging for your forgiveness." Piper searched the taller woman's face, "What are you talking about?" Alex looked away from the blonde, focusing on a crack in the sidewalk, "I ran away that morning, I left you in my bed alone because I was scared." "Scared of what?" Alex remained quiet, avoiding eye contact. Piper sighed, letting go of the taller woman, "Alex, I know I can't remember, and I regret not knowing what you do. You weren't drunk were you?"

"No." Alex said, moving around Piper before she grabbed her forearm, pulling her back. "You're running again, why?" Alex looked down at her, staring at her nose, which worked as a median between her eyes and her lips. "The things I felt that night, I've never felt that way before. You can't remember and it's like torture, knowing something you don't know, it's like a fucked up version of guess who." Piper wouldn't let go of Alex, she was afraid that if she did, Alex would leave, and this time she would be gone for good. "Then that's what I need to apologize for, but Alex, you don't need to run away from your feelings, it isn't healthy."

Alex nodded, "Says the one who jumps into bed with just about anyone to numb the pain of being ignored." Piper felt herself losing the battle, letting her go, "I didn't choose to be ignored Alex, it seems to me that you're your own worst enemy." She decided that she was going to be the one that left first this time, besides; she knew her ass looked good in those jeans she wore.

"It sounds to me like being a lesbian isn't all what it's cracked up to be, women can be just as stupid as men." Polly said, popping a grape into her mouth. Piper rolled her eyes, "Polly please, stop with the labels okay, and it's not like that, she cares more than she lets on. She's not stupid; she's just choosing to ignore her feelings, something she is apparently really good at." Polly nodded, "Right, so she has a temper and makes a point to avoid issues, you're perfect for each other." Piper bit her lip, "I shouldn't have walked away, I fucked it up. There is no way she's going to want to talk to me now, not after I threw her fear right into her face."

"Ah, I love the scent of coffee and the chatter of dyke drama in the morning." Nicky said as she neared their table. Piper turned to face the red head, "Save the sarcasm for another time Nichols, I'm really stressing here." Nicky rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I can see that. I swear I can't get away from your shit storm Chapman; I can't even stand to be in my own room right now. Alex won't shut the fuck up about you and how she hates herself." Piper's head shot up, "Is she still there, in your room I mean?" Nicky nodded, "She's skipped all of her morning classes so far, she won't crawl out of her fucking bed let alone try and function like a normal fucking human being." Polly snorted, "At least Piper talks, well that can be a blessing and a curse really." Nicky laughed. "Can you stop talking about me like I'm not here?" Polly looked to Nicky as they both burst out in laughter, "Whatever, have fun bashing me while I'm gone. I'm going to go fix something I should have fixed a long time ago."

Piper didn't bother to knock; she knew that if Alex was aware that she was outside the door, she would just tell her to go away. "Fuck off Nicky, if this is another one of your attempts to get me out of bed, you can forget about it and shove that idea up your ass to keep your head company." Piper fought the urge to laugh; Alex couldn't see her, her head was buried under her pillow, "Not even for a fresh brewed cup of caffeinated saving grace?" She said, shutting the door behind her. She watched the muscles beneath Alex's shirt still as her back straightened automatically, as if turning into stone, "What are you doing here?" Alex asked, sitting up. Piper stared at the girl, with her bed head and puffy red eyes, and couldn't help but want her more. "I thought you might want some coffee." She said, trying to ease the ever growing tension in the room.

Alex looked to the cup in Piper's hand before holding out a hand for it, "Thanks." She took a sip as Piper began her speech, "I think about you, a lot actually and I don't know how to tell you how I feel without being creepy because the one night we had together I can't even remember, but I can't keep tip toeing around the subject like its lava and my feelings are the pillows." Alex raised a brow, "I didn't realize you were such a poet." Piper sighed, "Alex, stop. Stop putting up this barrier between us, please." Alex stood, setting her coffee down on the nightstand, "I don't think you'd stay if I did, besides, why should I give you the chance to hurt me? I've been hurt enough by the people I cared about most." Piper felt a lump grow in her throat, "Alex, I would never choose to hurt you. I just want to talk to you, get to know you."

Piper dared to get closer, resting her hands on Alex's shoulders, "I don't want you to be afraid, because there's only enough room for one of us to be, and I think I have that covered." Alex placed her hand on top of Piper's, "I don't know if I can tell you the things you want to hear, I didn't grow up with money or anything close to it." Piper scoffed, "Is that what this is about? Alex, I don't care about any of that." The taller woman closed her eyes, forcing back the tears, "Okay, but I'm going to need a couple drinks if I'm going to tell you." Piper smiled weakly, "Of course."

The two women sat at the bar, Piper was drinking water while Alex nursed a scotch. "I am an only child; my mother had to work four jobs just to keep the heat on during the winter." Piper listened as Alex talked, she was heartbroken by the quake in her voice. "My father was this lousy fucktard of a man, played the drums for some band. I met him once, the first thing he did when he looked at me was to tell me that I had great tits." She refused to cry, she was putting Piper through enough having to listen to her, she didn't want her to have to see her snot all over the place too.

Piper smoothed her hand over Alex's, lacing her fingers with hers. "Aren't you going to drink something?" Alex asked her. Piper shook her head, "Nah, turns out I'm quite the lush." Alex smirked, "Really? I didn't know that about you." Piper swatted at her arm, "Shut up."


	9. Homer Was Full Of Shit

"I'm weak in the knees for you

But I'll stand if you want me to

Ohh, my legs are strong and I move on

But honey I'm weak in the knees..."

-'Weak in the Knees' by Serena Ryder

A week later Piper sat beside Alex on her bed, Polly was at Pete's and Nicky had been sleeping off her hangover. "What do you mean you don't like Poe?" Alex asked Piper in astonishment. The blonde shrugged, "I don't know, I just feel like he's too doom and gloom." Alex rolled her eyes, "Yes, but its genius, the man's torment was unbelievable, I mean his adoptive mother and cousin/wife both died from tuberculosis. His life was tragic, which makes his writing so beautiful." Piper stared at her through all of this in complete awe. Alex smirked, "You might want to wipe the drool off of your chin and pick your jaw up off the ground." Piper rolled her eyes, "I wasn't staring." Alex nodded, "Uh huh, sure." Piper shoved her slightly, "Ok, maybe I was." Alex eyed Piper suspiciously, "Stop flirting with me." Piper raised her hands in defense, "I didn't say anything!" "No, but you were thinking it." Alex said, smirking. "Oh, so what you can read minds?" "I can do a lot of things." Alex said, teasing her. Piper swallowed as Alex continued, "The trick is to not wear your emotions on your face like a canvas." Piper grinned, sitting back against the wall, placing her feet in Alex's lap, "But then I'd have to tell you how I feel." Alex frowned, "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to." Piper rolled her eyes, "When are you going to accept that I'm here because I want to be?"

Alex began to massage Piper's feet, "When you don't go running and screaming like your ass is on fire." Piper sighed, "Well I do have a hot ass." Alex smirked, "Want to go to the pub tonight, grab a drink? I hear Side-Boob is gonna be there." Piper scrunched up her nose, "I thought they sucked?" Alex grinned, "They do." Piper raised a brow, leaning into Alex, "I don't want to be drunk this time around; I want to remember what you feel like, taste like." She leaned in closer, she had Alex eating out of the palm of her hand, "I don't want to wake up in a bed and not remember the events that had gotten me there. I want to be able to look at you and feel joy instead of a hangover. I don't want you to run anymore." Piper leaned in, her lips almost brushing Alex's, "If I'm kissing you, I want you to know that I'm kissing you and only you, not some fucked up version of you that I created in my head, because that has never been the case with you Alex. I've only ever been able to see you; you're all I want to see." She pulled back suddenly before Alex could close the space between their lips, "But not yet." Alex's eyes opened, "You are such a tease!"

Piper laughed, "Admit it, you don't hate it." Alex crossed her arms over her chest, "Doesn't mean I like it either." The blonde chuckled some more, folding her legs beneath herself, "How does a picnic sound?" Alex raised a brow, "A picnic?" Piper nodded, standing up, "With candles and sparkling grape juice, we'll talk about books and movies, and maybe just maybe a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night." Alex rolled her eyes, "What, like a date your fifteen year old self never had?" Piper smirked, "You'll see, now shoo." She motioned for her to leave, "I have to get everything ready." Alex rolled her eyes, "Anything you want me to do?" Piper shook her head, smiling, "Just to bring yourself, and a more cheerful attitude."

Alex had her face buried in her book, trying to busy herself while she waited for time to pass; she still had half an hour before she was supposed to go meet Piper. She had already fixed her hair five different times and her makeup twice. She heard a quiet knocking at her door as she stood, wobbling slightly on her heels. She opened the door just to get a bouquet of daisies thrusted into her face. "Daisies?" Alex asked, curiously. Piper smiled, "What, they're the friendliest flower!" Alex couldn't help but frown at the use of the word 'friend'. Piper rolled her eyes, "I'm kidding, they were out of roses." Alex's smile returned, "Who said I like flowers?" Piper smirked, "No one ever said you didn't, now come on, dinner will get cold." Alex raised a brow, "I thought we weren't meeting for another thirty minutes?"

Piper shrugged, "I wanted to surprise you." Alex chuckled, "Well you did, now let's go."

"No peaking." Piper said, placing her hands over Alex's eyes, walking them towards the field. It was a few blocks from campus with soft green grass; she had set up a blanket underneath a tree with candles all around ready to be lit. Piper finally took her hands away from Alex's face, "No peaking, it's not ready yet!" Alex stood still, her eyes still closed as Piper raced over to the blanket to light all of the candles. She brushed her hands off on her jeans, standing, "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

Alex's mouth dropped open when she saw how beautiful everything was. "This is amazing." She said. Piper grinned, "Well, I try." Alex moved over to the blanket, "You're amazing." She whispered, running her hands down Piper's arms before gripping both of her hands, "Don't make me regret letting you back in." Piper smiled slightly, "I don't want you to worry about that, let's just focus on tonight." Alex nodded, sitting down with her, "So what are we having?"

"I had a great time." Alex said as they both stood outside of her door. Piper grinned, "Me too." Alex cleared her throat, "So about that kiss on the cheek, do you think we can upgrade it?" Piper raised a brow, "It could be considered." Silence fell over them as they stared at one another. "Listen Alex, I really like you and I don't want to fuck things up by going too fast." Alex rolled her eyes, "Please, we're moving at a snail's pace, you don't have to worry about me, this part I'm good at." She leaned in, kissing her lips sweetly. Piper sighed into Alex's mouth as her tongue begged for entrance when Alex pulled back, "And I believe that's the ending to our perfect first date." She winked before opening her door and leaving Piper alone in the hallway.

Alex shut the door, sliding down it and onto the floor. "Wow, look at you, all in love and shit." Nicky said as she stared at her from her bed. Alex shook her head, "I am not in love with her." The red head nodded, "Right, you're just in like with her, my apologies." Alex smirked, pondering the thought, "So what if I was?" Nicky grinned, "It would be the first time you didn't lie to me about it." Alex stood, moving over to her bed, "Good night Nicky." "Night, Vause."

"So how was last night?" Polly asked Piper over coffee the next morning. The blonde smiled down at her mug, "Amazingly wonderful." Polly raised a brow, "Well sex with a superhot chick will do that to you." Piper rolled her eyes, "We didn't have sex, we just talked." "Talked?" Polly asked, stirring her tea. Piper nodded, "Yeah, we talked about Pulp Fiction and had another heated debate on whether Homer was full of shit when he wrote the Iliad." Polly shook her head, "Nerds." Piper continued to grin, "Sorry we have better things to do then jump each other." "Oh please, you would if you could." Polly countered, setting her spoon down on a napkin.

Piper shrugged, "We're taking things slow, especially after last time." She took a sip of her drink, "Besides what's so wrong with getting to know the person you're dating?" Polly shrugged, "It's just not like you is all." Piper scoffed, "People change." "Apparently." Polly said as she took notice to Nicky and Alex coming through the door.

Alex sat down beside Piper, leaving Nicky to cozy on up to Polly. Piper felt fingers ghost over her hand that was on her thigh, lacing their fingers together. She smiled into her coffee as Nicky rolled her eyes, "No offense, but the two of you makes me want to kick my own head in." Alex smirked, "Speaking of, how's Lorna doing, you haven't mentioned her in a while." Nicky shrugged, "She's fine, I'm meeting up with her tonight for drinks, want to come?" She looked between Piper and Alex as they both said in unison, "No thanks."


	10. Meet the Parents

"If I could, then I would

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low

I'll go wherever you will go"

-'Wherever You Will Go' by Charlene Soraia

"Get in the fucking fort!" Alex said, pretending to be irritated. Piper sat on Alex's bed, working on her homework, "Or what?" she asked, looking up through her lashes. Alex poked her head out from beneath the hanging blanket, "I won't kiss you for the rest of the day." Piper snorted, "Now we both know you can't hold to that, I'm too cute remember?" Alex rolled her eyes, not wanting to whine, "Come on, I've been working on this for the past hour, you can do your homework in here." Piper shook her head, "No, because if I go in there, I won't do my work." Alex grinned, "I'm that irresistible huh?" Piper bit her lip, looking back down at her notebook, "No, you're just that much of a pain in my ass." "And what a lovely ass it is." Alex said from her spot on the floor. Piper picked up a pillow and threw it at her, "Seriously, I need to get this done." Alex nodded, crawling towards the bed and snatching Piper's notebook, diving under the fort. She let out a laugh as the blonde huffed, "Real mature, stealing my shit just to get my attention, what are you a cat?"

Alex smirked, knowing she couldn't see her, "I purr only for you baby." Piper blushed as she climbed off of the bed and ducked beneath the blanket ceiling of the fort, "Happy?" "Very." Alex rose up off of her elbows and kissed the tip of her girlfriend's nose. Piper shook her head, "I hate that you're so cute, how am I ever going to get things done with you around?" Alex smirked, "You knew fully well that you weren't going to get any work done when you came over." Piper leaned back on the pillows as Alex flopped down next to her. "I have a proposition for you." The taller woman said.

Piper wrapped a piece of Alex's hair around her finger, "I'm listening." Alex smirked, "So, I know that winter break isn't for another month, but I was wondering, my Aunt hates me but my Uncle loves me, and they have this old cabin up in Vermont that they don't use, thought we could go and invite everyone else to come with us." Piper thought for a moment as she twirled Alex's hair, "Ok deal, but then you have to come with me to my family's Thanksgiving." Alex rolled onto her side to face her, "Deal, but then you have to spend the rest of the weekend at my mom's." Piper grinned, "Deal." Alex kissed her, "Look at us; making compromises like real life adults." Piper smiled, "I'm sure Pete will love being the only man there."

"Do you have everything ready?" Piper asked into her phone as she raced around her dorm room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. She was nervous about her family meeting Alex, she was nervous about meeting her mom, and she was nervous in general about sleeping in the same bed as Alex and having to keep her hands to herself. She didn't particularly want their first time sober to be where family ears could hear.

"Yeah, stop worrying and come get me before you pull all of your hair out." Alex said on the other side of the phone. "Problem?" Nicky asked from her spot on her bed, skimming through a magazine. "Piper's just worrying is all." Alex said as she hung up the phone and picked up her duffle bag. "Well wait until you meet her mom." Nicky said, not looking up from the page. "Why, what's her mom like?" Alex asked, starting to sound skeptical. Nicky shrugged, "Oh Carol, yeah she and I don't exactly meet eye to eye, but just imagine all of Piper's worst flaws amplified to the third degree and you have that doll faced bitch." Alex raised a brow, "Doll faced?" Nicky nodded, turning the page, "Yeah, you should see her makeup, and she has these like beady little eyes, she gives me the creeps." Alex fought the urge to laugh as she heard the door open, turning to find Piper standing in the doorway with Polly standing behind her, "Take her please before she starts ripping my hair out." The brunette said before turning and leaving. Alex looked to Piper who was currently biting her nails and fidgeting from one foot to the other. "Yeah, have fun with that." Nicky mumbled as Alex and Piper both left.

"Ok, just don't take anything she says too seriously, and she thinks that this is a phase that I'm going through, liking girls and all, but it's not and if she says anything hurtful just brush it off." Piper went on and on, prepping Alex on meeting her mother. Alex nodded, rubbing Piper's arm, "Babe, it's okay, I'm not going anywhere." Piper sighed heavily, sagging her shoulders slightly, "Don't say I didn't warn you." She turned and knocked on the door.

"Piper, darling you don't have to knock; you lived here once too you know." They were greeted with a plastic fake smile from none other than Carol Chapman. "Mom, this is Alex Vause, my girlfriend." Piper said, introducing her mother. Alex put her hand out to shake as Carol eyed it before saying, "Yes well, it is a bit chilly out, why don't you girls come inside, your father's in the study." Piper nodded, walking into the large and empty foyer. Alex dropped her hand, following the blonde inside as they headed down a hallway, entering the last room on the left. "Daddy, you really need to put a leash on her." Piper said in greeting. Bill Chapman swiveled in his chair to face his daughter, "Now you and I both know that your mother would never wear a collar unless it was adorn in diamonds." Piper grinned as she hugged her father. "Pippy, how's my favorite girl?" Alex raised a brow as Piper smiled standing up, "I'm doing great Daddy, there's someone I'd like you to meet." Bill looked around his daughter to see the tall woman standing awkwardly in the doorway, "Ah yes, the wonderful Alex." He stood, walking over to her and shaking her hand, "I apologize for anything my wife has done to you already." Alex smiled, "It's alright sir, I'm just glad to be here with your daughter." Bill smiled lightly, "Yes well if my daughter likes you, I'm sure I will too."

Piper looked between the two of them before saying, "I'm going to go find Cal, I'll be right back." She touched Alex's elbow before leaving the room. She found him in the kitchen with his mother and another woman. "Cal." She greeted as she came over to stand in front of him. "Hey Pipes, this is Neri, my girlfriend." Piper smiled, shaking the girl's hand. "It's nice to meet you Neri." Carol stood over the counter, arguing into her phone, "Yes Celeste we're waiting on you, you're the one that has the food after all."

Piper rolled her eyes as she turned back to face Cal. "So how've you been?" He asked her. "I'm good, there's someone here I'd like for you to meet, her name's Alex." He smiled, nodding. Piper was about to lead him towards the study when her mother spoke up, "Piper can you help me with this wine bottle? It won't open." Piper nodded, walking over to wear Carol stood. She took the bottle from her, tugging on the corkscrew. "Piper, I hope this is just a phase with that girl, what ever happened to that nice boy you were dating?" Piper shook her head, "His name is Larry, he and I broke up back in August, you know that, and that girl's name is Alex and I love her." Carol scoffed, "Please, love is such a silly thing; you and him could be back together by Christmas when you come and visit." Piper spoke up, "Yeah, about that, I'm not coming home for Christmas." Carol nearly choked on her water, "What do you mean, of course you're coming home for the holidays."

Piper shook her head, pulling out the cork with a pop, "No mom I'm not, Alex's uncle has a cabin in Vermont, and all of us are going to go up there for the week." Carol rolled her eyes, taking two wine glasses out of the cabinet. Piper reached up grabbing another one for her girlfriend, she could feel Carol glaring at her. "Polly's going to be there?" Piper nodded, "Yes, and you need to get over this whole act, okay, I'm your daughter and I'm not perfect nor do I want to be." Carol shook her head, "I never said I wanted you to be perfect." Piper poured two of the three glasses, "Could've fooled me." She said as she picked up the glasses and left the room.

"So Alex, you're not planning on breaking my little girl's heart are you?" Bill asked. Alex's eyes widened, "No, no of course not." "Do you love her?" he continued as he skimmed his bookshelf, as if looking for something. Alex gulped, "Yes, but I haven't told her yet." He nodded, turning to face her, "Yes well, she loves you, a father can tell that much." Alex bit her lip as she heard Piper's voice, "Well look at that, my two favorite people in the whole world talking it up like old pals." Alex turned to find the blonde walking towards her, kissing her on the cheek and handing her a glass of wine. "Everything alright?" Alex asked, catching an irritated tone in her voice. Piper nodded, "I'd like you to meet my brother Cal and his girlfriend Neri." She turned towards the doorway to find a male version of her girlfriend and a brunette. "Hello, I'm Alex." She said, holding her hand out to shake.

Cal pushed her hand out of the way and pulled Alex into a big bear hug. "Cal, please." Piper said. Alex laughed, "It's okay Pipes." Cal pulled back, his hands still on her shoulders, looking into her face, "You did good sis, bringing home a looker." Piper grinned, "As did you." Alex shook Neri's hand as they all stood around the room. The front door slammed shut and you could feel a storm brewing, "Grandmother must be here." Cal said with a smirk.


	11. Not One of Us

"You know you're an expert at complicating things

That's how I'm wired, believe me it's no fun

But you make a war seem like such an easy game

Kiss me and my arguments come undone

Down in the trenches, you are the white flag

Make me surrender

Want you so bad

Baby don't stop what you started

Don't ever be done, oh"

-'Medicine' by Shakira and Blake Shelton

"Dinner's ready!" Cal bellowed as they all came into the dining room. Piper yanked Alex down into the seat beside her. There was a beat of an awkward silence before Carol spoke up, "Alex, maybe you'd like to lead grace?" Piper's jaw clenched, holding Alex's hand tightly in her lap. "Mom." She warned. Carol shrugged, "I just thought it'd be nice to include your friend." Celeste spoke up then, "Oh shut the fuck up Carol, this is between you and Piper, leave her girlfriend out of it." Everyone looked to the older woman as she smiled big. Cal burst out laughing before saying, "I'll do the grace."

Piper left Alex in the safety of Cal's watchful eye in the den, and decided to help her mother clean up dinner. "Nice of you to let Anita have the day off." She said as she carried in a pile of dishes. "Never understood why we needed a maid to begin with." She continued. Carol scoffed, "Don't be petty Piper; I always give Anita the holidays off." Piper bit her tongue from saying anymore. "I can't believe your grandmother, like mother like son I suppose though." Piper shook her head, "She was just trying to enjoy dinner without you ruining it." Carol's jaw dropped, "Don't talk to me like that." Piper chuckled, "Oh I'm sorry, you're my mother so it doesn't matter whether or not you disrespect my girlfriend."

Carol shook her head, "That girl isn't good enough for you, she isn't one of us." Piper nodded, "You mean someone like you, I'm happy that she doesn't have your approval, it means I'm doing something right." Piper turned on her heel and left the room, heading into the den, "I can't stay a minute longer. I'm sorry Dad but it's going to be awhile before I can step foot back in this house." She leaned down, kissing each of her family members goodbye and nodding to Neri before grabbing Alex's hand and leaving.

She broke down in the car, so pissed off that she was pissed off and now crying. Alex drove, trying to give Piper the silence that she needed as she drove towards New York. Piper sighed heavily in her seat, "I am so sorry for everything, I shouldn't have made you come with me." Alex shook her head, "Piper, its fine, really, and I wanted to come with you." Piper looked up at her girlfriend, tears blurring her vision, "How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?" Alex smirked, "Stop it, flattery will get you everywhere." Piper raised a brow, "Everywhere?" Alex took notice to Piper unbuckling her seatbelt, "What are you doing?" they were on an empty road in the country; there was nothing in sight for miles. Piper smiled, "Pull over."

Alex did as she was told, keeping the car running for the heat. Piper climbed over the middle, plopping herself into Alex's lap and kissed her roughly, her tongue immediately begging for entry. The brunette complied, kissing her back. Alex didn't notice what Piper's actual goal was until she started fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. She grabbed Piper's hand, stopping her, "Pipes, I don't want our first time sober together to be in a car on the side of the road in Hickville." Piper continued to kiss down Alex's neck as she spoke, causing her to moan slightly. Alex pushed her back into the steering wheel, "Piper, I'm serious." The blonde's eyes started to cloud with tears again, "You don't want me?" Alex's heart broke watching her fall apart, "No, Pipes I want you more than anything, I just think after last time, you and I both deserve a better situation to make love in." Alex could tell Piper was still wary so she grabbed her hand, holding it over her heart, she couldn't believe what she was about to say, "Do you feel that? It only beats for you." Piper smiled, "Hurlmark much?" Alex grinned, kissing her lips, "Worth a shot."

Piper went to climb back into the passenger seat, but couldn't, "Al, I think I may be stuck." Alex raised a brow, a smile creeping onto her face, "Stuck?" Piper nodded, biting her lip, "I think my shirt's stuck on the steering wheel." Alex smirked, "Then I guess you're going to have to take it off." Piper gulped, feeling as if butterflies were bludgeoning one another in the pit of her stomach. Now nervous, her hands shook as she went to unbutton her shirt. Alex searched Piper's face, realizing that she had never looked so beautiful, "Here, let me help you." Her once sturdy hands shook when she finally released Piper of her shirt. "Thanks." Piper said, climbing out of Alex's lap. Alex swallowed, taking in Piper's unclad torso, almost having a heart attack at the sight of her in a lacy bra, if only Piper's hand was still over her heart, she would be able to feel it ramming against her chest. Alex unhooked the shirt and handed it to her before putting the car back into gear.

It was around midnight when they reached Alex's mother's house. She knew her mom would still be awake, even if Piper wasn't. Alex smiled at the sleeping form beside her in the passenger seat before cutting off the ignition and climbing out of the car. She headed up to the house alone first, letting her mother know that she was going to take Piper to bed. Diane Vause was a woman that worked her entire life, haggard and worn she still carried herself as if she was not a day over 25. As much as it was difficult, she loved her life, and more importantly her daughter. "Alex." She greeted when she opened the door. Alex hugged her, breathing in her mother's scent of perfume and cigarette smoke.

Alex's house was considerably smaller than Piper's, making her nervous. Her mother kept everything clean though, she even smoked outside so the scent of nicotine didn't linger. "Piper's asleep in the car, I'm just going to carry her up to my room and put her to bed real quick." Alex said as she jutted her thumb behind her in the direction of her car. Diane nodded, smiling, "I can't wait to meet this girl you're so in love with." Alex glared daggers at her mom, "I haven't told her yet." Diane's face screwed up in confusion, "And why the fuck not? You don't live forever Alex." The tall brunette grinned at her mother's view on things, "It's a long story, one that definitely needs to be told over a drink, preferably of the alcoholic variety." Diane winked, turning to head back into the house, searching for that specific drink no doubt.

Alex walked the short distance back to her car, opening the passenger door. Piper didn't stir as Alex bent down to lift her girlfriend into her arms. She would come back for their bags later. She carried her into the back of the house, opening the door to her old bedroom, and laid her down on the twin bed. She pulled off the blonde's shoes and laid a blanket over her, kissing her forehead before heading back out into the living room to talk with her mom. "Well she certainly is pretty Alex." Diane said as she poured both of them a drink. "Yeah, well she's even more beautiful when she's awake."


	12. I Am Not Cute

"I will follow you down wherever you go

I am, baby, I'm bound to you and do you know?

Closer, pull me in tight

I wanna be yours, wanna be your hero."

-'Empire' by Shakira

Piper woke the next morning in a room she had never seen before. She heard laughter come from somewhere in the house as she slowly sat up, looking around the room to detect where she was. There were posters on the wall of old 80s bands, a corkboard adorn with ticket stubs to movies and concerts, and an old wooden desk that sat in front of a window covered with old spiral notebooks. Piper smirked, standing. Her bag was by the door, she figured that she would find the bathroom and shower really quick before meeting Alex's mom.

Alex sat with her mom at the kitchen table. "So Alex, how did you and Piper meet?" Alex shrugged, not finding their meeting all too significant, "In art history, I saw her looking at me, and again an hour later in a café so I dropped a note near her table, asking her to meet me under a tree to talk." Diane smirked, "Like mother like daughter, going after what she wants." Alex chuckled, "Yeah I guess so." She watched as her mom looked behind her, her face spreading into a big grin. Alex quickly looked behind her to find Piper standing in the door way, her hair still wet from the shower. Diane rolled her eyes, "Jesus Alex, stop balking and get breakfast started." Piper smiled nervously as Diane made her way over to her. "Hello Ms. Vause, I'm Piper Chapman, your daughter's girlfriend." Diane smirked an all too familiar smirk, "I know who you are dear, and please, all me Diane." She pulled Piper into a bone crushing hug, knowing fully well that if Alex was brave enough to bring this girl home, that she was special.

Alex excused herself after breakfast to get a shower as Diane and Piper continued to talk about anything and everything, mostly about school. Diane checked to make sure Alex was out of ear shot, "Want to see some of Alex's baby pictures?" Piper smiled, "Sure that sounds great." Diane stood, going into the living room for a moment before bringing back a heavily stuffed photo album, "Here, you can look at these while I clean up." Piper moved to stand, "I can help." Diane shook her head, shoving the album into the blonde's hands, "Nonsense, you relax, I heard you had a rough day yesterday." Piper nodded, feeling herself begin to blush, "I'm sorry about that, my mother isn't the most welcoming person." Diane shrugged, "Just don't ever leave me in a room with her." Piper nodded, smiling, "Noted."

Alex hadn't slept at all the night before, staying up until the early morning with her mother, and then trying to curl up next to Piper, but she tossed and turned, not wanting to wake Piper, she had slipped back out of bed and read until her mother woke. Now she was practically falling asleep in the shower.

She quickly toweled off and got dressed, not wanting to leave her mom with Piper for too long; who knows her mother could have gotten out the baby pictures. At that thought, Alex's eyes widened as she rushed out into the kitchen to see Piper and Diane smiling over photos of her as a kid. "Mom!" Alex whined, standing with her hands on her hips. Diane looked up grinning, "Oh Alex, stop it." Piper chuckled, "Alex, you were so cute, what happened?" The tall brunette rolled her eyes, leaning into the door jam, "Please, I'm better than cute." Piper winked at her before going back to the album. Alex sighed heavily, sitting down across from them and put her head into her folded arms. When Diane started to hear the tell-tale signs of Alex beginning to fall asleep she kicked her daughter's leg, "Alex, did you sleep at all last night?" Alex kept her head down, shaking her head. Diane sighed, "Neither did I, why don't you go take a nap, that's what I'm going to do. I'll get up later and make dinner."

Once Diane left, Piper stood, shutting the photo album and placing it in the middle of the table. "Come on Al, let's get you to bed." Piper said, pulling Alex up by the arm. The taller woman sleepily followed her to her old bedroom and laid down on the bed. Piper crawled up next to her, resting her head on her chest. "I like your mom; she's so nice, nothing like my own." Piper whispered into Alex's shirt. The brunette rubbed circles on the small of the blonde's back, "I liked your dad and brother, and of course Celeste." Piper grinned, giggling, "That was great wasn't it?" Alex smiled, "I've never had a woman over sixty defend me before." Piper looked up at her, "Well now you have." Then she kissed her chin, laying her head back down. "I just wish my mother didn't hate the woman I loved." Piper froze, realizing what she had just said. She felt Alex stiffen, "You love me?" Piper closed her eyes, wishing that she could eat her words, "Busted." Alex smirked, pulling Piper up to face her, "I love you too."

Piper looked shocked, "You do?" Alex smiled, "More than anything, in fact I am so in love with you that I wish that we were alone right now so that I could show you." Piper bit her lip, "We can be quiet." Alex raised a brow as she smirked, "You are really loud, and I love it, but it's different for college students to hear it then my mother. I know you can't remember, but you moaned, a lot." Piper shoved her, "You just have that effect on me I guess." Alex kissed her then, not seeing the harm in a nice and long make out session.

Alex woke up with her face pressed into Piper's stomach; she could feel the blonde's fingers tracing designs on her back. Piper felt Alex stir, "Good evening star shine." Alex rolled over onto her back, looking up at her, "Hi." Piper giggled, "Hi." Alex sat up, "What time is it?" Piper smiled, "7:30." Alex's eyes widened, "At night?" Piper nodded. "Why would you let me sleep that long?" The blonde shrugged, "You were too cute to wake up." Alex rolled her eyes, "I am not cute." Piper shook her head, "You're right, you're adorable." Alex rolled her eyes, "Is my mom up?" Piper nodded, "Came to check on us twice, says dinner will be ready at eight."

Alex stood up slowly, "I should go and check to see if she needs any help." Piper grabbed her arm, "She knew you'd say that." Alex turned, "Oh yeah?" Piper nodded as Alex asked, "What did she say?" Piper smirked, "She said that if you tried to help her that I should grab onto your leg and forbid you from leaving the room until eight." Alex rolled her eyes, "Are you going to grab my leg?" Piper grinned, "If that's what it takes."

"Dinner was wonderful Diane, thank you." Piper said as she helped her clean up the table. Alex was outside taking a call from Nicky. "No, thank you Piper." Diane said, not bothering to look up as she washed dishes. Piper took a plate from her to dry, "For what?" she asked, not understanding why Alex's mother was thanking her, they had just met. "For loving my daughter, she deserves someone like you." Piper smiled, blushing slightly, "Well, it's easy; your daughter is an amazing woman." Diane chuckled, "You don't need to tell me that, I raised her, not a day had gone by that Al didn't teach me something about not only being a mother, but how to be a better person." Piper smiled, "She does tend to do that, make you want to be better that is." She agreed. Diane smiled, turning off the sink, "She is quite the charmer though, I just hope you help her keep in a straight line." Piper raised a brow, "What do you mean?"

Diane shrugged, drying off her hands, "Alex does what she wants, sometimes she wants something so much that she doesn't think about what it could do to her." Piper thought immediately of their first night from nearly three months ago now, she wanted Piper so much that she didn't think about what that night would do to her. Piper sighed, looking towards the back door where Alex had disappeared out of. "So I've noticed." She said absent mindedly. Diane nodded, beginning to make coffee, "Just look out for her, make sure she doesn't work too hard. Ever since she had met her father, she feels like she needs to be this bigger person, to do great things, I just don't want her to fall in the process." Piper nodded, "I don't plan on going anywhere, as long as I'm around, I can promise you that Alex will have the life she deserves." Diane smiled, hugging Piper than. "Thank you." She whispered to the blonde. Piper had never had an affectionate mother, but she figured that this is what it felt like to have someone love you so much, that they would give up their responsibility to the person their kid loved most. Diane was putting the cards in Piper's hands now; she just hoped that she never has to fold.

Piper found Alex in the backyard, sitting at a small table, turning her phone around and around in a circle on the surface. "What did Nicky have to say?" Piper said, breaking Alex from her reverie. "Hey, babe." Alex greeted her. Piper smiled, loving the nickname. "Everything alright?" Piper asked. The taller woman nodded, "Yeah, Nicky got me a job at the library." Piper nodded, moving closer to her, "Then why the sad face?" Alex pulled her down into her lap, hugging her closely, "I got a text earlier from a random number, and apparently I have a half-brother."


	13. PDA and TV Dinners

"I used to ride around

I didn't wanna settle down

But now I wake each day

Looking for a way that I can see your face."

-'Somebody to You' by The Vamps

Piper nodded, moving closer to her, "Then why the sad face?" Alex pulled her down into her lap, hugging her closely, "I got a text earlier from a random number, and apparently I have a half-brother."

Piper leaned back slightly to look at Alex's face, searching for a reaction, "And that made you sad?" she asked. Alex shrugged, "It means that I have another connection to that fuck head." Piper knew that Alex was referring to her father. Alex sighed, "The text was from my so called brother, his name is Jack, says he just found out about me and wants to meet me." Piper smiled, "Well that's good right?" Alex shrugged again, smiling slightly, "It could be." Piper kissed her chin, "It will be, and if it isn't, you still have me." Alex smiled, leaning up and kissing her soundly.

"Have a safe ride back." Diane said as she kissed her daughter and then hugged Piper goodbye. "We will." Piper said as she climbed into the car. Diane held Alex back, "You better take care of her Alexandra, she loves you, let her. I know you are keeping something from me, about your father, but don't keep shit from her. If I find out you let her go, I'm going to kick your fucking ass, and then I'm going to kick her ass, and then I'm going to kick yours again." Alex chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest, "You done threatening me?" Diane smacked Alex upside the head playfully, "I just want you to be happy kid, stop fucking it up for yourself." Alex nodded, smiling, "Yes ma'am."

"What was that all about?" Piper asked as Alex settled into the driver's seat. Alex shrugged, "Just making sure I don't make you leave me running and screaming." Piper rolled her eyes, kissing Alex's temple, "I'm not going anywhere, you'd have to beat me off with a stick first and even then all of the bruises would be worth it." Alex looked to her, smirking, "Sap." Piper chuckled, "You only have yourself to blame." Alex chuckled, "Believe me, I already am." Piper kissed her again before saying, "Let's go home." Alex smiled; she knew that Piper was becoming her home away from home. No matter what was happening, if Piper was by her side, she knew that could handle anything.

When they returned to Smith, Piper didn't even make it to her own dorm, passing out beside Alex on her bed. They were awoken by Nicky the next morning when she returned home after what could only be assumed as a long night with strong liquor. Nicky took one look at the couple who were tangled around each other's limbs and said, "Ugh, okay you two are disgusting, like two little puppies, too cute for their own good." Piper woke first, her hair stuck to the side of her face, "Sorry." Alex leaned up onto her elbow beside the blonde, looking at the disheveled red head who was only carrying one shoe; the other was nowhere to be seen. "I'm not." She clarified as she continued to look at Nicky puzzled.

Nicky rolled her eyes, "Course not Vause, you're as vile as they come." Alex smirked, flopping back onto the bed, wrapping an arm around a sleepy Piper, pulling her closer. "No seriously, it makes me want to smash both of your heads in, or mine, whichever is faster." "Absolutely hysterical." Alex said to the ceiling. Nicky shut the door, dropping her bag and her one shoe on the floor by her bed. "Well I'd be here all week if you two would come up for air once in a while. I mean I'm all for a peep show, but you guys are just a little much. I mean if I had a nickel for every time one of you said I love you, I wouldn't be drowning in student loans the way I am."

Alex chuckled, "What happened to your other shoe?" Nicky smirked, "On the way back from the pub a guy catcalled at Lorna so I took my shoe off and threw it at him." Alex raised a brow, "Did you hit him?" Nicky rolled her eyes, "Would I have thrown it if I knew I couldn't?" Alex nodded, "Touché, now go take an aspirin and get some sleep, classes don't start until tomorrow." Nicky saluted her with her middle finger before going to the cabinet where they kept their medicines. Alex smiled down at Piper who had managed to fall back asleep on her chest. She kissed her hair before drifting off herself.

A few weeks later Alex sat with Nicky in Mod's, both sipping from huge mugs of coffee. "So when are you going to ask her?" Alex shrugged, "I figured that I could ask while we're at the cabin." Nicky nodded, "Cute." Alex smiled as she saw Piper come in with Lorna. "Hey baby." Piper greeted Alex as she slid into her side of the booth. Nicky kissed Lorna lightly on the lips before she settled in as well. "So what movie are we going to go see?" Piper asked innocently. Nicky smirked, "I don't know about you kid, but I'm not going to be paying much attention to the movie." Lorna swatted her arm as they all laughed. Alex noticed that Piper's face was red. "What's wrong?" she whispered into the blonde's ear. Piper shivered from hearing Alex's husky voice so close to her. Piper gulped whispering back, "Are we going to be watching the movie?"

Alex chuckled, "I don't know, are we?" Piper shrugged, "Depending on what movie it is."

"So the movie was good." Piper said awkwardly as they walked down the street. Nicky laughed, "Yeah, sure from the five minutes that we actually saw before getting thrown out for PDA." Alex shrugged, "Old people man, they're just jealous." Lorna giggled, "I just wish they hadn't caught Nicky between my legs, that was embarrassing." Piper nodded as she looked to Alex, they had only simply made out, they hadn't decided to have sex just yet. Piper had a feeling Alex was waiting until winter break.

"So Alex, when are we leaving again?" Nicky asked as they walked a little further. Alex swung her and Piper's clasped hands back and forth, "Friday night, around seven pm. We'll get there around one am." They all nodded in acknowledgment, all too excited for the vacation. "So who all is coming again?" Lorna asked. Piper spoke up, "Just the four of us and Polly and Pete." Nicky grinned, "Gotta love Pete." Lorna raised a brow, "What's so great about Pete?" Nicky chuckled, "He keeps Super Bitch away from me while she's sober. I can only handle her when she's near past out drunk."

"Babe, have you seen my shirt?" Piper asked from her closet. "Which one?" Alex asked as she lay back on the blonde's bed, staring at the ceiling. "The blue one that has the gold glittery stripes on it." Alex thought for a moment, "I think it's in my room." Piper rolled her eyes, "Why would it be in your room? I don't recall being shirtless recently." Alex smirked, rolling over to stare at her back, "No, but you should've been." Piper shook her head, "Soon baby, soon. Now do you have any idea where that shirt is?" Polly walked in then with Pete in tow. "Found it!" Alex shouted. Piper leaned out of the closet to look at her girlfriend, "Where?" Alex grinned, "It's on Polly." Piper turned to look at her best friend who was looking at her sheepishly, "Polly!" she scolded. Polly shrugged, "It's a cute top."

"Yes and you didn't ask to borrow it." Piper said as she continued stuffing her bag with clothes. "Sorry." Polly mumbled as she turned to Alex, "Is everyone ready to go?" she asked her. Alex nodded, "Everyone's packed and ready to go except you know who." They both turned to look at Piper as the blonde turned and flipped them off. Pete chuckled from his spot in the desk chair.

Piper finally zipped her bag shut and threw it over her shoulder, "Okay." Alex stood and led the three of them out to the cars. Nicky and Lorna were waiting by Alex's. Pete and Polly were going to follow them up to the cabin in Pete's jeep. Nicky and Lorna climbed into the back seat as Alex settled behind the wheel. Piper turned to Polly, "See you when we get up there." Polly nodded, looking nervous. "What's wrong?" Piper asked her. Polly bit her lip, "Larry's in our car." Piper's eyes widened, "What?" Polly nodded, "He had nowhere to go, his parents are in London, Pete didn't want him to be alone for Christmas, and well I don't think he should be either." Piper shook her head, "Okay, you're right, Alex is just going to have to play nice." Polly raised a brow, "It's not Alex I'm worried about." Piper shook her head, "I'll be fine." She lied.

Piper climbed into the passenger seat as Alex turned to look at her, "Ready to go?" she asked the blonde. Piper nodded timidly, no longer excited for the vacation. Alex furrowed her brows, confused, "Everything okay?" Piper nodded before shaking her head, "No, Larry is kinda sort of in Pete's car." Nicky burst out laughing behind her. "What do you mean kinda sort of?" Alex asked. Piper ran her fingers through her hair, "He had nowhere to go for Christmas so Pete and Polly thought that he could come with us." Alex nodded, "Well I'm not going to be the asshole that says no, he just better hope he keeps his eyes off of you, or he's going to wish that he stayed home with a tv dinner."

Soon enough, Alex and Nicky were the only ones awake. Piper had fallen asleep with her forehead pressed against the window, and Lorna's head was in Nicky's lap. "Do you think he's going to be a problem?" Nicky asked her. Alex shrugged, looking in the review mirror at the red head, "I don't know, he would be an idiot to try anything with me there." Nicky nodded, "I'll get to him before you do, warn him if you want." Alex shook her head, "He doesn't need a warning, he just better be able to accept the fact that she no longer loves him." Nicky shrugged, looking out her window, "I think he has, he just doesn't want to be over her." Alex nodded, looking over at Piper, "I don't blame him, Piper Chapman isn't someone you could ever get over."


	14. Corn Syrup and Ear Plugs

"Keep my eyes shut

Safe in this trust

You're all that I need

My senses

Shining on me

I still carry your love

I feel your love."

-'Light Me Up' by Birdy

Alex pulled up to the cabin, turning to wake Piper up with a shake. Piper sat up bleary eyed as she took in her surroundings. Pete and Polly parked beside them in the driveway. Piper sighed heavily at the sight of Larry; she had forgotten he was there with them. This vacation couldn't be anything but interesting now, and without a doubt stressful. Piper didn't want to make Larry feel bad by cozying up to Alex, but that was the point of this getaway, so all of the couples could be couple-y. She felt Alex's hand on her shoulder, "You okay?" she asked the blonde. Piper nodded, shivering slightly from the cold and Alex's lips being so close to her ear. Alex headed towards the door, unlocking it and saying, "Have at it you animals." Nicky ran ahead of everyone else, and shoving Pete out of the way, as Lorna sidled up beside Piper, "She's like a child, but I guess it's better than most." The blonde nodded in agreement, smiling at the shorter woman. Lorna patted her arm before following the crazy red head inside the small cabin.

Polly and Pete followed in after, Larry headed over to Alex, "Hey, Alex, I'm really sorry about all of this." Alex looked up in surprise, she wouldn't have pinned Larry as the confrontational type. "It's cool." She said, heading for the trunk of her car for the bags. Larry followed her, "Can I help you bring the bags in, I mean after all it's the least I can do for putting a damper on things." Alex thought for a moment, would this mean she would owe him? Would he think that they were friends or something? Alex sighed, "Sure, here take Nichols' bags." She handed him Nicky's duffel bag along with Lorna's. Larry nodded at her before disappearing into the cabin. Piper stared in amazement at this interaction, finding it absolutely baffling that her ex and her girlfriend were being civil to one another.

Alex grabbed her bag and then Piper's, shutting the trunk after it was empty. She looked over at Piper who was currently staring at her. "What?" Alex asked a smirk visible on her lips. Piper shook her head, "Have I told you recently how amazing you are?" Alex chuckled, "Not since yesterday, why was it something I did?" she was acting coy. Piper smiled, taking her bag from the taller woman, "Just wait until I get my way with you." Alex swallowed at the exchanging of words, Piper wanted to have her way with her. The brunette felt a shiver run down her spine before following Piper into the old log cabin.

"Believe me, if it weren't for Piper, we would've been stranded out in Brooklyn that night." Polly was reminiscing to everyone the time her and Piper had gotten lost in New York. Piper had flirted with a guy until he had given the directions on how to get back to the subway. Alex grinned, wrapping her arm around the blonde's waist, pulling her closer to her on the couch.

They were all bullshitting around the fireplace, warm cups of cider spiked with bourbon being sipped casually as they told stories about their idiotic teen years. Nicky smirked, setting her cup down as she started to speak, "There was this one time, I was about fourteen and I woke up in the middle of the football field naked from the waist down and covered in corn syrup." Piper chuckled before waving for Nicky to stop, "Some things don't need to be remembered Nick." She said, laughing. Lorna raised a brow, "Why were you covered in corn syrup?" Nicky grinned, "That's the thing, I have no fucking clue!"

It was a little later on in the night, Polly was passed out next to Pete, and Lorna was dragging a sleepy Nicky off to their room. Pete and Alex were talking about car models or something, while Piper stared down Larry who was awkwardly sitting on the floor by Pete's feet. He looked apologetic, sipping from his cider nervously; he didn't want to make Piper uncomfortable, or to piss off Alex in any way. Piper was slowly falling asleep as Larry continued to stare at her, making her want to tell him to fuck off. He was making it seem like Alex was neglecting her or some shit because he would've taken her to bed by now. It pissed Piper off to no end, one because she was her own person, if she wanted to go to sleep she would have excused herself to her room, and also because Alex was doing anything but neglecting her. Piper could feel Alex's hand on her side, rubbing small circles through the fabric. Piper glared daggers at him as she curled even further into Alex's side.

Alex was well aware of the exchange of glares between Larry and Piper; she was just choosing to ignore it at the moment. She knew Piper could handle herself, plus it wasn't like he was doing much besides staring, Piper had quite the temper she was learning. Pete stood up suddenly, "Well I better get her to bed, before she gets grouchy." He mused, motioning to Polly before picking her up to carry to their room. Each couple had a room, and then Larry had gotten the couch. Alex nodded, turning to Piper, "Ready for bed babe?" she asked. She could see Larry cringe in the corner of her eye at the use of the nickname, she found herself smirking. Piper nodded, standing slowly to her feet. They were on the opposite side of the house from the other two couples.

Their room was next to the bathroom. Neither of them said goodnight to Larry as they headed down the hallway to their room. No sex was induced that night; both were too tired for anything besides lazy kisses as they lay in each other's arms.

The next morning Piper woke to an empty bed, hearing the shower running through the wall she climbed out of bed and padded out into the hallway. She figured that she could surprise Alex in the shower. She had forgotten that they weren't alone, and she wasn't paying attention to the quiet moans coming from behind the door. She turned the knob, it wasn't locked. Piper nearly tripped and fell on her face when she came face to face with Lorna who was mid-orgasm with Nicky on her knees in front of her. Piper mumbled an apology before running out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She found Alex in the kitchen.

Alex hadn't noticed Piper at first as she continued to cook eggs for everyone in a pan on the stove. She turned to grab a plate to put the food on when she noticed Piper sitting at the counter, her head in her hands. "Did you sleep okay?" Alex asked her. Piper nodded, looking up at her, "Yeah I slept really well actually." Alex smiled, "Yeah, me too." She had no doubt that it was because they had shared a bed. Piper chewed her bottom lip, deep in thought, "But I may have just walked in on something I wasn't supposed to see." Alex was about to ask her what she meant when Nicky came into the room grinning. "Enjoy the show Chapman?" She asked as she dried her wet hair with a towel. Piper blushed, turning away from the red head and directed her attention to the window. "I'm going to go get some air." She said, heading out the back door onto the patio.

Alex turned to Nicky, her brow raised, all too curious as to what had happened earlier between Piper and Nicky. "She walked in on Lorna and me in the shower." Nicky stated as she opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice and champagne, "No big deal, I just like fucking with her." She looked in the cabinet for glasses and then shouted, "Mimosas!"

Piper hadn't realized that going outside would cause her to come face to face with her ex. He was leaning against the railing of the porch, looking out at the trees that surrounded the cabin. She debated on going back inside but chose against it when she noticed that Lorna had joined them in the kitchen. Larry had noticed her by this point, standing by the door. "You don't have to feel obligated to stay, please go back inside with your friends, with your girlfriend." He sounded bitter. He hadn't seen anything yet she thought which only made her roll her eyes, if he thought cuddling on a couch was bad, he would be in for a treat later that night with what she was planning. She was going to have sex with Alex before the end of this trip if she had anything to do with it, she had waited long enough, they had danced around it for a while now, and she could care less about who was around to hear them at this point.

"Don't start." She said icily as she walked over to him, leaning against the railing beside him. She wanted to be on good terms with him, because even though she was no longer in love with him, she still wanted to be able to love him as a friend. He truly was a good guy; it just goes to show how much jealousy can change a person. "I'm not doing anything." he said. "What are you five?" she bit back, it had been one day and she was already tired of him, she couldn't imagine spending the rest of the week with Larry glaring at her and Alex. "Are your parents really in London, or did you just want to fuck up my vacation, get me back for breaking your heart?" Piper didn't care whether or not she hurt his feelings; she refused to feel bad for him anymore. Pete and Polly didn't threaten to cut off his hands if he didn't come along to Vermont; they had merely invited him to be polite. "Fuck you Piper, I'd much rather be at home with a TV dinner." Larry said angrily, pushing back from the railing. Piper chuckled at his words, remembering what Alex had said the day before.

Larry glared at her, "What's so funny?" Piper shook her head, "Nothing, but if you'd really rather be back in Massachusetts right now, then why did you come? What did you think, that you could somehow get me back, even though I'm here with Alex?" she wanted to laugh, but chose not to, he was pissed enough as it was. Larry shook his head, "She's not right for you." Piper nodded, furious, "Right, because you are. You're really starting to sound like my mother; even Polly hasn't said anything bad about my relationship!" Larry nodded, "You're right, god forbid you actually would want to be with someone who loved you and cared for you." Piper could feel her face get red with anger, her voice rising, "What makes you think Alex doesn't love me? Care for me? Fuck you Larry, fuck you because you know nothing about Alex, and clearly don't know a fucking thing about me!" Larry's anger was suddenly gone, realizing that his words had hurt her. Piper backed away from him, "You better have fucking earplugs tonight, because I wouldn't want to bother you with the sounds of me fucking my girlfriend." She said before heading back into the cabin.

Everyone had heard them arguing, staring at her as she stomped back into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and pouring champagne into it before downing it. This was going to be a long ass vacation.


	15. You Talk a Good Game

"Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love."

-'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry

Alex grabbed Piper's hand before she could refill her glass a second time, kissing her hair. Piper sighed heavily, leaning back into Alex. It was eleven o'clock in the morning and she was already exhausted from the day. "Everything alright?" She asked. Piper nodded before turning to face the rest of their friends who were scattered around the kitchen and living room eating their breakfasts. She grabbed a plate and started to eat.

Later that night they were all sitting around the fire place again, tomorrow was Christmas Eve. "I'm fucking bored." Nicky muttered as she took a sip of her beer. They all sat in silence for a second longer before the red head got an idea, "We're all friends here right?" When everyone nodded in turn she continued, "Why don't we play poker, and to make it interesting, let's make it strip poker." Nicky waited for someone to tell her no, but when that didn't happen, she jumped up and went searching for the cards she had stuffed in her bag.

Larry was sitting in the corner of the room, ignoring all of them as he tried to write on his laptop. Piper didn't even seem to notice him, but Alex sure did, at this point she was just waiting for a good enough excuse to kick his head in. Nicky came back with the cards then, telling everyone to gather around the coffee table, nearly jumping with joy at the thought of beating all of them in cards, her only real competitor was Alex.

After a few hands, Polly was down to her undergarments, Pete was shirtless, Piper was bare foot, but neither Alex nor Nicky had yet to lose a hand. Lorna had chosen to watch the game on the couch, rather than play it while Larry watched from afar. "What's it gonna be Vause, up the ante or fold?" The game had been going on for a couple of hours now, so to speed the game up; they had started to bet articles of their clothing. If you lost the hand, all of the clothes you betted had to be taken off. Alex thought for a moment, giving Piper a side long glance before saying, "I bet my shoes and socks." Nicky smirked, "Not that confident are you?" Nicky asked. Alex smirked, rolling her eyes, this is how Nicky usually won, she was a decent card player, but she could talk circles around you. "What are you betting Pipes?" Alex asked her.

Piper bit her lip, "I bet my pants." "Polly?" Nicky asked. The brunette shook her head at this, "No, I fold." They all chuckled as Pete said, "I bet my pants too." They all turned to Nicky, "Nichols?" Alex asked. The red head smirked, "I bet my shoes, socks, pants, and shirt." Alex smirked, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather just strip for us instead?" Nicky grinned, "You wish Vause." They were all given another card if they so wanted as Piper took notice to Nicky reaching back into the sleeve of her shirt. "Foul!" the blonde shouted, pointing towards the cheating girl who was currently slipping an ace out of her sleeve and into her hand. Pete rubbed his hands together, "You know what cheating gets ya Nick." The rules were that if you cheated in anyway, it was an automatic strip down to undergarments. Nicky shrugged, "It was gonna happen anyways." She quickly rid herself of her clothes before sitting back down at the table, "I fold."

Alex chuckled, "You sure talk a big game Nichols." Nicky winked at her before leaning back in her chair to watch the rest of the game. Alex turned to Pete, "Bet or fold?" Pete shook his head, "Fold." He removed his pants before leaning back in his chair as well. Piper and Alex were the only ones left, both with a considerable amount of clothes still yet to be removed. In a way this was a form of foreplay, it saved them the trouble of undressing later. Alex smirked as she turned to Piper beside her, "Babe?" Piper shook her head, "I bet my shirt." Pete wolf whistled at the statement as Alex raised a brow, she had a straight flush. The tall brunette nodded, "I bet my pants and shirt." Nicky raised a brow as she fist bumped Pete like they were both horny teenagers, which they pretty much were. Piper looked over her cards, raising a brow, "You sure you want to do this Al?" Alex could see the lust darkening the blonde's blue eyes. She nodded, tucking her legs beneath her.

Alex placed her cards slowly down on the table, whoever won this hand, won the game. Everyone's eyes widened at the straight flush that Alex had just placed on the table. Alex raised a brow at Piper, waiting to see what she would do. She expected a stripping of clothes, but instead she saw Piper grin mischievously as she laid down her cards, five of a kind. Everyone's jaw including Alex's dropped. Piper chuckled, "I guess it's time for you to pay the Piper now." Nicky laughed whole heartedly, "Oh fuck me, you've been waiting your entire life to say that, and you could not have picked a better time. Bravo kid, if I had a hat on, I would tip it to you." Pete and Polly nodded in agreement as Alex stood, disrobing herself of her clothes.

Piper suddenly felt hot, sweat forming on the back of her neck. "Chapman, you okay over there?" Nicky asked, clearly wanting to bring attention to her currently red face. Piper glared daggers at her, making a mental note to kill her later. Larry was sitting in the back, frowning profusely, making Alex want to laugh. She turned back to her friends, "I think that's my cue to call it a night." Nicky chuckled, "Sure Vause, just keep it down alright, I need my beauty sleep." Alex laughed, "No promises." She stood up, grabbing her clothes and then Piper's hand, dragging the blonde down the hallway towards their bedroom. Piper could feel Larry's eyes on her but frankly she didn't give a fuck, because she was about to be fucked.

Alex shut their door quickly, pushing Piper back into it as their lips met with a very satisfying moan from the shorter woman. Alex smirked into the kiss, pulling away slightly to speak, "Jesus Pipes, if kissing is going to get you off, let me know ahead of time." Piper swatted at her arm, "Just fucking kiss me." Alex was never one to argue over such things as she met Piper's lips again with her own. Piper's nails raked down Alex's arms, making her shiver. Alex's hands moved beneath Piper's shirt, rubbing up and down her back before pulling away again, "This has got to go." Piper giggled as she lifted her arms so Alex could take it off of her. Their mouths met once more, not leaving much room for breathing as Piper sucked on Alex's bottom lip, her tongue begging for entrance. Alex opened her mouth, her nerves beginning to get the best of her. She has had sex before, many times, but she couldn't help but think that this was different. She remembered what she had in her pocket, waiting for the right moment to ask. She didn't want Piper to find it, so she pulled away again; Piper's eyes shot open at the loss of contact. "What's wrong?" she asked. Alex shook her head, "Nothing, just hold on a sec." she walked over to the nightstand, pulling the small drawer open, turning her back to Piper so she couldn't see what she was doing, before fishing out the box that was in her pocket, and dropping it into the drawer. She placed her glasses on the table as her excuse for walking over there, turning back to face the blonde who had removed her pants at this point and was walking slowly towards her.

"God you look so sexy without your glasses, it's almost as if you're naked." Piper purred as she began kissing along the brunette's jawline. Alex's breath was shallow as the feeling of Piper's lips began to make her all hot and bothered. "You have such beautiful eyes Alex, like a grey green." Piper continued as she began sucking on her pulse point. Alex rolled her eyes, "Alright Shakespeare, you want to admire me, or do you want to fuck me?" She could feel Piper's smile on her skin. "Both." Piper said, her tongue flicking out against her skin. Alex moaned quietly as Piper began unhooking her bra, tossing the pesky undergarment somewhere on the floor as she turned them, pushing Alex down on their bed and straddled her hips.

Alex stared up at her, it was completely silent, she felt like she could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest, playing her ribs like a xylophone. Piper tucked a stray piece of dark brown hair behind Alex's ear, leaning in and kissing her again. "I love you." She whispered against her lips. All of a sudden, Alex wanted to cry. She had never felt this happy in her entire life, no one had ever cared for her this much, loved her in such a way that she felt like she could break with just the slightest touch. Piper ran her hands over Alex's shoulders, dragging her fingers down her bare chest, kneading at her breasts lightly. She swallowed the brunette's moans as she tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth. Alex could barely think, every neuron in her body exploding with Piper's touch. Piper began kissing down her neck, nipping lightly at her collarbone before moving down to give her breasts some much needed attention. Alex lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as the blonde went to work on her left breast, kissing around the area before taking the nipple into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the erected skin. Alex let out a gasp as Piper continued to knead the other, before swapping.

Alex felt tears run down her cheeks at the closeness of Piper. Sure she had been close to other girls before, it wasn't the first time someone had made friends with her tits, but it was the emotion behind each action, each touch. Piper loved her; she was telling her with her tongue what her lips had already told her many times. This was new for her, for both of them. Neither one of them had ever felt this intimate before, filled with such love for the other person.

"Piper, I love you too." Alex said through the tears. She knew that she was being a big baby, there was no reason for her to be crying, she was about to be fucked by the woman she loved. Piper looked up from her ministrations, "I love you too baby." She then took notice to her tears, "Alex, what's wrong?" Alex swiped at her eyes, cursing herself; she didn't want Piper to see her like this, especially during sex. "It's nothing; I just love you so much." Piper smiled warmly, her look was no longer filled with lust, but complete and utter love for this amazing woman that lay beneath her. "I love you too." She whispered. Alex rolled them over, pinning Piper beneath her, "You're overdressed for the occasion." She mumbled into Piper's neck as she nuzzled her, changing the subject. Piper giggled as Alex unhooked her bra, throwing it over her shoulder and kicking it the rest of the way off of the bed. "These too." Alex whispered to her, tugging on her panties. She slid them down the blonde's long legs, before tossing them as well. It was much easier when Alex was in control of things; she didn't have to think about what every movement that Piper made meant something other than her just trying to get her off.

Piper's breath hitched when she felt Alex's hands pass over her breasts and travel down her torso to land on the crook of her hips. "Alex please." She moaned. The brunette, kissed her abdomen, grinning, "Please what, tell me what you want baby." Piper bit her lip, she had never done this before, usually the people she slept with just did things, that being shoving their dick in her without any foreplay, or just fumbling around with her breasts before coming within ten minutes, not even bothering to get her off. Now that Piper thought of it, she hadn't had that many good experiences in the bedroom department, except for Larry, he was sometimes able to get her to come, but that was on the rare occasions that he didn't come first, which was almost always, and when they tried oral his tongue just felt like a cat's, scratchy and rough. She pushed all of these thoughts to the side though when she felt the first flick of Alex's tongue on her cunt, closing her eyes and moaning. "Look at me, I want you to watch." Alex whispered against her skin. Piper opened her eyes slowly, watching as Alex winked at her before going down on her again, enveloping her clit between her lips. Alex was nothing like Larry, she was perfect.

Piper soon gave herself over to Alex, turning into putty as she brought her to orgasm over and over again until she was shaking and could no longer feel her lower half. Alex slid up her body now slick with sweat, "Who would've thought you'd be more vocal when sober." She whispered before kissing Piper softly.


	16. Kissing Cousins

"You have suffered enough

And warred with yourself

It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home

We've still got time."

-'Falling Slowly' by Once

Piper woke up the next morning pressed tightly against Alex's side. Alex was still asleep as she climbed out of bed slowly to get a shower. She nearly ran smack dab into Larry in the hallway. He wouldn't even look at her, "Go ahead, I'll wait." He said, motioning for her to use the bathroom first as he turned on his heel and went back into the living room. She rolled her eyes, brushing her teeth quickly before hopping into the shower.

Alex was still asleep after she had gotten dressed; she must have really tired her out. Piper smiled at the thought as she quietly shut the door to the bedroom behind her before finding Polly in the kitchen making coffee. "So how was it?" Polly asked, turning to face her with a mug for her. Piper grabbed the coffee gratefully and took a sip. In a hushed tone she said, "Polly, I came seven times last night!" Polly made a confused face as she sipped at her own cup, "That's a little excessive don't you think?" Piper shook her head, smiling, "It was the best sex I have ever had, and who would've thought it could be that good?" Polly rolled her eyes as they were greeted with a sleepy Nicky whose hair was even more frizzy then usual and heading towards the coffee machine. "Hey Chapman, seven times huh? I tried to count but I couldn't figure out where one ended and the other began." Piper felt her cheeks flush, had they really been that loud that everyone had heard them? Polly answered the silent question for her, "Woke me up, can't say I wasn't jealous though." Nicky smirked as she turned to face them, "I think we were all a little jealous, some more than others." She looked over Piper's shoulder at Larry who was currently glaring at the three of them from his spot on the couch, he couldn't get any sleep the night before due to the loud moans coming from his ex, he never knew that she was vocal in bed, let alone that loud.

"Morning." Piper turned at the familiar voice, kissing Alex before smiling. "Hey killer heard you were quite the pleaser last night!" Nicky said from her spot atop the counter. Alex smirked, grabbing some coffee for herself, not bothering to respond to the statement, she did good last night, but she already knew that. She turned back to face them, leaning back against the counter, eyeing Piper from over the brim of her mug. Alex could feel the small box burning in her pocket. She was nervous, she didn't know when she should ask her, was it too soon? Should she wait a little longer before asking? She tried not to think about it, tuning back into the conversation at hand, which surprisingly wasn't about her and Piper's sexcapades anymore. "So the guy asks me where my pants were, telling me that I couldn't come into the store in my bathing suit. I told him the whole point of me going into his stupid fucking store was to buy myself some mother fucking pants, but the douche wouldn't let me in." Nicky was saying. Alex shook her head, laughing at the story. "So what did you do?" the tall brunette asked. Nicky turned to her, smirking, "Well Chapman here was with me, we were both sixteen, she flirted the pants right off of some poor kid, told him she would repay him if she could borrow his pants." Piper blushed at the memory. Alex eyed her girlfriend, a brow raised before laughing, "And?" Nicky chuckled, "Well that's the best part, I put on this kid's pants to go in the store with Piper and we never saw him again." They all laughed as Polly asked, "So the kid never got his pants back?" Nicky shook her head, "Nope, he just took off, we left his pants for him though with a post it, thanking him for his chivalry."

Alex wrapped her arms around Piper's waist, pulling her back into her and kissed beneath her ear. "I have a surprise for you." Piper raised a brow, "Oh yeah?" Alex kissed her neck again, "Yeah, follow me." She had finally figured out how to ask her. She led her out the back door and down the steps into the woods. Piper held onto her hand as she was led through the trees until it opened up into an open field. The moon was hung low and Alex's arms were around her waist again, yeah she could get used to this. There were a few candles lit and a blanket, recreating their first date. It was Christmas Eve and Alex was trying to make everything as romantic as possible. It was cold out as Piper clung to the taller woman for warmth. "I know it's cold, but I thought it was too beautiful to pass up, kind of like when I saw you just a few months ago." Alex said this as she led the blonde down onto the blanket. Any minute now she was going to ask her, she hoped that it was going to go as planned, she didn't know what she was going to do if she said no, she wouldn't break up with her, but she would definitely feel disappointed.

"This is perfect." Piper said, leaning up to kiss Alex. The brunette smiled, reaching into her pocket for the box when her phone went off. She moved her hand over to her other pocket, pulling out her phone and answering, "Hello?" "Alex, how fast can you get to New York?" it was her aunt, which worried Alex; she would be the last person to contact her, meaning only something terrible had to have happened. "Kathleen? What's wrong?" She asked hurriedly. Piper watched her, looking worried at the tone of Alex's voice. "It's your mom, she fell on the stairs of her porch, she's in the hospital and the doctor wants to talk to you. It's not looking too good though." Her aunt said. Alex felt her chest give, taking her breath away. "Alex?" her aunt asked. Piper grabbed her phone from her, "Hi, this is Piper, she's having trouble speaking right now. What happened?" Kathleen quickly informed her about what had happened and that Alex should try and get to New York as fast as possible. Piper hung up the phone, blowing out all of the candles and grabbed Alex's hand, "I'll go with you." Alex shook her head, "It's a five hour drive Piper, you should stay here, don't let this ruin your Christmas." Piper refused to hear this, "It's your mom Al, this is important. This won't ruin my Christmas, not if I'm with you."

Alex nodded, not able to find the energy to argue, "Okay." Piper helped her stand; she was wobbly on her feet. They headed back to the cabin quickly as Piper ran around their room, repacking their bags. Alex remembered the box, not thinking and threw it into Piper's handbag. "Okay, ready?" Piper asked, turning to face her. Alex nodded, grabbing their bags from her as she left the room and headed out towards the car. Everyone was very understanding, agreeing that they could all head back in two days in Pete's car.

"Pipes, I'm scared." Alex said as they sat in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to show up. Piper held onto her hand, rubbing soothing circles on it with her thumb. "I know baby." She said, not wanting to reassure her in case it wasn't in fact okay. A man came out then in a white lab coat and a clip board, "Alex Vause?" he asked, looking around the room. Alex quickly stood, dragging Piper with her. "That's me." The doctor nodded, sticking out his hand for her to shake, "I'm Dr. Harding, I apologize for the wait." He looked between the two of them, "Are you two sisters?" he inquired. Alex felt irritated immediately, "No, she's my girlfriend." The man nodded, "Well your mother is in the ICU, only immediate family can visit her, so I'm afraid that she's going to have to wait out here." Alex nodded, clenching her jaw slightly. "If you follow me, I can take you to go see your mother, but only briefly, it's still early so technically there shouldn't be any visitors yet." The brunette nodded, letting go of Piper's hand. Piper gave her a chaste kiss, telling her to go and that she would wait for her there.

Alex stood over her mom, Diane was sleeping. She had bruises running up and down the left side of her body where her arm was in a cast. The doctor stood beside her, "She should wake in a few hours, you can come back then." He led her back out into the hallway, "I do have to tell you something though, we did some tests to make sure that Diane was okay, and we found something." He shifted onto his other foot, "We detected a black splotch in the lining of her lungs, I took a closer look and found out that it was a tumor. Now until we do further testing I can't say anything for sure, but it looks to be at the second stage, meaning it's still curable, it just won't be as easy for her to recuperate. We can look more into this tomorrow, but until then I would like to have your number on hand in case something comes up." Alex felt her heart plummet to her feet as her stomach lurched. She quickly wrote down her number before leaving to find Piper, she didn't know what she was going to do, but she needed to find the blonde.

Piper was sitting on her phone in the waiting room when Alex came back. "Is everything okay?" she asked, searching Alex's face for anything that could tell her what the doctor had told her. Alex shook her head rapidly, falling into Piper's arms, kneeling in front of her. Piper stroked her hair, hugging her close to her stomach. Alex's cries were stifled by the fabric of Piper's sweatshirt, not bothering to stand back up or sit in a chair. Piper didn't know whether or not she should press her for answers, so she pulled her to her feet, "Let's get some coffee." They headed down to the cafeteria, both getting a coffee and sitting down in a booth.

"My mother has lung cancer." Alex whispered after a moment, looking down at her hands. Piper's jaw dropped, lost for words. She didn't know how to comfort her; she didn't know how to control her shock, let alone her girlfriend's quiet sobs. "Oh Al, I am so sorry." Alex nodded, understanding that Piper couldn't make her feel better, not about this. Her whole world was falling apart around her, even if the cancer was curable and they were able to remove the tumor, the doctor had said that she would have trouble recuperating; did that mean that it could relapse, that it could spread? "It's stage two." She continued, not knowing what else to say. Piper bit her lip, "Well that's good right, it's still early, there's still a chance that they could cure it?" Alex nodded; her tongue was too numb for her to form words.

They sat in silence as Piper sipped from her cardboard cup of coffee, noticing Alex's disgruntled look as the dark haired woman rubbed her temples. Piper reached out a hand, touching Alex's elbow, "You okay babe?" She knew that it was stupid to ask, she clearly was anything but okay. Alex shook her head, "No, but I have to be, for mom, for you, hell even for myself." Piper nodded, "Do you want some aspirin?" Alex mumbled an affirmative before realizing that Piper was rummaging through her purse. The brunette's eyes widened, watching as Piper produced the small box from her purse. "What is this?" She asked. Alex swallowed as the blonde opened it, pulling out the contents, dangling it from a red ribbon around her finger, "What is this, the key to your heart?" she asked, trying to lighten the mood. Alex sipped her coffee; this was so not how she had wanted to ask. "You could say that." She replied, staring down into her cup.

Piper rolled her eyes, "Seriously Alex, even you aren't that big of a mush. What is it?" Alex swallowed, looking up to meet blue eyes, "It's a key to our new apartment." She watched as the blonde's face screwed up in surprise. Alex quickly continued, "You know, if you want it to be ours." Piper looked up at her, holding the key in her hand, "Are you serious?" She knew that you could live off of campus once your freshman year was up, but she hadn't been expecting Alex to want to move in with her. Alex bit her lip nervously, she hadn't said yes yet. "We don't have to just yet, we can't really move into it until June anyway, but I just thought that when we got back, I could take you to check it out." She realized that it wasn't a good time, now that her mother was sick. Piper smiled, tears in her eyes, "Are you sure?" Alex nodded, of course she was sure. Seeing Piper eight hours a day wasn't enough, she wanted to wake up and fall asleep beside her. Piper nodded, "Okay." Alex raised a brow, "Okay?" Piper wiped the tears off of her face, "I'll move in with you." Alex smiled, for that one moment she was truly happy, leaning across the table and kissing the blonde before pulling back.

"My mom." She whispered, what was she going to do? Piper grabbed her hand, holding it tightly, "We'll get through this, no matter what happens we have each other. Whether Diane likes it or not, I am in love with her daughter and I consider her family." Alex laughed, "I think she already sees you as her daughter." She was recalling the conversation she had had with her mom over Thanksgiving break. Diane really did like Piper, cared for her even after just a few hours of knowing her. The blonde could win your heart that easily, and Alex knew that she was a goner.

"You can see her now." The nurse said, inviting Alex to come in and see her mother. Diane was sitting up in the bed, her breakfast pushed to the side. "The food sucks here." The older woman declared as she saw her daughter come in. Alex laughed, "It's a hospital mom, I don't think they have five star chefs here." Diane shook her head, "Don't be a fucking wiseass and come hug your mother." Alex leaned down and hugged her gently, "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" Alex said. Diane chuckled, "Well you had to get your smarts from somewhere." Alex shook her head, the doctor had already told Diane what they had found, she wasn't surprised to say the least. "You knew that something was wrong." Alex said as she sat down in the chair beside her mother's bed. Diane shrugged, "When you smoke six packs a week like me, it's not a surprise to find out your lungs aren't your biggest fans." Alex blinked back unshed tears, "They're going to help you, we're going to get through this, you're going to get better and then I'm going to kick your ass."

Diane shook her head, she knew that they didn't have the money for research or chemo, but she didn't say anything, not wanting to upset Alex any more than she already was. "Is Piper here?" she asked instead. Alex nodded, "She's not allowed in the ICU, she's not immediate family." Diane raised a brow, "You didn't tell them she was your sister?" Alex rolled her eyes, "No mom I didn't, I kind of want to able to kiss my girlfriend in public." Diane smirked, "Like that's stopped you before." She was referring to the time Alex was caught kissing her cousin Caroline. Alex shook her head, "I can't believe you're bringing that up right now, and she was a second cousin, it's not as bad!" They laughed then as if they weren't in a hospital room, as if Diane didn't have an IV stuck in her hand, and as if there weren't people dying all around them.

They returned to Smith a couple of hours later, curling up on Piper's bed to enjoy the rest of the night before they would be bombarded with questions by their friends the next day. Piper kissed Alex's nose, "I love you." Alex nodded, "I love you too." Piper wrapped her arms around the taller woman's waist, holding her closer. "Do you believe in luck?" Alex asked her. Piper shrugged, "I'm not so sure, why?"

Alex sighed, thinking about her tattoo on the back of her left shoulder, "I just hope that my mother is as lucky as she was while playing cards." Piper smiled lightly, "Diane is strong, she'll pull through, but until then, we'll have to just cross our fingers. I hear sexual activity is a great way to relieve stress." She kissed Alex's neck as she said this. Alex smiled; she had no idea what she would've done without this woman beside her, surely not getting laid that's for damn sure.


	17. Ohana Means Family

"I don't believe in anything but myself

But then you opened up a door, you opened up a door

Now I start to believe in something else

But how do I know if I'll make it through?

How do I know? Where's the proof in you?"

-'Soldier' by Ingrid Michealson

**One Month Later…**

"Are you nervous to meet him?" Piper asked Alex as they sat on the curb outside of the coffee shop. Alex had gotten into contact with her half-brother Jack a couple days before, and they had decided to meet at a small café in town. "What do you think he's going to be like?" Alex asked as a way to calm her nerves. Piper lightly shrugged, "I don't know, maybe he'll be as cool as you." Alex smirked, "Not likely, it's hard enough as it is for me to maintain my coolness, I don't think anyone else would be able to handle it." Piper giggled, "Well him being as funny as you is certainly out of the question." Alex smiled; she had no idea what Jack looked like, but if it was any conciliation, the guy that stood by the counter in a business suit with short brown almost black hair and green/grey eyes was more than likely her guy. She was nervous, what would he think of her? He may not have his life together, but he certainly did look like it at least. "Hey Piper, I think that's him." Alex pointed him out to the blonde. Piper's eyes widened slightly, "Without a doubt, that has to be him, he looks just like you." Which was true, he was handsome, tall, and without a doubt stood out like a sore thumb, already there were numerous girls and one guy eyeing him from afar.

Alex and Jack hadn't exchanged many words about themselves, just that they were somehow related through their father, and that they should meet. She knew nothing about him before she had googled him. He was seven years older than her, making him 27, and was a district attorney for the state of New York. Alex swallowed, "I don't know what to say to him, we might have nothing in common besides the same sperm bank." Piper smiled, "It'll be okay, I'll be sitting on the other side of the room." Alex nodded, finally standing to her feet. She was going to do it; she was going to talk to her brother.

"Jack Cunningham?" Alex asked as she walked over to him. He turned to her, his coffee freezing mid ascend to his mouth, "Alex Vause?" She nodded timidly, "That would be me." He nodded, motioning towards a table, "Sit, sit." She quickly ordered a coffee before sitting across from him. It was so much easier when she had Piper in her periphery. "So your father is Lee Burley." Alex nodded, "Yours too I hear." Humor was a common deflector for her. Jack nodded, "Unfortunately." They sat in silence for a moment before he cleared his throat, "I'm sure you want to know more about me." Alex nodded again.

Jack shifted in his seat, "I am a lawyer for the state of New York, I've been married for five years to a wonderful woman named Tiffany, and I have two children, Emily who is three, and Lance who is six months." Alex's eyes widened slightly, he was able to move on from the fact that his father was a complete and udder disappointment, to live a life that seemed acceptable to most people. "Are you happy?" She found herself asking. He looked at her, confused for a moment before nodding, "I would like to believe so, yes. I love my family, and I love my job." He watched her carefully as she sipped from her cup. "I've come to accept the fact that I will never have a father, in a way it still hurts that I never had someone to throw a ball around with, have a man to man talk, but I had a mother who loved me so much, that did everything a father could do and more. She would work all day, come home and cook me dinner, and somehow find the time to help me with homework or to play outside or whatever it was that I wanted. Now Alex, I heard your mother is sick, I'm so sorry to hear it."

Alex felt tears begin to fill her eyes; this was her brother in front of her. He seemed nice enough, certainly smart enough. "Thank you." She said shakily. "She worked four jobs while I was growing up." He shook his head, impressed, "It sounds like your mother really loves you." Alex nodded, "She's been to hell and back trying to keep me happy my entire life, and now she's sick, and is probably going to die, and it's not fucking fair." She couldn't believe that she was breaking down in front of this man, someone she had just met, she couldn't even cry in front of Piper half the time. "I'm sorry; I don't want you to pity me." Jack held out a hand to stop her, "I don't pity you, I understand. My mother passed away five years ago actually, breast cancer." Alex felt her chest throb at the news, "Man, cancer sure gets around." He smiled weakly, "So it would seem."

Piper watched from the back of the room, sitting with her elbows propped up on the table. She noticed that Alex was purposefully moving her face so that she couldn't see her facial expressions. She didn't mind, just hoped that she was okay.

Alex leaned back in her chair, managing to push her hair all to one side to hide her puffy eyes from her girlfriend's searching gaze. "So what now?" she asked nervously, she wasn't sure what Jack was thinking. Did he want to keep in contact, or was he disappointed with her? Did he expect someone else looking back at him? He shrugged, "You still haven't told me anything about yourself." Alex sighed, "I go to Smith University, I'm majoring in English Literature, and that stalkerish looking blonde in the corner over there is my girlfriend." She figured that she had said enough for the moment. Jack turned to look at Piper, waving. Piper shot up in her seat, looking over at them questioningly before waving back, confused. "She seems nice." He said, turning back to face Alex. She smiled, nodding, "Yeah, she's amazing." Jack nodded, "You love her." Alex knew that he didn't mean it as a question, but she nodded her head anyways, "Very much." Jack smiled, "I'm glad that you have someone." He straightened in his chair, "Listen, I have to get going if I'm going to make it back to New York for dinner." Alex stood with him. She didn't know what to do, should she hug him? Shake his hand? She figured that she would let him decide and just go with it. Jack continued to speak, "I'd like to see you again, maybe you and your girlfriend could come to visit one weekend." Alex nodded, hoping that he wasn't meaning anytime soon. She needed to stay with her mother. They had moved Diane out to Massachusetts; she was currently living in their apartment, seeing that they couldn't live in it for another five months anyways.

Jack stuck out his hand before deciding against it and pulling Alex into a hug. It wasn't a stiff hug like she had thought it would be, instead it was warm. He smelled like cologne and laundry detergent. It was nice. She pulled away first, afraid that she would be letting him in too far. "It was nice to meet you Jack." She said. He smiled, "You too Alex, we'll talk soon." He turned to Piper, nodding once before heading out of the coffee shop.

Alex watched him leave before realizing that Piper was standing beside her, smiling, "How was it?" Alex shrugged, playing it off, "It was nice." Piper rolled her eyes, "You're such a bad liar Al, admit it, you liked meeting him." Alex shoved her lightly, grabbing her coat up off of her chair and pulling it on, "Shut up." Piper chuckled, "That's not what you were telling me last night." Alex smirked, "Keep it up and you'll be sleeping in your own bed tonight." Piper grinned, kissing Alex's cheek, "You wish you could spend a night away from me." The brunette smiled widely, throwing out her empty coffee cup before pulling Piper out of the shop by her waist, "Come on, let's go check on my mom."

Alex heard her mother before she saw her, "Alexandra, how many times do I have to tell you not to worry about me?" Piper chuckled, carrying the Chinese takeout into the kitchen, "Yeah Alexandra." The blonde echoed. Alex pulled off her boots, glaring playfully at Piper, "Don't you start." She mouthed to her. The tall woman moved into the living room where Diane sat on the couch, a blanket covering her legs as she watched TV. "And I thought I told you to stop watching those horrible reality shows, they'll kill your brain cells. Read a book, educate yourself." Alex smirked as she said this. Diane rolled her eyes, "Came in guns blazing this time huh?" Alex shrugged, flopping down onto the armchair across from her, "Considering last time she threw your pillow at me just because I asked if I could get you anything, yes."

Diane shook her head, "I can take care of myself thank you, it's bad enough that I agreed to live here while you finish your school year. To think that you would be up my ass everyday about my health, I would have told you no." Piper smiled from the mother daughter banter as she came in with their dinner on plates. She handed Diane her plate before sitting between Alex's legs on the floor, passing up a plate to the brunette and digging into her own. "Thanks sweetie." Diane said to the blonde as she begun to eat. Alex raised a brow, "You have kind words for her but not your own daughter?" Diane shot her a look, "That's because I actually like Piper." She joked. Alex pretended to be hurt before beginning to eat. She felt Piper's hand on her ankle, rubbing a soothing circle around it before the touch disappeared.

Diane noticed this, smiling to herself, knowing that when she was gone, her daughter would still have someone to look after her, someone to love her. "Piper, did I ever tell you about the time Alex kissed her cousin Caroline?" Hearing Alex groan Piper looked up at her girlfriend before turning to face Diane, chuckling, "Did she now?"


	18. Essays and Green Grass

"There now, steady love, so few come and don't go

Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?

When I'm losing my control, the city spins around

You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

It's always have and never hold

You've begun to feel like home

What's mine is yours to leave or take

What's mine is yours to make your own"

-'Look After You' by The Fray

XXX

Alex heard her phone go off, rolling over to grab it off of the floor beside her bed, feeling Piper's arms tighten around her waist in an attempt to keep her in place. "Stop that phone from fucking blaring!" Nicky shouted from her side of the room. Alex looked at the time bleary eyed, noticing that it was 8am, and that it was Jack calling. "I swear to fuck Vause, if you don't stop ruining my Saturday morning in the next five seconds, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your fucking ass you're going to have my toes as teeth!" Alex chuckled, "Keep your hair on Nichols." She answered the phone, rolling back into Piper's arms instead of taking the call elsewhere, deciding to piss off Nicky even more. The red head was already in a bad mood that she couldn't stay over at Lorna's last night because she was visiting her sister.

"Hello?" she asked groggily into the phone. She heard Piper grumble beside her, the blonde pushing a pillow over her head and turning to face the wall. Alex heard Jack's voice, "Alex, I'm sorry did I wake you?" "Yeah, but that's okay. What's up?" she asked. Jack apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm just excited because Tiffany gave the okay for dinner. How does tomorrow sound? Are you doing anything?" Alex sat up in bed; she couldn't believe what she was hearing. What about her mom? "Sorry Jack, my mother is pretty sick, I don't want to have to leave her in case she needs me." she said. "Not to worry, Diane can come too." Alex thought about it for a moment before saying, "Okay, what time do you want us there?" It would take them about 4 hours to get there. "Around six if you can, I can't wait for you to meet my family." Alex smiled lightly, she had to admit she was starting to look forward to it too, it finally meant that she had more family besides her mother and her aunt and uncle. "We'll see you at six then." "Can't wait." He said before hanging up. "I fucking hate your guts." Nicky grumbled into her pillow.

Alex felt Piper roll back towards her, kissing her neck, "I don't." Nicky groaned, "No fornicating with me in here, I draw the fucking line at that." Alex chuckled, pulling Piper close and kissing her hair, "Up for dinner with the family?" Piper looked at her through half lidded eyes, "Alex, talk later, sleep now." Alex smirked, "Yes cavewoman."

XXX

Later on in the day, Alex managed to drag Piper out of bed and over to their apartment. They were spending more and more time with Diane, not only to get away from hectic university life, but also because they generally enjoyed the older woman's company. Piper never tired of hearing her girlfriend and her mother bicker like sisters every time they went over.

"Ma I told you before, essays aren't as easy as they look!" Alex argued from her spot in what could only be considered her arm chair at this point. She had her laptop propped up on her lap and her glasses were slipping down to the edge of her nose. Piper couldn't help but stare at how unbearably sexy the brunette looked doing such a simple task as her homework. Piper sat next to Diane on the couch, knitting. "All I'm saying is that it you would be finishingyour essay a whole lot faster if you were actually looking at the words on the screen instead of your girlfriend." Piper blushed, not even realizing that Alex was watching her, she thought that she was watching her. Diane shook her head, turning her attention back to the TV. Alex smirked, realizing that she had won the battle for now, winking at Piper before going back to her writing.

"Piper, what is it you're knitting again?" Diane asked the blonde as she looked over at her. Piper smiled, glad to have a distraction from trying to undress Alex with her eyes, "I'm knitting my brother Cal a sweater, it gets cold out in the woods." Diane smiled lightly, "That's right; I think I would like him." Piper shrugged, "Maybe you can meet him sometime." Alex looked over at the two talking, feeling the pit in her stomach open wider at the thought of the future. She never thought about her mother meeting Piper's family. The idea scared her, Diane could detect bullshit from a mile away, she feared that if Diane ever met Carol, it would be like Jaws, Diane would see red.

"Al, you okay?" Piper asked, noticing that Alex was staring at the wall, deep in thought. Diane waved her hand at her daughter in dismissal, "She does that from time to time, she'll come to eventually." Piper chuckled at Diane's carefree personality; she really wished that she had had a mother like her instead of her uptight, slightly racist once given enough alcohol, and over all overbearing, WASPy mother.

"So mom, you don't mind coming with us to New York tomorrow?" Alex asked, finally escaping her trance. Diane rolled her eyes, "For the fifth time, yes Alex. I want to meet this boy that is related to my daughter." The brunette nodded, she couldn't help but feel nervous. She knew how her mother could be, and she couldn't help but notice that the other day when she had talked to Jack at the coffee shop, that he was wearing a cross. She could only hope that he wasn't too religious, otherwise, they would all be in for a treat.

XXX

The next day, after hours on the road and listening to music loud enough to burst your eardrums, they pulled up to a large house. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." Diane said from the back seat. Alex felt her stomach clench, this would be fun indeed. Alex got out of the car, opening the back door for her mother who only rolled her eyes at her daughter's actions, "I can open my own fucking door thank you." She was becoming more irritable with the medication that the doctor put her on to help with the chemo that she had recently begun. Alex sighed heavily, hoping that her mother wouldn't go off on her newfound family. She looked up at the house, with its green and fresh cut grass and garden ornaments. "Whose fucking grass is green in January?" she heard Diane say.

Piper stared up at the house, taking in the large windows and expensive wooden door. She looked over to the other side of the car to find Alex and Diane both in awe too. Piper then heard Diane's snide remark about the grass and couldn't help but to laugh. Alex looked over at her, uncertainty clear in her eyes. It was as if Alex was begging her to give her a reason to get back in the car and drive far away.

Alex couldn't help but feel out of place. She didn't belong here. She grew up in a ramshackle house that's rent was $500 a month, with a screen door that didn't shut and slammed against the house every time the wind blew. This house had fucking shutters while her house had thin glass windows that rattled. Alex couldn't help but feel a little jealous of her brother and how well he appeared to be doing. She hoped that this would one day be something she could accomplish, something she could give Piper. Alex's face screwed up in confusion. Where the fuck did that thought just come from? She shook her head, shoved her hands into her pockets and headed up towards the front door with Piper and her mother in tow. She nearly trips up the cobblestone stairs as she makes her way up to the house, staring confusedly at the handle attached to the front of the door. Did she knock with it? She had never felt harassed by an appliance before. Alex felt Piper's hands smooth down her wrist and twine her fingers with hers; she immediately felt some of the nervousness subside as she located the door bell, pressing it before taking a step back. "Who the fuck has a knocker and a bell?" Diane asked skeptically. Alex rolled her eyes, she hoped that Jack had some form of liquid with a high alcohol percentage; she was going to need it. Piper could drive them home.

The door opened a few moments later, Jack smiled warmly at the three women standing on his door step. He was wearing a fucking sweater vest, just another thing to add onto the growing list of things her mother could make fun of. "Come in, come in, it's cold out here." He said, moving aside so they could step over the threshold. Alex looked around the large foyer, taking in the shiny finish on the hardwood flooring and the chandelier that hung above them. She couldn't help but feel like she was in the home of Bill Gates himself. Jack shut the door behind them as he motioned for them to follow him into a room off to the side, "This is the mud room, you can just put your coats and shoes in here." He instructed. They quickly removed the suggested items before he led them down a long and spacious hallway towards what could only be considered Emeril's kitchen. "Jesus fuck, it's huge!" Diane said as Alex took notice to the large cross that adorned the wall, quickly swatting her mother in the arm and pointing to the religious item. Diane rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath that she could say whatever the fuck she wanted without being chastised by her daughter for it.

Piper felt Alex grip her hand harder as they entered the kitchen. She knew that Diane was putting her more on edge then she already would've been without her there. Piper had told Alex that Diane would've been fine for the day, but the taller woman wouldn't have it, she didn't trust her mother to be alone for the whole day. Piper understood, before her grandfather had died when she was sixteen, she didn't want to leave his side either.

"Alex, Piper, Diane, this is my beautiful wife Tiffany." Jack said, introducing them to a woman no taller than 5'2, making her a little taller than his shoulders. She had long wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. She turned to face them, removing one of her oven mitts to shake their hands. "It's nice to meet you, I'm so glad Jack has family, it's usually just mine at Christmas dinner, it's good to hear we can now celebrate Christ's birthday with a much larger group of people." Oh boy. Alex thought, taking notice to the gold cross that rested on Tiffany's chest, fucking perfect. She smiled, her jaw tense as she took notice to Diane shifting from one foot to the other beside her. Don't you fucking dare, Alex practically screamed in her head. She needed this; she needed Jack to feel more normal, like her childhood wasn't as fucked up as it was. "It's good to meet you too." She found herself saying, grateful for the steadiness of her voice.

Piper could detect that Diane wasn't happy with the religious aspect of the exchange. She had a feeling that if Diane said anything about Christianity being bullshit, it could cost Alex her relationship with her newfound half-brother. She squeezed Alex's hand before letting it go, "Diane, I think I left my chap stick in my purse, come with me?" she asked the older woman. Diane raised a brow, the same reaction Alex would've made, squinting her eyes slightly at Piper before nodding her head. Piper smiled, walking with Diane back to the mud room as Alex let out a silent breath of air, relieved for the moment, she would have to thank Piper later.

"So Alex, Jack's told me you are at Smith studying English Literature, what do you plan to do exactly?" Tiffany asked as she turned back to the stove to check the casserole that was currently cooking in the oven. Alex cleared her throat, trying to think of an answer, she wasn't really sure yet, she just knew that she loved books. "Well I might look into being an English Professor." She said awkwardly. Tiffany nodded, walking over to the sink and washed her hands. "Not a high school or elementary teacher?" she asked Alex. The tall brunette nearly laughed, biting her tongue before saying, "I just think it would be easier to connect with adults." The shorter woman nodded once more as she began taking plates out of the cabinet above the counter. In truth, children made Alex nervous, plus the little smart asses would make her want to do things that wouldn't be considered very legal to most.

Piper turned to Diane in the mud room, trying to assess the situation, she didn't want to piss the older woman off, but she needed to try and calm her down. "Diane, I know that you aren't a fan of religion, but this is really important to Alex. She needs this, she wants this. Can you please just put your differences aside for the night and just try and get along with Jack and his wife?" Diane rolled her eyes, huffing audibly, "I knew you didn't need your fucking chap stick. I don't need to be lectured like a child Piper; I'm a grown ass woman." Piper nodded, feeling guilty and unsure of what to say next, she didn't want to upset her girlfriend's mother, but she wanted Alex to be able to enjoy the night without worrying about Diane taking out Tiffany with a fork to the eye. "Just please, for Alex." Piper reasoned, turning to her purse and pulling out a small tube, pulling the cap off and raising it to her lips, coating them with a light layer of Chap Stick. Diane rolled her eyes, nodding, "Fine."


	19. Sober? I Barely Know Her!

"I'm falling all over myself

Dying to be someone else

I wish you would dare to walk me home

I don't wanna fight this world alone."

-'Heart' by The Pretty Reckless

XXX

Piper walked with Diane back into the kitchen where she found Alex helping Jack set the table. "Do you need any help?" she asked. Tiffany looked up from her salad, smiling at the blonde, "You can help cut vegetables." She held out a knife for Piper to take as she then directed her attention to Diane, "Ms. Vause, you can sit until dinner's ready if you'd like." Diane's eyes nearly fell out of her head as she rolled her eyes. Piper mouthed to her "Be nice." The older woman smiled smugly, a smile Piper was all too familiar with; Alex made that face every time she was up to something. Diane gingerly lowered onto a bar stool so she could watch over Tiffany and Piper as they made the salad.

"Do you have anything to drink?" Alex asked Jack as they finished setting the table. Jack looked up at her, smiling broadly, "Yes, we have iced tea, lemonade, and coconut water. What would you like?" What the fuck is coconut water and why would you want to drink it? Alex thought as she leaned closer to him, "I meant of the alcohol variety." Jack's eyes widened slightly, nodding timidly, "We have wine for special occasions so I guess this would qualify for some." Alex fought the urge to roll her eyes. Did Tiffany really have him that whipped? He was a lawyer for fucks sake! A job like that would surely call for some form of drinking. He motioned for her to follow him down a flight of stairs, down into the basement that doubled as a wine cellar. He looks through the rows of bottles before picking one up, "This one will do." Alex watched him curiously, he was too nice, too much of a gentleman. "Did Tiffany neuter you or something?" She asked allowed, shocking herself. He turned to look at her confused, "Excuse me?" Goddammit Piper! The Foot in mouth disease must be contagious. She quickly tried to recover, "Are you sure you don't have anything stronger then wine?" Jack smirked, there it was, that's how they were related, that fucking smirk that could weaken anyone in the knees if used properly. "I know just the thing." He said, moving over to a chest near the back wall. He unlocked the trunk and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. "Now we're talking." Alex said, grinning.

Tiffany finished tossing the salad and placed it onto the table, "I'm going to go check on the kids, I'll be right back." Piper nodded, turning to Diane. Alex and Jack had been gone for a while, she had seen them going down stairs. She told Diane that she would be right back, and to not say anything if Tiffany came back before her.

Piper found Alex and Jack in the basement, sitting on the floor and passing a bottle back and forth. "What are you doing?" The blonde asked, in fear that she would be too late to talk to a sober Alex. Instead she realized rather quickly that it wasn't Alex who was drunk, but Jack. He was giggling hysterically, which made her wonder how little he had to drink to get to that state. Alex turned to face her, not drunk neither sober she eyed Piper up who was still standing on the bottom stair, "Hey babe, Jack here was just telling me about his college days." Piper felt herself anger quickly, more in fear of what Tiffany's reaction would be to her drunken husband, rather than at Alex for bringing him down there to drink.

"Al, how much have you drank?" Piper asked, slowly walking towards them as if she was in a lion's cage. The tall brunette shrugged, "Just a few swigs." Piper looked to Jack who couldn't keep a straight face and then back at her girlfriend, "We need to sober him up." Alex looked over at Jack and began to laugh, "Tiffany's going to be pissed!" Jack's eyes widened in fear, "Don't tell her, she hates when I drink. That's why I've been going to meetings, trying to better myself for Lance and Emily." Piper's skin turned ashen, "Jesus fuck Al, you're drinking with a recovering alcoholic?!" "Don't let her hear you say that name in vain!" Jack said worriedly. Alex was massaging her temples, sobering herself up as she quickly thought of a way to fix the situation that they were in.

"Jack?" They heard Tiffany at the top of the stairs. "Fuck." Alex said as she looked to Piper for help. Piper sighed, turning to head up the stairs, "He'll be right up, just getting some wine to go with dinner." She reassured Tiffany as she went back to the kitchen with her.

Alex looked around the room quickly, stashing the bottle back into the trunk and then moved over to Jack. Without any other way of sobering him up, she slapped him. "Ow!" He cried. "Get it together, your wife and kids are upstairs right now. Do you want to disappoint them?" she couldn't help but hate herself for what had happened. She knew it was her fault that he had been drinking. She was going to fix this, even if it was the last time she ever got to see him.

Piper sat at the table with Diane to her right and Tiffany at the head of the table. She was beginning to freak out, where was Alex? She looked to Diane who was smiling smugly as if she knew what was going on, either way she was still getting what she wanted by seeing Tiffany get pissed off. Just then Alex came in with Jack who looked a hell of a lot better since Piper had seen him last. Alex quickly took the seat to the left of Piper and watched as Jack sat down between his two children across the table. Diane went to put some of the casserole on her plate when Tiffany spoke up, "Not yet Ms. Vause, we haven't said grace yet." Piper bit her tongue as she watched Diane sit back in her chair and say, "Well excuse the fuck out of me." Fuck. Tiffany's face turned crimson, "Excuse me?" Double fuck. "Tiff, calm down." Jack said, looking between his wife and the older woman. The short brunette turned to him, "Calm down? Look at you, you smell like straight up booze, and doing a piss poor job of trying to act sober." Alex grabbed Piper's hand, "We're going to go." Tiffany stood then, "No, we're going to have dinner. You came all this way." Alex almost was scared at how fast Tiffany's mood changed from enraged to cool and collected.

"Now, I'll lead the grace and then we can eat." Jack said as he linked hands with both Lance and Emily. They all linked hands except for Diane who refused to hold hands with Tiffany. "Mom." Alex warned from the other side of Piper. Diane turned to face her daughter, "What? I don't like her Alex. She's fake, plastic with a need to shove her religion down other people's throats!" Alex clenched her jaw, accidentally grinding Piper's hand in hers. "She's family mom." Diane shook her head, "And so am I, I'm your fucking mother Alex! You just met her today!" The older woman pushed back her chair, causing it to topple over before she left the room, "I'll be in the fucking car when you're ready to take me to a diner." They heard the front door slam as Piper looked to Alex, unsure of what to do. "I'm sorry." Piper said to Tiffany who at this point had her face in her hands. She looked to Jack who was trying to calm down a crying Lance before standing up, pulling Alex to her feet with her. "Thank you for your hospitality, but we're going to be going now." Piper said as she practically dragged Alex out of the house.

Diane sat in the back seat again as Piper decided to take the driver's seat. Alex climbed in beside her, "I can't fucking believe you mom, you just took away any chance of me ever having a family beyond you and your sister who fucking hates me by the way." Diane closed her eyes, suddenly crying, "I'm sorry Al, I didn't mean to freak out. You know how I can get." Alex shook her head, staring out the window as she spoke, "Well those pills you've been taking haven't been any help, they're just magnifying what I've already learned to deal with for years." Piper looked over at her girlfriend, she didn't want Alex to say something she would later regret, "Al." "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Diane asked. Alex shook her head, "Nothing, I'm sorry, you were right. You're my mother, I just met Tiffany today." Piper turned her attention back to the road, "Anybody hungry?" she asked, turning into a diner.

XXX

Later that night, Piper and Alex dropped off Diane at their apartment. Driving back towards Campus, Alex held Piper's hand, "I can't thank you enough for today, you were amazing." Piper smiled, trying to make light of it, "I know." Alex shook her head, "No really, I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts to think about you and what you did for me today." Piper shrugged, "It's not that big of a deal, I was just making sure you didn't lose yourself today. It happens, all I expect is for you to do the same when the occasion calls for it." Alex grinned, "I wouldn't want it any other way. We're supposed to fuck up, we're human. It just makes it that much easier when we have someone to help carry the load." Piper parked the car, turning to face Alex, "I love you." She kissed her then, before getting out of the car and headed towards F dorm. "Now come on, it's been a long day." 


	20. Zombie On Autopilot

"And I will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl.

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye."

-'Say Something' by A Great Big World

XXX

"Come on Mom, you have to go." Alex tried to reason with Diane, but the older woman wouldn't have it. "Alex I told you, I don't like how the chemo makes me feel." Alex sighed, running her hands through her hair in frustration. "Mom, you need to go. Don't you want to get better?" Diane shrugged, crossing her arms across her chest, "I don't see what the point of getting better is if I have to be stuck with needles for hours on end to get there." Alex clenched her hands into fists, turning to walk into the other room. Piper was in class and Alex was supposed be taking her mother to chemotherapy but Diane wasn't being very helpful due to the pain she had been in during the first two sessions. The brunette felt like she was on the verge of tears, "Mom, please. You're all I have left besides Piper, I need you." Diane shook her head, "You've had me for twenty years kid, and I know that doesn't seem long but maybe it is my time. I don't see the point in trying to avoid it, it might not work anyways and then we would've spent all of this money for nothing."

Alex was shaking; she didn't know what to do. She couldn't force her mother into the car without hurting her, but she felt like she had no other choice. Alex smoothed a hand over her brow, "I'm giving you one more chance to go willingly Mom, and then I'm carrying your ass out to the car." Diane chuckled, "Like hell you are. Alex, please just do me this one favor and give it up. A woman knows when it's not going to work. I love you Alex, and I've come to love that girl of yours too. Please just do this one thing without arguing with me, let me live out the rest of my time not in pain." Alex shook her head, she wouldn't give up, and she couldn't. She needed the reassurance of Piper but she wasn't here, and she was coming to her wit's end. "Can you at least just go this one more time? I'll talk to the doctor; maybe he'll know what to do to dull the pain." Diane sighed, looking up into her daughter's pain filled eyes, "Okay, but this is the last time."

Diane sat in the chair that was given to her, closing her eyes as they stuck her with the needle. Alex sat beside her, looking away as they did so, she hated needles and the fact that her mom was being given one in a desperate act of trying to prolong her life, would just cause her to cry more than she already had that day. She pulled a book out of her bag, holding her mother's hand as she started to read. She rubbed calming circles over Diane's worn and the once callused skin of her hand. Alex wasn't usually one for affection, especially in public, but your mother getting cancer and falling in love all within the course of a few months could do something to a person. Dr. Harding came in a few minutes into the session, "Alex, can I speak to you in the hallway for a moment?" She looked up from her book, checking on her mother who had fallen asleep before nodding her head and following the man in the lab coat out of earshot.

He looked very sullen, "Now I know you said that you guys couldn't afford radiation, but without it her cancer has gone on to the third stage. Now, there's not much left we can do except hope that the chemo starts to work." Alex stared at her feet, her mouth dry and her chest filled with future sobs. "She doesn't want to do it anymore." She said in a monotone. Dr. Harding shook his head, "We have to keep doing the chemo if she wants to get better. If there is any chance of her surviving this, it's going to have to be through chemotherapy." Alex nodded, that's what was great about doctors, they tend to spout information you already knew, things that you had already assumed. "I know. She's in a lot of pain; she doesn't want to do it anymore." Alex said in a near whisper. Dr. Harding stuffed his hands into his pockets, "Don't you want to see her get better?" Alex nearly knocked his block off at the assumption that the man was making. "Of course I want to see her get better! She's my fucking mother for fucks sake!" Dr. Harding shook his head, fidgeting with his glasses that were slipping down his nose, "That's not what I meant Miss. Vause; I'm just telling you that if she doesn't continue to do the chemo, your mother isn't going to live longer than ten months from now." Alex felt her chest clench, her ribs suffocating her lungs, "It's her choice. I can't force her to go through the pain just because I can't think of a world without her. I can't be that selfish." She was trying to make sense of it in her head, to tell herself that she was doing the right thing by letting Diane make her own decisions. Dr. Harding nodded, "So today will be her last day of chemotherapy then?" Alex bit her lip, wanting so badly to tell him to continue the therapy, but then she thought of her mother, how ashen she looked beneath that needle. How weak she had become. Alex felt her hands shake, air escaping her throat before she had time to swallow.

"Miss. Vause I'm going to need you to sign the papers, canceling the rest of the chemo." Dr. Harding said, moving over to steady her. "I can't." she said, pushing away from him, her back against the wall as she felt herself begin to shut down. What was she going to do? She couldn't sign those papers, it made it final. That her mother was going to die, that there was no longer anything she could do about it, that there was nothing left for her to convince herself of. There would no longer be anything she could hide behind, no scientific reasons for Diane to live. "Can't my mother sign them?" she asked. Dr. Harding frowned, shaking his head, "I'm sorry, but you're her caretaker, you are the one that has to sign." She had already known the answer before she had asked, but it was a last attempt at trying to get out of feeling guilty. Even if her mother was the one to pull the plug, to stop any chance of her living, Alex would know that she was the one that made it real, that her signature, the pen that she put to that paper, would be the final say. She wasn't sure if she could live with that, knowing that she made the choice in her mother dying without a fight. She would be killing Diane in a way. Who said that her mother wouldn't change her mind next week? She already knew that answer too, like Alex, once Diane made up her mind, she stuck to it. "Okay." She said with a sob, almost silencing her words completely. Dr. Harding nodded, "I will get the papers to finalize everything." He turned and left, leaving Alex in the hallway, alone.

She slid down the wall, pressing her face into her hands, and cried. She had never felt so useless before in her life, so not in control of what was happening around her. It was Diane's choice, but she was voicing it, making it all that much worse. She fumbled to get to the phone that was in her pocket, knowing that Piper was just a phone call away, but she fought the urge to call her. Piper was still in class, she didn't need to worry her just yet. She knew that if she called the blonde, that Piper would leave class early to come to the hospital. Alex couldn't have that, she needed Piper to learn, to be normal, and to study hard and get good grades so she could graduate in a few years. Alex didn't need to worry about her girlfriend's schooling on top of her own. She instead pushed herself to her feet and made her way back into the room her mother was in. Diane was awake now, looking out the window across from where she sat. Alex sat back down in the chair beside her, taking her hand once more, "Mom, I need you to tell me to not sign those papers." She said, almost pleading. Diane looked away from the window and towards her daughter who had become a puddle of tears since she had last seen her. "Alex, I can't do that. I need you to sign them. You know I would do it if I could." Alex shook her head, "I know, but it's almost as if I'm making the choice, that I'm killing you." Diane felt a pang in her chest, her heart slowly cracking open and breaking into shards, sticking her like a million needles into her flesh and muscle. Tears came to her own eyes as she looked at Alex, "Baby, I hate that I'm doing this to you, but it needs to be done. It's my choice Al; I'm making the decision to stop fighting."

"But why, when have you ever stopped fighting? You've been fighting your entire life, why stop now?" Alex asked her voice rough with her tears. Diane shrugged, "Because I'm tired, the reason that I've been holding on for so long is because I was afraid that you would lose your way, that you would lose yourself in the process of trying to be better. But I don't have to worry anymore because I know that you have finally found someone that knows you better than you know yourself. Piper loves you Alex, I can feel it whenever you two are in a room together. I don't have to watch over you anymore, to make sure that you don't fuck up too much." Diane said all of this without a single tear escaping her eyes, drying them before continuing, "That girl may be everything that you aren't, but she is everything that you are as well. Alex I need you to promise me that you won't let her go ever, that you will marry her if that's what your heart wants. Promise me that you will settle your differences every time they rise up, that you will right your wrongs, and point out hers when she makes them. You both need to better yourselves when need be, and that you will not go a day without saying I love you, no matter how much it hurts to admit it. Even if you're fighting, I need you to promise me that you will not go a night without her, that if she leaves, you will run after her." Alex listened to all of this with a confused face; her mother's last wish was for her to love Piper? She didn't understand, her mother had never been able to find the love of her life, so why did it matter whether she kept hers or not?

"But what if she tires of me?" Alex asked, slightly worried. Diane shook her head, "Then find ways to excite her again. I'm telling you Alex, that girl is it for you, whether you want to believe me or not, she's the one. If you let her go, you will spend the rest of your life trying to forget her, to drown her with other faces and substances, but when you wake the next morning, she will be all you can think of." Alex shook her head, "I can't imagine myself without her." Diane nodded, she already knew. Alex shook her head once more, "We're so young though, who says that I'm not just talking crazy?" Diane smiled, "That's the thing, you are talking crazy. If you were sane, you wouldn't be living, you would be coping. Now promise me."

Alex nodded, tears continuing to flow down her face as she forced a smile, "I promise." Diane nodded, looking behind her at Dr. Harding who had just come into the room and was now standing patiently behind Alex. "Now that I no longer have to worry, sign those papers so that I can finally rest. I've been through enough pain to last a lifetime." Alex knew that the pain her mother was referring to wasn't just physical, that Diane had gone through so much in just the last twenty years, that she was finally letting go of the weight she had been struggling to carry on her shoulders. Alex held out her hand for the clipboard the doctor was holding. The pen felt like a weight in her hand, struggling to move it across the page as she signed every line that declared Diane scot-free of pain. Once she had signed the last paper and handed it back to Dr. Harding, he shook her hand, then Diane's. "It was a pleasure to know you." He said to each of them before leaving. "I've always thought that he was an asshat." Diane said as she waited for the nurse to release her of her ball and chain that could be mistaken as an IV stand. "Let's get burgers, I'm starved." Diane said as she stood, taking hold of Alex's hand.

Alex nearly broke down into sobs again at the excitement in her mother's voice, how much longer was she going to hear that? How much longer until cancer swallowed her whole and Alex would no longer recognize her own mother? "How am I going to ever get over losing you?" she asked, getting into the elevator and pressing the button that would take them to the parking garage. Diane smiled, "You aren't losing me, I'm just going away for a while. I'm not lucky enough to be rid of you forever." Alex shook her head, smiling, "I love you too Mom."

XXX

**Three Months Later (May)…**   


Piper received a text from Alex as she was leaving class. Got you a burger in case you're hungry. Piper smiled, quickly replying, telling her that she would be over to the apartment in twenty minutes. She needed to see Nicky first. "Everything alright?" Polly asked as they made their way back to their dorm. Piper shook her head, "Yeah, just Alex texting me about dinner. She's really starting to worry me though. She has been skipping all of her classes to be with Diane, I know that I would do the same thing if I was in her position, but that's the thing, I'm not and it's hard to understand what she's going through." Polly nodded, "Are you afraid you can't give her what she needs?" Piper shook her head, gripping onto her bag tightly, "No, I'm just afraid that I'm going to lose her. It's not looking so good for Diane. You can tell that she is getting sicker and sicker. Alex is going to be so lost without her."

"So what are you going to do?" Polly asked, looking at Piper as they reached the door to the F dorms. "Love her, that's all I can really do is just be there, even if she doesn't want me to be." Polly rolled her eyes, "Of course she'll want you to be there. She loves you Pipes, and she's going to need you. The question is, are you going to be able to buck up and be there for her?" Piper nodded, hoping that she would be able to. "I'm going to go check on Nicky before I head out, I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed Polly on the cheek before making her way down the hall towards Nicky and Alex's dorm room. She knocked once before opening it, finding the crazed red head upside down on her bed, head hanging off the end as she flicked the side of her open mouth to make popping noises. "Stimulating Nick, really." She said in greeting, flopping down onto Alex's bed.

"Well hello to you too." Nicky said, turning upright to face her. "What do I owe the pleasure?" she asked Piper. Piper shrugged, "It's just been three long months since I've really been able to see you. I'm always either in class or at the apartment, I've missed you." Nicky smirked, "I've missed you too, but it's been a lot to handle I'm sure with the cancer and all." Piper nodded, saddened by the reminder, "It's been really hard on Alex, she's not going to class, and she's been burying herself in work. I rarely see her, she stays with her mom during the day, and then by the time I get over there she has already left for work." "What, has she taken on another job besides the library?" Nicky asked curiously. Piper shook her head, "No she just stays there way past closing time. She won't come home until after midnight and I only know that because of the indent she leaves in the bed. She's up before I even wake; already back over with her mom." Nicky shook her head, "Sounds rough, she's going to have trouble passing this year, the school year is over in two weeks." Piper nodded, "I know. I just wish that she would talk to me, we're supposed to be moving in together next month, but I can't get her alone in a room with me let alone talk to her."

Nicky shrugged, "Give her some time, she'll talk eventually." Piper sighed, "That's the thing Nick, that's all I've been giving her is time. Three months of it, it's as if the moment we got back from Jack's she's just shut down." The shorter woman moved over to Alex's bed, embracing her tightly, "She'll get there Chapman, just think, she is losing the most important thing in her life and she isn't expecting you to be there for her, but you need to make sure she knows that you aren't leaving too." Piper nodded, "I know, I love her so much and I feel useless. I can't do anything to make her feel better; I can't protect her from this. All I can do is stand there and watch Diane get weaker and weaker and Alex lose herself a little more and more each day." Nicky pulled back to look Piper in the eye, "That's all you can do really, hold her hand and help her get through this by making sure she wakes up every morning. You need to push her no matter what she says." Piper nodded, "Thanks Nick, I don't know what I'd do without you." Nicky shoved her lightly, "Don't get soft on me now Chapman, save that sappy shit for Superbitch, I don't need you fucking up my rep." Piper smiled, standing to her feet, "I love you Nichols." Nicky rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love you too. Now get the fuck out of here."

XXX

"Hey, Diane." Piper greeted the older woman as she shut the front door behind her. "Hey sweetie." The older woman said. "You're dinner is in the oven." Piper took her food out and put it on a plate, pouring herself a drink before joining Diane in the living room. "Alex is at work." Diane informed her as she sat down in the armchair. Piper liked to sit there because the blanket that draped over the back of it smelled like the brunette. "I figured as much." The blonde said as she unwrapped her burger. "I hate to see the two of you this way." Diane said as she shut off the TV. Piper took a sip of her drink, looking to the older woman, "What way?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Diane shrugged, "You're not talking, you rarely see her and she's burying herself in the fucking dewy decimal system."

Piper nodded, "I'm afraid she's losing herself." Diane shook her head, "It's my fault, I made her sign those papers." "No, it's not your fault at all." Piper said, taking a bite of her sandwich and swallowing before continuing, "I think it's just getting to her, the fact that you aren't going to be here in seven months." Diane nodded, "I know, but she can't just run away from the problem. If I have taught her anything it would be that. She needs to at least talk to you." Piper sighed; she knew that she hadn't been the best of help lately. When Alex had come home that day from the hospital, after signing those papers to stop her mom's treatment, she had been broken. She had collapsed into Piper's arms that night, barely able to breath in between sobs and Piper had stroked her hair. Piper had never been the best of dealing with emotions, clamming up whenever she saw someone else cry, feeling like she needed to pet them like a dog every time a person's face fell due to sadness. "I'm going to move in with my sister tonight." Diane said suddenly. Piper looked up, confused. "You are?" Alex must not have known about this because Alex's Aunt wasn't her biggest fan.

"You guys need to have your own place; I'm just getting in the way." Diane said. Piper shook her head, "No you're not, besides we haven't even moved in together yet. It's going to be another two weeks anyways. You don't need to go." Diane ignored her, "You need to take me, because Alex won't, I know she won't. She feels like she needs to take care of me, but she's fucking up her own life in doing so. I'll be fine with Kathleen; I just need to be able to get there."

Piper bit her lip, what was she going to do? If she helped Diane, Alex would hate her, but if she didn't help Diane, then she would hate her. She knew that Diane going to live with her sister would be for the better, she would still be taken care of, just not by Alex. "Okay, we'll leave in an hour." Alex wouldn't be home until late anyways, Piper would be back before she knew she had left. Kathleen only lived a couple of towns over anyways; she only went to New York to visit Diane when she had lived there, so she would be home. Diane smiled, "Thank you, Alex will more than likely give you a hard time, but make sure she sees why what we are doing is the right thing to do." Piper nodded, "Of course, your daughter will be safe with me, always."

XXX

Piper returned home from Kathleen's late, crawling into her own bed in her dorm. Polly was out with Pete again so she had the room all to herself. She was finally able to fall into a nice sleep when she was awoken at 2am to Alex's shaking hands. "Al, what's wrong?" "Where is she?" Alex asked immediately. Piper shook her head, "Diane left you a note back at the apartment." The brunette nodded, her eyes shining with tears in the dark, "I know, but why? I can take care of her, better than my stupid fucking aunt could." Piper sat up in the bed, holding her hands out to pull Alex to her, but the taller woman pushed her hands away, "No Piper, I need my mom." Piper sighed, "Alex, Diane and I both agreed that this would be best for you. You haven't been to school in over a week." Alex shook her head, "I'm dropping out." Piper's eyes widened, "You're what?" Alex stood to her feet, "I'm dropping out of Smith."

Piper shook her head, "Al, you can't be serious; you're just going to throw it all away?" Alex nodded, "It's no longer what I want Pipes, I no longer feel like I'm doing the right thing." Piper stood, staring at her girlfriend, "What don't you feel right about?" Alex sighed, trying not to cry as she looked anywhere but at Piper, "I don't know what I want anymore, I'm losing my fucking mom Piper! I don't feel right about anything anymore!" Piper grabbed a hold of Alex's hand, holding it over her heart, "Does this feel right?" Alex stared at her hand on Piper's chest, tears beginning to spill over and down her cheeks. Piper held Alex's hand to her lips, kissing each fingertip, "Does this feel right?" Alex's lip quivered, of course it felt right, it felt fucking amazing. "Piper." She whispered, almost pleading for her to see it her way. Piper shook her head, "You've been pushing me away Al, your mom sees it, I see it, I love you so much Alex and I want to be there for you." Alex shook her head, pulling her hand away, "I don't deserve it, I don't deserve you." "Why? Why don't you deserve me Alex? Why don't you deserve to be happy?" Alex felt herself begin to shake with pent up anger that had been building ever since she signed those fucking papers. "Because my mother's dying! I don't deserve to be happy when she's sick and withering away into nothing!" Piper was crying now too, moving closer to Alex, pulling her to her with such force that it nearly knocked the air out of both their lungs. "You deserve everything Alex, you deserve to be happy. Your mother wants you to be happy and in love. She wants you to be able to move on once she's gone, how can she let go when you're walking around like a fucking zombie on auto pilot?"

Alex clung to Piper, sobs wracking her entire body as she felt her knees weaken. "I'm so sorry." Alex cried. Piper pushed them down onto the bed, making Alex the little spoon as she wrapped her blankets around them. "It's okay, I've got you and I'm never going to let go."


	21. Sargent Hard Ass

"We keep this love in a photograph

We make these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

And time's forever frozen still."

-'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran

XXX

**Two Days Later (May)…**   


"Hey beautiful." Piper said, poking Alex's uncovered leg with her toe. She was standing to the side of the bed, hands full with coffee and breakfast. Alex groaned, rolling away from her, wrapping the comforter around her bare shoulders. Piper smiled, "Well good morning to you too sunshine." "Why aren't you in bed?" Alex asked into her pillow. "I wasn't done with you yet." Piper grinned even wider, setting their coffee and food onto the desk, "Could've fooled me with all of that snoring you were doing." Alex rolled back to face her, green eyes looking up into blue, "I don't snore." Piper held up two fingers in measurement, "Maybe just a little?" Alex threw her pillow at the blonde, smiling when it successfully hit her in the face. "At least I don't drool." Piper gapped before saying, "Well considering who I sleep next to, you should be happy drooling is all that I do." Alex smirked, "I would not hold it against you if you dry humped me in your sleep." Piper winked at her before turning back to the coffee, "I brought you a present because you are just so good to me." Alex chuckled, taking her cup from Piper, "You have no idea how hard it is to have to put up with you."

"Is that so?" Piper asked as she took a sip from her own cup. Alex nodded, "Why do you think I kiss you so much?" Piper shrugged, "I just figured that I was just too irresistible." Alex laughed, "Nope, it's to get you to stop yapping." Piper threw her pillow back at her, missing Alex by an inch. The brunette stuck her tongue out at her as Piper held up a finger, as if getting ready to lecture her, "Don't be sticking your tongue out at me Vause unless you plan on using it." Alex smiled cheekily at her, raising a brow, "Who said I wasn't going to use it Chapman?" Piper blushed crimson, turning back to the bag of donuts she had sitting on the desk, "I got breakfast too." Alex looked at the bag before saying, "Woman, you sure know to make a girl fall in love with you more and more each day." Piper scrunched up her nose, "Cheeseball." Alex smirked, taking a donut out of the bag and taking a bite, talking with her mouth full she said, "You love it." Piper chuckled, "Almost as much as your eating habits."

XXX

Piper met Alex in between classes beneath their tree. Piper kissed her briefly before speaking, "How is she?" Alex shrugged, "Nicky is Nicky, and the scary thing is I don't know this Nicky." Piper shook her head, "Neither do I, Lorna must have really meant something to her to be this worked up. The thing is though, since I've known her, I have never seen Nicky get caught up in a girl before like she is now." Alex shrugged, "It happens to the best of us." Piper smiled, kissing her again, "But seriously, what should we do? I mean, she's still deflecting with humor so that's a good sign." Alex nodded, "Yeah if Nichols stopped cracking jokes I'd be running for the hills." Piper chuckled lightly, "We should do something, Polly and Pete wanted to do a double date thing at the drive-in tonight. Let's bring Nicky with us." Alex shook her head, "So she can feel even more left out? I think she'd rather sit in a holding cell full of dudes." Piper sighed, "You're probably right, wouldn't hurt to ask though." Alex nodded, "I'll ask her in my next class, I'll have to wake her but shouldn't be a problem." Piper smiled, "Thank you, I love you. I'll see you later." She kissed Alex once more before heading towards her biology class.

XXX

They all headed to the drive-in in Pete's jeep. Nicky only came because she was bribed by Alex with free food. "No orgasms in my boyfriend's car." Polly said as they pulled into a spot, the sun still had yet to set. She was looking at Alex and Piper in the back seat. Pete cut the engine, "Hey, doesn't the owner of said car get a say?" Polly looked over at him, "What's your say?" Pete smirked, looking in the review mirror where he could see the three girls in the back seat, "I say do whatever feels right." Polly slapped his arm, "No you don't get a say." "Gross." Alex said. Nicky chuckled, "I knew there was always a reason why I loved you Pete, you fucking perv." She was grinning though, wanting to play more into what he had started, "Hey, you know what would really cheer me up, a threesome." She watched as Polly cringed in the passenger seat, kicking her chair to piss her off even more. "In your dreams." Alex said, not skipping a beat. Pete guffawed, "Aw, but she's sad." Piper smirked, "Shut up, you just want to watch."

Pete grinned from ear to ear, taking notice to Polly who had climbed out of the car and headed towards the snack stand, "If I get Polly drunk enough, she'll join." Alex chuckled, "Is that supposed to make it more appealing?" Piper shook her head, "That literally makes me want to vomit out of embarrassment." Alex looked over to the blonde, wrapping her arm around her shoulders, leaning in to whisper in her ear, "I only want you babe." Piper blushed as Nicky rolled her eyes, "If you two don't cut it out I'm going to shove my foot up both your asses." Pete laughed, "Kinky." He climbed out of the car as Nicky did the same. "Alright Sargent Hard ass!" Alex shouted out of the window as her and Piper fell into a fit of laughter.

XXX

"Oh Christ on a fucking cracker!" Nicky shouted from the back of the car. "What?" Piper asked, mildly concerned for her friend, looking up from her knitting. "I got popcorn in between my tits!" Nicky said, frustrated. "I could help you with that." Pete said jokingly, not taking his eyes off of the screen as he received another slap from Polly. "Sorry Peteyboy but I take the saying 'holes before poles' very seriously." Alex nearly spit out her soda, "Shit that was beautiful Nichols." "I know right, maybe we can get Grandmother Chapman over here to embroider it on a couple of pillows for us." Piper looked up from her knitting, glasses adorning her face, "You're just shocked that Alex isn't the only one that can look sexy in glasses." Alex smirked, pulling the blonde closer to her side, "Damn right." Polly shushed them which caused Nicky to kick her seat again, "Sorry Princess, but we're talking here." Then she looked back over at Alex and Piper, "Disgusting, both of you. Can't you see I'm mourning over here?" Alex laughed, "What the fuck are you talking about, Morello isn't dead." Nicky rolled her eyes, sighing dramatically, "No but my sex life now is." Piper smiled reassuringly, "Why did she call it off again?" Nicky shook her head, "Fucking Christopher."

Alex raised a brow, "Who?" Nicky nodded, "Exactly."


	22. Unexpected BFFs

"Don't you worry there my honey

We might not have any money

But we've got our love to pay the bills."

-'You and I' by Ingrid Michaelson

XXX

The next two weeks went by without a hitch, but Piper was beginning to see Alex recede back into her shell once more as seven months turned into six. The blonde was starting to lose her patience with Alex's short responses and lack of interest in conversation. Alex went back to working all hours of the day and going to see her mom. Piper barely saw her, and when she did, the only thing the brunette took interest in was curling up with her as they slept, as if she was afraid of losing her. Piper knew there was more to Alex's actions, but couldn't find herself able to care too much because she was starting to feel like she was coming second to Alex's work. Diane being sick was something she could deal with, Alex going to see her every day was understandable, but she hated that Alex spent so much time away from her. It was starting to wear her thin.

**Three Weeks Later (June)…**

Piper stood in the middle of their apartment, trying to figure out what color to paint the room. "Plum or ochre?" she asked Alex as the taller woman carried a box through the front door. "What's ochre?" Alex asked, placing the box onto the counter heavily, wiping the sweat off of her brow. Piper turned to look at her, smiling as she took her in, "It's like a yellow pumpkin-y color." She walked towards Alex, grinning wider. "What are you looking at me like that for?" Alex asked. Piper smirked, running her hands down Alex's arms, "Wouldn't you like to know?" She leaned in, kissing Alex's neck, sucking lightly on the pulse point, tasting sweat and her vanilla body-wash. "God you're so sexy when you're all sweaty." Her lips traveled up to her ear, tugging on the lobe with her teeth, making Alex shiver with need. "Well you know better than to be anywhere near me after you do your runs." Alex said, her chuckle husky, sending every nerve in Piper's body on fire.

Alex felt Piper's hands begin to travel up beneath her shirt, stroking her back. "Babe, we can't do this right now. I have to go see my mom and then I have to go to work." Piper frowned, continuing to kiss along Alex's jaw. Alex sighed, enjoying the feeling of Piper's lips on her skin. It had been too long since they had last had sex. "Alex it's been over a week, please." Piper whispered. Alex felt herself swallow, pulling away, "I'm sorry Piper, but I can't. I have to go." It was Saturday, and Alex had gotten a job as a waitress at the local pub. The problem with this job though was that Alex didn't come home until at least 3am and she always came home reeking of alcohol. Piper knew that Alex was drinking, from the way she walked into their room at night, sometimes she would even trip or stub her toe on the end of their bed. They had been living in the apartment for a week and were finally putting the final touches on their new home, but it still didn't feel like home when the blonde spent most of her time there alone.

Piper pulled away from Alex, and moved over to the box on the counter. Opening it and pulling out books that she had packed from her dorm. "Pipes don't do that." The blonde continued pulling out books, scanning the titles as she went, trying to relax, "Do what?" she asked. Alex sighed, running a hand over her face, "Ignore me." Piper rolled her eyes, still refusing to face Alex, "I'm not ignoring you, I'm just unboxing my books." The brunette shook her head, "Fine, I'm going to get a shower before I go." She left the room, stripping off her shirt as she went, knowing fully well that Piper wasn't even watching her. Piper heard the shower turn on as she pulled the final book from the box. She couldn't stand being mad at Alex, but she made it so easy. She carried the books over to the bookshelves that lined the living room walls, trying to decide how to organize them. She decided to go by genre.

Alex dried herself off before getting dressed, pulling on the standard cargo skirt and black t-shirt that just fit over her chest with the name of the pub across it. Normally Piper's eyes would eat her up in this uniform, but when Alex told her she was headed out, the blonde wouldn't even look at her. She made a step to get closer, possibly kiss her on the cheek before she left, whisper an 'I love you', but she knew that none of those gestures would fix the growing pain that she was causing her. "Al, don't. Just go." Piper said, her back still turned as she placed the books one-by-one onto the shelves. The brunette huffed audibly, knowing how hard it was for Piper to keep putting up with her. Alex hadn't been very vocal to Piper about how she was feeling, she was barely there as it was and originally when she would come home late the first week after the night her mom had moved in with her aunt, she would just fall into bed and Piper would curl into her side, they would sometimes make love, and other times they would just fall into a calming sleep. But now when Alex would come home, Piper would move away from her in bed, teetering on the edge some nights. When they did kiss it was usually only a goodbye or at moments like now, Piper's attempt at trying to keep in touch with Alex.

Alex knew that she was fucking things up. School ended and instead of spending more time with her girlfriend, Alex had just picked up more shifts during the weekdays at the library, and earned longer hours at the bar to keep her away at night. The reason as to why she was working so much was a desperate attempt to keep herself busy, to not think about her mother's impending death, or about a future with Piper. She wanted so badly to be with Piper, to not have the opportunity to fall in love with anyone else ever, but she also started to worry about money. How was she going to pay the rent when Piper was still in school? She had dropped out even after Piper's many attempts to keep her enrolled for at least another year, but Alex wouldn't hear any of it, she was sticking by her choice. She needed to be able to bring in a decent income, to be able to take care of Piper so she didn't have to worry about anything other than her classes. Alex knew that it was wrong, but she wanted Piper to understand, she just wasn't sure how to put her thoughts into words. She was afraid that Piper wouldn't get it though. That she would get sick and tired of waiting around for her and just leave.

Piper listened as she heard the front door shut, finally facing away from the shelves and looked around the room. It felt empty, like she was alone, even when Alex managed to show up. She plopped down into the armchair and pulled the blanket that lay over the back of it over her face, inhaling the lingering scent of vanilla. She wanted to cry. Piper wasn't sure of what to do, all she could give Alex was time, all she could do was love her, but she was tired of waiting, and she was tired of being pushed away. She was being pushed away so often now a days that she found herself beginning to push back, not allowing Alex to spoon with her at night, or like now she didn't let her kiss her goodbye. Her face fell into her hands; she immediately regretted her childish decision, what if Alex got hit by a car today and died? She would only have their latest argument fresh in her memory. She couldn't even remember the last time she told her that she loved her. It had to have been at least a few days. "God I'm such a fucking idiot!" She yelled, still not getting the release that she needed. She decided that she would go for a run, hoping that that would take her mind off of things.

XXX

"Hi Mom." Alex greeted as she walked around her aunt and into the living room where Diane was seated. "Alex." The older woman said, not bothering to look up at her daughter. "I know you told me to stop visiting you so much." Alex said, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "Only because I know that you're on the outs with Piper again. You two used to come visit me together, but the last week it's only been you." Alex hung her head, staring at a crease that the vacuum had left in the carpet. "It's good to see you too." Diane rolled her eyes, "You are here every day kid, the time you are spending here is time you are spending away from Piper." Alex didn't respond as Diane looked at Alex's shirt before continuing, "You work too much, you're turning into me." Alex nodded, "Which is why you would know how hard it is to get a decent pay." Diane shook her head, "Money isn't your problem Alex, I know that much. You're trying to hide from your problems, burying them underneath books and tips, and I know you've started smoking again." Alex sighed, that was something that she was trying to keep from Piper. She didn't think that anyone would be able to notice, but she didn't think about her mother.

"Learn from me and quit while you're ahead." Diane said. Alex sighed; drinking and smoking were her only way of release these days. She couldn't imagine herself turning to drugs, but it did make her think of that guy that she had met when she had gone to see her father play. It took everything in her not to call him up. "It's not that easy." Alex finally said, voicing not only about the smoking but the hiding and avoiding as well. Diane shifted on the couch, patting the cushion beside her for Alex to sit. "You haven't been smoking long enough to be talking like that. This is about Piper. Alex listen, if anything was as easy as quitting smoking, it wouldn't be worth it. Love is hard, and it's a constant force that you need to work at. Quit waitressing, and go home to your girlfriend, haven't I taught you anything?" Alex smiled sadly, knowing that all of her mother's lessons would soon be fading memories. "I don't know what to do, I want her to live a happy life, and I know I'm not giving her that right now. You should've seen her when I left, she wouldn't even look at me. I haven't heard her say I love you in over three days. I just want to be able to give her things, more than just my love." Diane shook her head, "But that's all that she needs, and I'm sure that's all she wants."

Alex sighed, she couldn't quit her job, she would just have to figure out another way.

XXX

Alex sat at the bar, her shift over and the pub now closed, but she couldn't bring herself to stand up and go home. She knew that if she were to climb off of her stool right now she would probably fall over. She had drunk enough to put any sailor to shame. "Alex, I think it's time you go home." James said. He was the bartender on the weekends and he had taken pity on Alex after her fifth shot, cutting her off. He had only given her beer after that. Alex nodded, standing slowly as she gripped tightly to the bar. He slid a tumbler filled with water over to her, "Drink this first." She gulped it down, handing the glass back to him before grabbing her apron and bag; she headed out the door, taking notice to it being close to 4am. Piper was going to be fucking fuming.

It took her around fifteen minutes to get home, thinking she had lost her shoes twice before realizing that they had never left her feet. She tried to unlock the door quietly but realized half way through opening the door that the light was on in the living room. She gulped, looking quickly around the apartment, hoping that Piper had just left the light on by accident, but knowing fully well that she wouldn't have. She stumbled to pull off her shoes, taking notice to Piper who was sitting in the armchair, staring right at her. Her face was blank as she watched Alex's every move.

"It's late." Alex said suddenly, her voice slurring the words slightly. Piper nodded, completely unfazed, "So it would seem." Alex felt her skin crawl at the angry undertone to her girlfriend's voice. She had fucked up royally this time. "Piper." She began. "Alex stop, you are drunker than I have ever seen you and it's not to mention an hour after your shift." Alex sighed, going into the kitchen and getting herself another glass of water, trying to sober some so she could actually pay attention to what Piper was saying.

She could feel Piper's eyes on her back as she drank over the sink. Placing her cup into it, she turned slowly, "I don't know what you want me to say." Piper grinded her teeth together, her infamous temper beginning to bubble over. "I would like you talk to me, let me know why you'd rather be out drinking than at home in my arms." Alex scoffed, "You won't let me near you in bed!" Piper shook her head, "Because I know that there was somewhere you'd rather be, that you waited until the early hours of the morning to share a bed with me, as if it wasn't a choice but an obligation." Alex rolled her eyes, "You are anything but an obligation Piper." The blonde shrugged, "Could've fooled me, I rarely see you anymore so it would be a surprise for me to be able to actually understand why you do the things you do." Alex shifted her weight from one foot to the other, feeling herself start to lose control, hearing herself begin to raise her voice, something she never did, "I'm sorry Piper for not being able to take care of you like you're used to! Believe me, no one wants you more than I do, I want to give you the world Pipes, but I can't. I've gone as far as thinking about finding that drug dealing guy my father knows, work for him. I'd be able to give you a big house then. You'd never have to work if you didn't want to." The brunette said all of this with an exasperated voice, her hands now gripping the kitchen counter behind her.

Piper was in tears now, "You don't get it Alex; it's not money that I want!" Alex bit her lip, tears beginning to stream down her own face, "Then what Piper? What the fuck do you want from me?!" Piper felt like tearing her own hair out, "That's just fucking it Alex! I want you! Ever since your mother has gotten sicker, you've been pushing me away! You're like cold steel in my hands! You won't let me touch you!"

Alex shook her head as the blonde continued, "I know you feel guilty, that somehow you think that your mom is being punished because you're finally happy. It's fucked; the whole situation is, but Al you can't keep leaving me in the dark like this!" Alex felt herself stiffen, "Than I'll buy more lights." Piper nearly growled as Alex wiped the snot off of her upper lip, asking now what she was worried about for the past few weeks, "Are you going to leave me? It wouldn't be the first time someone has walked out on me." Alex was telling the truth, but she was playing it off as if Piper's absence wouldn't destroy her. Alex knew that if Piper left, she had no doubt that she would be following her mother into an early grave. After her mother is gone, Piper will be all that she has left. It scared Alex that she had let someone in so close, that her axis would fall if the blonde left her orbit.

Piper shuddered at the thought, hating herself even more for the answer, "This isn't healthy Alex, you spend hours driving back and forth from your aunt's house, you work yourself to the bone, and you come home blindly drunk expecting me not to notice! Alex I don't think you realize how much your actions hurt me! I fucking love you Alex, more than you will ever know, but you're a fucking idiot, and I'm a fucking idiot for loving you."

Alex shook her head, choking on her tears, "You don't mean that." Piper shook her head rapidly, "Alex, if you don't change. If you don't start going about things in a smarter way, I'm going to leave. As much as it will kill me, I can't watch you crash and burn anymore!" Alex wanted to scream, "I love you, but right now I fucking hate you!" she bit out, immediately regretting it as she watched the blonde's face fall.

Piper blinked, her anger turning white hot, "Why, because I'm stating the facts? Because I'm telling you things that you don't want to hear?" Alex growled, "Fuck you!" Piper clenched her fists, "I can't take this anymore. Drink yourself into oblivion; lock yourself in our room for all I care!" Piper grabbed her bag and stomped towards the door. "Where are you going?" Alex asked, her anger suddenly dissolved. Piper's voice wavered as she spoke, "Out." Alex watched as Piper stormed out before sliding to the floor in a pile of tears.

XXX

Piper had spent the rest of the early morning roaming the streets until she found a diner that was open. She called Polly and then Nicky to meet her.

"What do you mean you left?" Polly asked an hour later as they sat at a booth, Polly sat next to her as Nicky sat across from both of them. Piper sipped her coffee, "I got pissed off and I left." Nicky stared at her, not yet saying anything. Polly rubbed Piper's shoulder lightly, "What did you guys fight about?" Piper stared at the table, "Money, she kept saying that she wanted to be able to take care of me, but I don't know why. I can pull the weight just as much as she can." Nicky finally spoke, "I think it might be because you come from money so you have it ingrained in your mind set a certain amount of income, and then on top of that she had nothing growing up. She wants the best for you and on top of that her mom's dying. Don't you think you should give her a break Piper?" The blonde shook her head, "I just want her to talk to me. She came home drunker than I had ever seen her last night." Nicky and Polly both sighed, looking at each other before Polly said, "Go home right now and hold her. Don't say anything just yet; she's probably a fucking mess right now after everything that happened." Piper thought about it, "She doesn't work on Sundays, but she does go to see Diane." Nicky rolled her eyes, "I think Diane can handle one day without her daughter up her ass." Polly agreed as Piper looked between the two, "What are you two BFFs now?" Nicky shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee, "Only where you're concerned."

XXX

Alex was curled up in a ball beneath the comforter, not bothering to take off her uniform beforehand. Piper was gone, and she was probably not coming back. She couldn't help but think that she deserved this, that it was only fate carrying out the inevitable with Piper leaving. She began to sob, how was she supposed to cope? How was she supposed to find a reason to live everyday now that there would soon be none?

Piper shut the door to the apartment quietly, hoping that Alex was still in bed. She kicked off her shoes, knowing fully well that a few words and an embrace wouldn't fix all of their problems, but it would be a start. She tiptoed to the bedroom, finding the door slightly ajar with the sound of muffled crying coming from the room. Her heart broke instantly hearing it. Alex wasn't one to cry, she could only think of one other time where Alex had truly cried in front of her, and that was when she had her mother moved away from her. She slipped out of her leggings, the tank top coming next as she crawled into the bed in her undergarments.

Alex felt the mattress dip beside her, finding herself holding her breath, her sobs quiet for the moment. She felt a familiar pair of arms wrap around her, pulling her back into Piper's body. Alex couldn't help but cling to her, finding fresh sobs escaping her lips. Piper rubbed a soothing hand up and down her back as Alex spoke, "Please don't leave me." Piper felt as if her heart had stopped, feeling it split and shatter into a million pieces at Alex's broken words. "I couldn't even if I wanted to." She said, "I love you too much." Alex wrapped her arms tighter around the blonde, "Say it again." Piper smiled slightly, "I love you." Alex leaned up, looking into Piper's eyes, "Again." Piper stared at her, "I love you." The brunette closed her eyes, squeezing the unshed tears back, "Make me believe you." Piper didn't skip a beat as she crashed her lips to Alex's, pulling away for a moment so that she could remove her shirt. Alex clung to her, never wanting to let go, ever.


	23. Paint Covered Hooligans

"Darling, hold me in your arms the way you did last night

And we'll lie inside for a little while, here oh

I could look into your eyes until the sun comes up

And we're wrapped in light, in life, in love

Put your open lips on mine and slowly let them shut

For they're designed to be together, oh

With your body next to mine our hearts will beat as one

And we're set alight, we're afire love."

-'Afire Love' by Ed Sheeran

XXX

Piper ran her fingertips up and down Alex's arm, holding her close to her as she slept. They had spent multiple hours having sex, which followed up with a bunch of crying from both of them. Piper was finally able to get Alex to sleep, promising that she would be there when she woke up.

The sun poured in through the cracks of the curtains, shining across the hardwood floor. Piper looked to the clock, 7:35am. It was too fucking early on a Sunday morning for her to be awake let alone thinking the way that she was. She didn't want to ever have to see Alex so scared ever again. Piper didn't want Alex to ever think that she would leave her. She felt Alex begin to stir in her arms, turning on her side into her, an arm now draped over her stomach. Piper pressed a kiss to her forehead; she never wanted to forget how this felt like ever again. She didn't want to have to bite her tongue and hold her breath every time Alex came home late, to be mad at her because she didn't understand the strength of her own actions. She knew that Alex had a lot of shit to deal with; a lot of dark memories, but Piper also knew that she had to deal with similar things as well. She had to deal with the monsters in her closet just like Alex had to deal with the skeletons in her own.

Piper's mother for one, she had to deal with the fact that she couldn't shut Carol out forever. Her and Carol had their differences, but she needed her mom. Alex losing Diane was making her realize that she couldn't take her family for granted. She had talked to her father and Cal in the months since Thanksgiving dinner, but her mother had stayed silent towards her. She had pushed her mother away; she was the one that would have to make the first step in pulling her back into her life.

"Babe, have you slept at all?" Alex asked her voice groggy with sleep. Piper snapped out of her thoughts, moving her gaze down to the beautiful woman that lay in her arms, "I haven't been able to." Alex reached up, her fingers tracing the dark circles that were beneath Piper's eyes. "Did you sleep okay?" she asked her. Alex shrugged, "I didn't dream at all, so that's something." Piper shook her head, "Actually you dream every night but you don't always remember them." Alex raised a brow, "Alright Einstein." She ruffled her blonde waves as she spoke once more, "You never cease to amaze me." Piper smirked lightly, "It was just basic psychology." Alex grunted, "Stop you're making me wet." They laughed, "Well then get a cold shower because I'm tired." Alex leaned up on one elbow, "That's okay; I'll do all the work, not like it'll be any different than usual." Piper gapped, "Hey, I spend just as much time down south as you." Alex gave her a look before Piper corrected herself, "Okay, maybe you visit more often, but that's not my fault you have an addiction!" Alex chuckled, shaking her head as she began to kiss Piper's neck, "So what? Sue me if you are so inclined!" Piper smirked, "Nah, I like the benefits too much."

XXX

Alex finally allowed Piper to sleep after three more orgasms to tack onto the three from the night before. "I spoil you too much." Alex said, lightly chuckling as she disentangled herself from the sheets and padded her way into the bathroom. She was going to meet up with Nicky and possibly Polly and Pete later. For once, worrying about her mother wasn't the first thing she thought of when she woke up. It made her feel guilty realizing that, but Piper would've assured her that it was okay, and actually kind of a good thing. Alex needed to stop drowning in her own guilt, mostly because the guilt wasn't something that she should be feeling. Her mother's cancer wasn't induced from her happiness, but from her mother's own nasty smoking habit that had started when Diane was around fifteen.

A lot of people have gotten cancer; her mother wasn't going to be immune to it. She just never thought that she would be losing her mother so young. She had Alex when she was only nineteen, who wanted to die at the age of 39? It made Alex sick to think that people have lived to be over 100 and her mother wasn't even going to get to the half-way point. She quickly got a shower and got dressed, kissing a sleeping Piper on the forehead and leaving her a note on her pillow.

XXX

"Well as I live and breathe." Nicky said, smirking as she pulled Alex into a bone crushing hug. "Missed you too." Alex said, pulling away and sitting back down at the table. They had decided to meet at Mod's because they found it only fitting. "How are you holding up?" Nicky asked as she sipped from her mug. Alex shrugged, "I've been better, but I've certainly been worse too." The red head nodded, "How's Diane?" Alex set her cup down, "She's doing good, taking all of it in stride." Nicky smiled, "Sounds like you're just like her." Alex sighed, "I worry more than she does."

"Who wouldn't?" Nicky asked. Alex took a large gulp of much need caffeine. "It's just that Piper has been so good to me, even when we fought she still came home." Nicky grinned, "Yeah thanks to yours truly." Alex raised a brow, "Really?" Nicky shrugged, "Super bitch may have a helped a bit too, I guess." Alex smirked before it sunk in; Piper wasn't planning on coming home? She had to be talked into it? She shook her head in disbelief, "Piper was really going to leave me?" Nicky's face scrunched up in confusion, "Vause, that girl is in too deep to leave you. She loves you way too much." Alex relaxed some, still on edge though as she asked, "But you had to talk her into coming home yesterday?" Nicky shrugged, "She was pissed, what did you expect? We just made her see what she already knew." "Which was?" Alex pressed. Nicky sighed heavily, "That she loves you and needs to support you through the hardest time in your life. Chapman may be selfish, but she ain't that selfish. She just wasn't seeing clearly with that damn temper of hers, could knock a fucking cow over if she wanted to."

Alex chuckled, she had never seen Piper's temper before last night, but she could only agree with what her bushy haired friend was saying. "I guess you're right." Nicky smirked, "When am I not?" "Alright, don't get too cocky." Alex said as she finished her coffee. The red head made a disgusted face, "Nothing with the word cock in it should ever be related to me." The taller of the two chuckled, "You sure know how to get a girl to laugh." Nicky grinned, "It's my job, if you get too depressed I have to deal with the Chapman fury."

XXX

Piper woke up around 4pm, finding herself to be alone. She rolled over to face Alex's pillow, finding a piece of paper resting on top. Hey babe went out to see Nicky. Meet up with us around 6pm for dinner. Polly and Pete will be there too. XO Alex.

She grinned from ear to ear; she had just enough time to get a long shower, one of her most favorite things. It always relaxed her, to be enveloped in the steam, to have hot water spill over her and glide down her back. It was what kept her grounded, whether it be after waking up, after a run, or after a long day of classes, the walls of the shower kept her sane.

After her shower, she quickly got dressed, deciding on a pair of army green jeans, a cream colored tank top and a brown knit cardigan. She pulled on her black boots with a chunky heel that zipped up the side before leaving their apartment. She called Alex who picked up on the third ring. "Hey babe." Piper grinned at the nick name, "Hey, where are we having dinner?" "Just at that burger joint at the end of Uni. Street." Perfect, Piper thought before saying, "I'll be there in ten."

Alex walked into the restaurant/bar to find it nearly jam packed with other people, most likely college students taking summer classes. Someone bumped into her on her way to their table, "There needs to be another plague." She mumbled to Nicky who burst into laughter. "Really, and this whole time I pinned you as a people person." She said as they met Polly and Pete who were sat towards the back. "You've got to be J Kidding me!" Pete said in response to something that he saw on his phone. Polly looked at him, horror in her eyes, "Honey…no." He raised a brow, "What?" Polly rolled her eyes, "Don't ever say that again, just no." He shrugged, going back to plucking a fry up off of the plate that sat in the middle of the table.

"Hey thanks for waiting assholes." Nicky said as she took her seat beside Pete. Polly shrugged, "You took too long." Nicky rolled her eyes, searching around for a waiter so she could order. Alex looked around, noticing that Piper hadn't showed yet, figuring that she must've taken longer to get dressed than usual. Nicky and Alex ordered their food, Alex ordering for Piper so her food would be there by the time she showed up.

Piper came in a little later than she had anticipated, finding her table quickly. Pete was just returning from the bathroom when she approached. "Zip up your fly you hooligan!" Nicky shouted as she took notice to Pete's return. Piper slipped into the chair next to Alex, squeezing the brunette's knee beneath the table. "Hey." Alex greeted, kissing the side of her face just as their food arrived.

"Hey, you see that waitress over there?" Nicky asked. Piper looked up and then around the room, there were at least five different waiters. "Which one?" she asked. "The one with the hair." Nicky clarified. "Oh yes, I can totally see which one you're talking about now." Alex said her voice full of sarcasm. Nicky rolled her eyes, "The one by the bar, waiting on her drink order." They all turned to look, taking in a woman who looked about two inches taller than Nicky with long curly brown hair that was currently clipped up to keep it off of the back of her neck. "I'm going to ask her out." Alex shrugged, "Go for it Pepé." Nicky flipped her off before standing up and heading over to the bar. Piper smiled, "She needs this, she's been hung up on Lorna for a while now, time for her to move on." Alex nodded, agreeing with her, but she couldn't help but wonder if Piper would be following her own advice if they had broken up the night before.

XXX

A little later on, they had ordered a few drinks, and Nicky was starting to feel good, "Do you ever wonder what a penguin pussy smells likes?" the red head asked the table. Alex raised a brow, "Okay, Steve Irwin." The table broke out in laughter as Nicky shook her head, "No, I'm serious!" Pete raised his beer bottle, "No, I know what you mean. I always feel like seagulls are on steroids, the way they flap around demanding food like they do the fucking bullies." Polly shook her head, "You too?!" Nicky smirked, "Chill Superbitch, he's just being a caring human." Polly glared at her, but Nicky ignored her, turning to Alex and Piper who were staring at one another. "So how many times did you guys do it after you went home Piper?" She asked with a Cheshire grin. Piper chucked a fry at the crazed haired woman, the potato-y goodness just missing her. "What the fuck was that?!" Nicky asked. "Your life flashing before your eyes." Piper said simply; bringing back her attention to her girlfriend. "And that's only the warning shot." Polly threatened.

XXX

Alex took off from work the next day, shocking Piper. "You really want to go with me to the hardware store?" the blonde asked in utter amazement. She felt like someone needed to pinch her. The brunette smiled as she made their coffee, "I don't care what we're doing as long as I get to spend time with you." Piper felt herself warm at the affectionate words, moving over to the taller woman and wrapping her arms around her waist, "I love you." Alex grinned, placing her hands over Piper's before turning in her arms and handing a mug to her, "I love you too."

"So we are on the hunt for plum and ochre." Piper said as they entered the store. "What the fuck is ochre again?" Alex asked, staring at the rows of paint cans. Piper smirked, knowing that this was more her specialty, "It's like a mixture between yellow and orange." Alex nodded, beginning to search for the said color. It took her all of five minutes to find it, turning to face Piper who already had a can of plum tucked beneath her arm. "Ready?" Piper asked. Alex nodded, leading her over to the cash register.

"Okay so we should probably set out a sheet or something so we don't get any on the floor." Piper instructed when they returned home. Alex nodded, going to retrieve the sheets as Piper pulled her hair up into a messy bun and searched for the duct tape, beginning to line the seams of the wall and windows. Alex returned a few moments later, she had changed into a pair of soccer shorts and a tank top, her hair pulled back into a pony tail. Piper eyed her up, biting her lower lip as the brunette made her way over to her. "Stop looking at me like that." Alex said as she began to lay the sheets out onto the floor. "Like what?" Piper asked innocently. Alex shook her head, "Like you're going to eat me." Piper grinned, "Well maybe that's what I was planning." Alex felt the heat rise into her stomach, rolling her eyes at the affect that the blonde's words had on her. Piper took off the lids on the paint cans, handing Alex a brush. Alex took the wooden handle from her, watching as the blonde leaned down to dip her brush into the paint. The brunette smirked, taking her brush and making a downward stroke on the back of Piper's neck, grinning when she heard the gasp that escaped from her lips. "Now we're even." Piper turned to face her, raising a brow, "Oh yeah?" Alex nodded, chuckling. Piper nodded as if deep in thought before bringing up her hand and dragging her paint covered brush over the side of Alex's face, letting it smear over her hair all the way down to her neck and chest. Alex just stared at her, shaking her head in disbelief. Piper slowly backed away from her as Alex looked to the paint and then back at the blonde.

"Al." She warned. Alex grinned, grabbing Piper by the waist and pulled her back, dipping her hand into the paint and dragging her fingers over Piper's entire face. It went on like that until they were both too caught up in each other to worry about which one of them was covered in more paint.

XXX

"I guess it was a good thing that we laid out the sheets huh?" Alex asked as they lay there on the floor, completely naked and covered in smeared paint that represented hand prints. Piper chuckled, looking over herself before groaning, "You got paint all over my tutu!" Alex raised a brow, "You're what?" Piper looked at her and burst out laughing, pointing to her crotch. "Did you seriously just call your vagina a tutu?" Alex asked. Piper rolled her eyes, shoving the brunette lightly, "My mother use to call it that." Alex chuckled, "Even better."

Silence fell over them before Alex spoke again, "You should probably talk to her." Piper lulled her head to the side, looking over at her girlfriend, "Are we seriously going to talk about my mother right after fucking?" Alex shrugged, "You brought her up." Piper sighed, sitting up and began searching for her paint ruined clothes, "You're right, I'm sorry." Alex leaned up on her elbows, "Well are you?" Piper slipped into her shorts, "Am I what?" Alex rolled her eyes, knowing that the blonde knew exactly what, "Are you going to talk to her?" Piper nodded, "I was thinking about it." Alex nodded, "It would be good for you to, forget about what she thinks of me. You should be able to have a relationship with your mother, even if she doesn't like who you're dating." Piper pulled her shirt over her head before turning back to look at her, putting her hands on her hips, "Okay, I will. I'll call her tomorrow; ask her to go for coffee. Now are you going to help me paint or are you just going to watch?" Alex smirked, "Please, being a voyeur is not nearly as much fun." Piper rolled her eyes, smirking, "Then get dressed, the sun's only going to be up for another hour or so, I want to try and get this done before we have to turn on all the lights."


	24. Body Pillows and Tea

"Now how many days in a year

She woke up with hope

But she only found tears

And I can be so insincere.

Now how many lovers would stay

Just to put up with this shit day after day

Now how did we wind up this way

Watching our mouths for the words that we say."

-'Absolutely' by Nine Days

XXX

Piper had called Carol as soon as she had gotten a shower after her run. "Piper?" she had answered. The younger blonde paced the length of the newly painted living room, not wanting to wake up Alex. She was going back to work today and Piper wanted her to get some rest before going over to the library. "Hi Mom." She said, feeling herself growing nervous which was fucking ridiculous, it was her mother! The same woman who might as well have thrown her out on Thanksgiving, the same person who had made excuse after excuse for her not to date Alex, the same Carol who told her to go back to Larry, the same mother who told her daughter to play it safe instead of go after what she wanted most. "What is it darling?" Carol's sickeningly sweet voice came through the speaker, crackling slightly in Piper's ear. She was fidgeting; she needed to do something with her hands, deciding to play with the fraying end of her night shirt she spoke, "Do you want to get coffee?" She waited a couple minutes for her mother to respond, "Well I've already had my morning coffee and Janette is coming over later for cards." Piper's jaw tensed, this is exactly what made her dislike her mother so much, no matter what was going on around her, Carol still found a reason for things to be all about her, something that Piper had inherited, something that she couldn't help, but was trying to kick, the narcissism that she had lived with for far too long. "Mom, please, we haven't talked in over seven months." She couldn't believe that she was begging her.

She felt arms wrap around her hips, pulling her back into a warm body. Alex rubbed her shoulders, kissing her neck reassuringly. Piper could hear Carol sigh on the line, "Fine, I'll have to reschedule with Janette though. Where do you want to have coffee?" Piper sighed, the hardest part was over for the moment, "I was going to come up to the house if that was okay?" she asked. Carol took a minute to respond, "Alright dear, I'll see you later then." Before Piper could respond the line went dead. Piper shook her head, why was she even trying? Oh right, the reason being the one holding her at the moment. "You okay?" Alex asked, her breath tickling her ear. She relaxed her shoulders no longer tense. "You're supposed to be asleep." She said. Piper knew that she would be okay because she was in love with Alex, and even though it would seem like everything around them was turning to shit, they were going to be okay. Piper needed to be strong, they both couldn't be fragile, but the thing was Alex may be fragile when it comes to Diane just like Piper was fragile whenever Carol came up, fucking moms.

XXX

"Have a good day at work." Piper said, kissing Alex before grabbing her bag. "Don't work too hard." She said as she opened the front door. Alex waved her off, "Have a good day with your mom, or at least try to." Piper nodded, "I love you." Alex smiled, picking up a book off of the coffee table, "I love you too. Now get out of here, I'll see you when I get home from work."

Piper reached her childhood home a little while later. She couldn't bring herself to get out of the car though, sitting back in her seat she began to give herself a pep talk which could only be seen as fucking ludicrous. Carol wasn't all that scary when she thought about it, but what did scare her was the possibility of her temper getting the best of her and she would say something that would make her lose her mother forever. Maybe she should go see a therapist or something. She was always afraid of what she was capable of, the anger always bubbling just right below the surface. Before two days ago she had thought that she had been able to put a cap on it, but she had been wrong, and she had almost fucked up everything with Alex because of it.

She shook her head, shutting off the car and climbing out. Walking towards the front door she remembered what her mother had said about her just coming in instead of knocking. She knew that her father wasn't home and Cal had retreated back to his home in the woods so it would just be her and her mother. If she finished up with Carol early, she figured that she could go see her grandmother Celeste.

She found Carol in the kitchen, sipping from a glass of wine. "Starting early I see?" Piper said rather bitterly as she entered the room. The older blonde looked up from the spot on the floor she had been staring at, "Piper, it's been awhile." She hugged her daughter half-heartedly. Piper rolled her eyes, already starting off on the wrong foot, perfect. She moved over to the cabinet, pulling down a mug and filling it with coffee. "How's Larry?" Carol asked from her seat at the bar. Piper felt herself begin to grind her teeth; she knew that the older woman was saying it just to get a rise out of her. "He's alright, I saw him during winter break." Carol smiled, "Oh good, so you're back together then?" Piper's eye twitched slightly, Carol didn't even really like Larry. She liked him because he was normal, safe, stable, and a man. "No." She decided not to skate around the problem, if they were going to fight, they might as well just get down to it.

Carol sighed heavily, setting down her wine glass, "And why not? You know Piper; he's not going to wait around forever." Piper shook her head, "Good, I don't want him to." She watched her mother shake her head, "Why would you say such a thing?" Piper chuckled, "Oh I don't know, maybe because I'm in love with Alex?" Carol shook her head in disgust, "Oh, Piper." That was what practically sent her over the edge. It was the same tone her mother used when she got a C on her algebra final, or when she fell off her bike at the age of six and scraped her knee. It was the exact Oh, Piper that made her want to scream, laugh, and cry all at the same time. It meant that she was being stupid, and unreasonable. It meant that she was wrong, and this Piper knew that she was anything but.

"Don't oh Piper me, I may be young and naïve, but I'm happy Mom, really fucking happy. Sure Alex and I have our problems, but what relationship doesn't? When I was with Larry, I was bored. I always knew what he was going to say next, and yeah, he may have known when to order Chinese, but he didn't know how to keep up a conversation, if we weren't talking about his writing or his video games he didn't really care about what I had to say." Carol looked confused at the mention of Chinese food, but Piper continued, it was all coming out now, whether her mother wanted to hear it or not, Piper needed her to. "Larry was predictable, he always wore the same tie when we went out to dinner, he always went to bed at 11:30pm, and he would always act as if we weren't fighting when we were."

Carol shook her head, "Why are you making these sound like complaints Piper, it sounds like a perfectly simple and normal relationship." Piper threw her hands up in aggravation, "That's just the thing Mom, I don't want simple and I sure as hell don't want normal! I love Alex, she is amazing, and I never have to say what's on my mind because she is already five steps ahead of me in trying to help diffuse the situation. I know that if I come home from a long day of classes that she isn't going to be there waiting on me. She is going to be out with Nicky, or working and living a life of her own. Even though we don't hang on to each other's every word, we are each other's constant. I don't have to worry about ever saying the wrong thing because that's all we ever do is say the wrong thing, but that's okay because we both can agree that we aren't perfect." Carol just stared at her, as much as she would never admit to it; she honestly looked intrigued by Piper's explanation of her and Alex's relationship.

Piper pressed on, not knowing if she would ever get the chance to get her mother to understand ever again. "I don't want the basics. I want fucked up. I want surprise. I want to be able to have a long and grueling argument about whether or not Homer was full of shit. I want everything that Larry isn't, don't you see that? I was never meant to fall in line behind you; I was never supposed to turn out like you. I can't be who I want to be and still be the nice white blonde lady that you have been raising me to be. I don't want to have a stable life. I want all of the ups and downs. I don't want to be reassured every moment of every day what is going to be for dinner, and whether or not I'm going to do or say something that's going to rub Alex the wrong way."

Carol rolled her eyes, "That's nonsense Piper; you're going to stand there and tell me that you don't want to be safe?" Piper nearly burst out laughing, "Of course I want safe! The thing is Mother, I want everything. I don't just want safe but I want dangerous, and I want intellect and sheer stupidity, and I want all of this with Alex. I don't see why I have to choose between sheltered and exposed. I don't see why I can't be miserable and happy. I want all of it; I want all of life's experiences. I don't want to have to decide what I want. I should be able to figure that out as I go." Carol finally stood from the bar, leaving her wine to be forgotten for the moment. "Don't you think this is all coming out of nowhere? Piper, where did this all come from?" The younger of the two moved away from the other, taking a large gulp of coffee, "I've always wanted this Mom; it just took me till now to realize that I don't need your approval to live." Piper knew that what she had just said was harsh, but at the same time she could really care less.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman, I will not let you speak to me like this. I am your mother!" Carol yelled, losing her restrain. Piper nodded, "It was a mistake to come here; you will never understand me the way that I want you to." Carol shook her head, "As long as you are with that girl, I don't want to have any association with you." Piper felt her ribs crush her heart, feeling her anger bubbling up into her throat, setting down her mug with shaky hands she stood to face her mother, "Why, is it because I'm with a woman or is it because I refuse to bend and morph into your fucking cookie cutter?" Carol ignored her, leaving the room, "You know where the door is." Piper clenched and unclenched her hands, frozen in place. Her mother had really just cut her out of her life, the one person that was supposed to love her and except her no matter what, had just turned her back on her. She felt her lungs tighten, she couldn't breathe. She needed air. She stumbled towards the hallway, blindly skimming the wall with her fingertips until she reached the heavy wooden door, the handle feeling like a dead weight in the palm of her hand.

She yanked it open, stepping out into the blistering heat of early July. Shutting the door behind her, she couldn't get herself to take the ten simple steps it would take to get to her car; after all, Piper didn't do simple. Instead she leaned back into the door, feeling the coolness of the glass window on her back through the thin cotton of her shirt. Sliding down the surface of it and coming to sit on the porch, she found herself wanting to throw up, wanting to rid herself of the bile that was caused from the words that had left her mother's forever pursed lips. She wanted to cry and scream and curse, cause a scene like she was never allowed to do as a kid. It was forbidden in the Chapman household to ever show emotion, to act any other way then fine. No wonder Cal moved out into the fucking woods, something snapped in him like something was clicking in her own chest, sending out sparks in an S.O.S. to be saved from herself. She couldn't believe that at one point she wanted to be like her mom, to act tough and not let others get to her, but all of that just didn't make sense to her now. Why should you have to go through life without making the most of it? You should be able to go through the motions with other than a fake smile plastered to your face. Piper raked her hands through her hair, sweat swirling with the salty tears that were escaping the corners of her eyes. She needed to talk to someone that understood. She needed to be reassured that she wasn't talking crazy, that she wasn't doing all of this for attention. Celeste lived about fifteen minutes away from her old house; she was going to go see her grandmother.

XXX

Alex sat in between the shelves of the library. Not many people came in during the day; most people were either at work or in school during this time. She flipped to the next page in the book she was currently reading when she heard footsteps growing near. She didn't bother to look up, knowing that if someone needed her help that they would ask. She heard the footsteps stop beside her before the person sat down next to her. Knowing that it wasn't Nicky, Alex looked over curiously to see who had decided to pay her a visit.

"Hey." Polly said. Alex raised a brow, unsure as to why her girlfriend's best friend was there. Alex and Polly got along fine, but they weren't necessarily buddy-buddy. "Hey." Alex replied, closing her book and returning it back onto the shelf behind her. "What's up?" she asked, hoping that the awkward silence would dissipate if she kept asking questions. The smaller brunette looked scared, unsure. "Well, I would've called Piper but I know that she's with Carol today, and well I'm sure as fuck not going to tell Nicky this." Alex cocked her head to the side, confused, "Tell her what?" Polly played with her hands, refusing to look up at Alex as she bit her lip, trying to figure out what she was going to say. "I was going to tell Larry but then I remembered how he was on Christmas, and I just figured that it wouldn't be best to tell him, so I'm telling you." Alex was getting slightly frustrated with the lack of information, "Telling me what?" Polly sighed, "Pete doesn't even know yet, but I didn't know what to do, and I'm scared." Alex rolled her eyes, "For fucks sake Polly, tell me what's going on or I'm going to go back to the information desk and leave your depressing ass here alone." Polly burst out into tears at that moment leaving Alex speechless, unsure of what to do she patted Polly's arm awkwardly.

Polly began to cry harder at the attempt of consoling and pulled Alex into a hug, crying into the taller woman's shirt. Alex's eyes widened in shock, never really one for affection she hugged Polly back briefly before prying her off of her. "What's going on and why are you crying?" Alex asked, concerned. Polly's lip quivered as she tried to bring herself to say the two words that she needed to say. She needed to get her shit together; she was falling apart in front of her best friend's girlfriend in the middle of a fucking library. "I'm pregnant."

Alex wasn't sure if she had heard the girl right, "You're pregnant?" Polly nodded ashamedly, "I had missed a day in my pills, and it slipped my mind, I had run out and couldn't get a refill until the next day." She was rambling as Alex stood, pacing in front of her. "You're pregnant and the first person you decide to tell is me? Why?" Alex asked, confused. Polly looked up at her from her position on the floor and spoke, "I told you, Nichols is the last person I want to go to for anything, and Piper is busy with her mom." Alex nodded slowly, understanding. "What are you going to do?" she asked. Polly stood slowly, "I don't know, I just found out an hour ago that I was. I took five fucking tests because I didn't want to believe it." Alex stopped pacing, facing the shorter woman, "Are you going to tell Pete?" Polly shrugged, "I don't know. I don't know how he's going to react; I don't think he's the type of guy that would want kids, especially this young."

Alex sighed; of course this would somehow become her problem too. Not only was she going to have to deal with her mom being sick, and her frustrated girlfriend who would be coming back from her mother's later, but now on top of all of that, she would also have to handle a sobbing pregnant woman. She sighed heavily, "Well are you going to keep it?"

Polly's eyes widened, "You mean am I going to get an abortion?" Alex nodded, "That's normally how it goes, there are only two choices you can make at this point, keep it or get rid of it." Polly growled in frustration, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. "What do you think I should do?" she asked. Alex shook her head, "I think you should tell Pete, sit him down and have a long talk about it. Go from there." Polly nodded, her tears starting to dry up. She quickly pulled Alex into another hug, "Thank you." She pulled away, nodding to Alex before leaving the library.

Alex let out a huge sigh, realizing that she had dodged yet another bullet. Leaning back into the shelf of books, she slid back down to the floor. Running her fingers through her hair and picking back up her book, she continued to read.

XXX

"Piper." Celeste greeted her granddaughter at the door. She took in the state of Piper's face, stained with tears from red rimmed eyes. "Honey, come in, what happened?" Piper let her shoulder's sag, walking past Celeste and into the house. "My mother happened." The older woman shook her head, "I always told your father that she was no good for him, shows how well he listens. Of course he realizes it all of these years later, and just like his father, isn't going to do a damn thing about it." Piper smiled lightly at the mention of her grandfather, he had passed away when she was sixteen. He was an old grouchy man, but he did love his grandchildren, bitched about congress every chance he got though, not failing to ever call them asshats, saying that they made sure that their wallets were big enough to compensate for something else, but it always made Piper laugh; he had never failed to make her smile, even on her saddest days.

The funny thing about her grandparents was how perfect they were for each other, unlike her own parents, Celeste and Albert would bicker like children. Albert always made a point to belch after dinner which would end with Celeste yelling his name and him replying with, "Woman." It was always good to know that he knew who he was married to. It was such a surprise to them both when their son had turned out the way he had, a strong business man who of course had to go and marry the ice queen.

Bill and Carol couldn't be any more different than they were alike, meaning they were on opposite sides of a coin. Carol came from a very prim and proper family, learning her manners before she knew the alphabet. She was often scolded as a child if she were to sit hunched over, or not knowing the difference between the fork used for dinner and the one for dessert. Bill grew up with money just as Carol had, but he had lived in a very laid back home, Celeste taught him the difference between right and wrong, but not necessarily telling him which one to choose. She would love her son no matter what he did, whether he grew up to be the president or if he had become an international drug cartel kingpin.

Celeste instructed Piper to sit on the couch as she handed her a mug of tea. "Thanks." Piper said before taking a sip. It was pure bliss in a cup, black tea with milk, sugar and a little bit of honey. Her mother had always found it disgusting, telling Piper that she had to choose between the milk and the honey, but Celeste always gave her both when Carol wasn't looking, half out of spite and the other half just to make her granddaughter happy.

"So what were you doing over there? I thought you two weren't talking?" Celeste asked as she sat down in the recliner. Piper sighed, "That's why I went to see her, I wanted to be able to talk to her again. No matter our differences, I wanted to be able to have a relationship with my mom." Celeste nodded, understanding entirely. "My mother had a similar reaction to your grandfather like yours has about Alex. She told me that if I were to marry Albert, I could forget ever coming back home." Piper nodded, knowing a little about Celeste's life before her father had come into the picture, but was never given the entire story. "So what happened?" Celeste shrugged, "I did what my heart told me to do, as much as I loved my mother, I loved Albert too. I figured that I should be with the one that loved me no matter what I did, so I left. I told my mother to kiss my ass and I left."

Piper chuckled, she had always figured her grandmother to be the fuck it type. "Well I'm glad you did." Piper said after a moment, taking another sip from her cup. Celeste nodded, "Me too." There was a moment of silence where all you could hear was the sound of the AC turning on as the old vents creaked. Celeste spoke first, "I like Alex, I think you picked a good one this time." It kind of surprised Piper, she had suspected that her grandmother didn't mind her girlfriend at Thanksgiving, but she had never thought that she would have taken a liking to her so quickly. At her reaction Celeste smiled a toothy grin, one that reminded her of Cal. "I always thought that Larry was a fucking loser anyways, total snooze fest. I guess that's why Carol likes him so much." Piper laughed, setting down her cup on the coffee table. "I think she just wants what's best for me, well what she thinks is best for me anyways."

Celeste waved a hand in dismissal, "That woman doesn't know her own daughter; she just wants to think that she can redo her life by living through you." Piper nodded, agreeing with her. "How did you and Alex meet anyways?" she asked Piper, setting down her cup as well before tucking her legs beneath her to get comfortable. Piper smiled, remembering how forward Alex had been. "Well I first saw her in my Art History Class, and then again in the coffee shop on campus." Celeste smirked, listening intently. "She noticed me staring at her so she dropped a note on the floor next to my booth, telling me to meet her beneath a tree near the dorms, where she pretty much just made fun of me and then left." Celeste chuckled, "Something told me that that girl had a sense of humor." Piper grinned, "It wasn't really anything then, I didn't really think much of it, not until I saw her again in Nicky's dorm room. Alex of course had to be her roommate." Celeste smiled, "I always liked Nicky." Piper nodded, "So yeah the three of us went out to a pub later that night, and it sort of just went on from there."

Celeste gapped, "That's it? That's all I'm getting?" Piper laughed, "Well, it got bumpy after that, the next time I saw Alex, I got really drunk and apparently we had slept together but I couldn't remember a damn thing. She kind of avoided me for a while, started going out with this girl named Jaime, and I got back together with Larry momentarily." Celeste groaned at the mention of his name. Piper shook her head, "Eventually we were able to get over our differences, and I found out that she was only avoiding me because she was afraid to like me. She apparently had never felt feelings for anyone like she did for me, and I know that's cheesy but I couldn't help but fall for her after that." Celeste smiled, "Well you always were the rescuer type." Piper rolled her eyes, "Well it's more like that now because when we were all up in Vermont over winter break, Alex had gotten a call from her Aunt saying that her mom was in the hospital so we had rushed down to New York. Alex's Christmas present ended up being that her mother had lung cancer."

Celeste gasped, "Oh that's just awful." Piper nodded, feeling herself begin to tear up, "Diane was already in stage three when they found it, and so there was little they could do to try and get rid of it. She did chemo for a little while but she said that she knew that it wasn't going to get better, which I get, a person knows when it's their time." Celeste nodded, thinking back to when her husband was nearing the end, when he was in the hospital for the last time after his third heart attack. Piper swallowed, "Diane has around six months left, and I'm afraid that I'm going to lose Alex when the time comes." Celeste sighed, sitting up. "Well, it comes down to you and Alex, when her mom passes; it's going to depend on whether or not you can be there for each other. Love isn't enough all of the time, you can love someone and still leave them, so my question Piper is, do you think you will be able to be there for Alex when the time comes?" Piper shifted in her seat, "I want to think that I can, but I'm scared. We already had our real first fight the other night, it was about money. Alex grew up with Diane having four jobs, so she's afraid that I'm going to leave her because she might not be able to take care of me." "Well would you?" Celeste asked, she knew that these questions being asked would hurt Piper, but she needed her granddaughter to understand that sometimes relationships can be a lot tougher than you could ever imagine.

"No. No, I would never leave her because of money." Piper said. "But you would leave her, if you felt like there was no other choice?" Celeste asked. Piper thought for a moment, "I wouldn't want to, but I had already threatened her the other night that I would leave if she didn't start taking care of herself properly."

"What do you mean?" Celeste wondered. Piper sighed, standing to take her cup into the kitchen to wash. The older woman followed suit. "She has taken on two jobs, she works all day at the library and all night at the pub we had first gone to. She doesn't come home until around 3am, and she doesn't really ever want to talk about what's bothering her." Celeste sighed, rinsing out her cup, "Not everyone is going to handle things the same way, you're a talker Piper, but Alex might not be. It sounds to me like she is a repressor; she likes to not think about what's bothering her until she is practically suffocating from it all." Piper nodded, already noticing that that was how Alex handled most things. "Well then what do I do to get her to understand that what she is doing is hurting me too?" Celeste dried off the cups before placing them back into their respectful cabinet, "You just have to be there for her, catch her when she falls. It isn't necessarily about what you can do to stop it, but what you can do to cushion it."

Piper nodded, "That's what Nicky and Polly kept telling me, not in the same words, but they kept telling me that all I could do was be there for her and love her even when she couldn't find it in her to love herself." Celeste smiled lightly, "It sounds like you have very smart friends."

XXX

"Thank you Grandmother, for everything." Piper said, hugging Celeste out on her porch. Celeste smiled, "Anytime honey, and don't worry about your mother, I can't promise you that she will ever come around, but you will always have a place here. I only ever went over there because of you kids, just remember that." Piper smiled, feeling herself beginning to cry again. It was turning out to be a really emotional day; it only made her want Alex. She waved goodbye to her grandmother and returned to her car, beginning the drive back to her and Alex's apartment, knowing that it was still going to be awhile before she was able to see her girlfriend.

XXX

Alex returned home later that night, earlier than usual at 12am, she had given her two week notice at the library, she loved books, but the pub paid better. That way she would be able to work the earlier shift at the bar and still be able to spend time with Piper at the end of the day. She knew that Piper would be happy to hear that. She slipped out of her shoes, dropping her keys and apron on the counter before heading into the bedroom, finding Piper asleep in bed.

Alex couldn't help but smile down on the blonde, knowing that she probably had a long day and deserved the sleep. She stripped out of her clothes, pulling on a large shirt and shorts before climbing into bed beside Piper. She carefully took her pillow away where the blonde had been spooning it, chuckling to herself as she replaced the pillow with herself, feeling Piper wrap her arms around her waist and sigh in her sleep.

Alex smoothed down Piper's hair, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before noticing that Piper was awake. "Curling up with my pillow again I see, am I not good enough?" Alex joked. Piper smiled, "You weren't here." Alex nodded, "I know baby, but I'm going to be from now on." Piper's eyes widened, "What do you mean? What time is it?" Alex smiled, "It's midnight, and I gave my two weeks' notice at the library so I can pick up the early shift at the pub." Piper sat up, "Does that mean you're going to be home more often now?" Alex nodded, "Yup, so you no longer have to cheat on me with my pillow." Piper smirked, "You know, I did see this really nice body pillow at the store the other day." Alex laughed, "You wouldn't dare!" Piper grinned, leaning in to kiss the brunette, "But wouldn't I?" Alex smiled, kissing her again before she could say anything more about the life size sack of feathers.


	25. The 80s with a Twist

"You took my hand in yours

You started breaking down my walls

And you covered my heart in kisses."

-'Dressed in Black' by Sia

XXX

"Babe." Alex whispered, trying to wake up Piper. The blonde groaned, rolling over so that her face pressed into her pillow. Alex smirked, walking over to the windows and pulling back the curtains to let the sunlight into the room. This produced yet another groan from Piper. "Fine, I guess I'll just have to get a shower all by my lonesome." Alex said, walking past the bed and over to the door. "That's not fair!" Piper said. The brunette smiled, turning back to see Piper still lying in bed, yet to move.

"Who said I played fair?" Alex asked. Piper groaned yet again as she rolled onto her side to face her girlfriend, "It's so early." "Not for what I have planned for us, you know if you at some point decide to drag your grumpy ass out of bed." Piper smirked, rolling back over to sleep, her eyes closed with a smile playing on her lips she said, "You like my ass." Alex chuckled, moving back over to the bed and grabbed onto Piper's ankle, beginning to pull her towards the edge of the bed. Piper made no reaction, just clung to her pillow tighter.

Alex quickly picked Piper up, slinging her over her shoulder and headed towards the bathroom. Piper dropped her pillow as Alex flicked on the light, turning on the shower as well. She didn't give Piper a chance to go back into bed; instead she just pushed the blonde into the shower, fully clothed. The water had yet to warm up so the cold water made Piper's breath hitch, "Alex, what the fuck?" Alex laughed, crossing her arms over her chest, "You awake now?" Piper pouted, her wet clothes clung to her as she stuck her tongue out at her before getting an idea, "You better be planning on making up for that." Alex raised a brow, "Oh yeah?" Piper grinned, "Yeah, now come here." "But I might just make you sleepy again." Alex said, smirking. Piper rolled her eyes, "Don't give yourself credit for something you haven't done yet." The taller of the two chuckled, "You know I'm good for it."

XXX

"So what was it you had planned?" Piper asked as she pulled a shirt on over her head. Alex looked back at her from where she was pulling on her boots, "Wouldn't you like to know?" Piper shook her head, "You sure aren't being very nice today." Alex laughed at the statement, "Oh because the two orgasms in the shower weren't me being nice."

Piper smirked, "It was a little rough for it to be classified as nice." Alex rolled her eyes, "You ready to go?" Piper nodded, grabbing her sneakers out of the closet and followed Alex out of the apartment.

"So where are we going anyways?" Piper asked as Alex drove. "You'll see." Alex said, keeping her eyes on the road, a faint smile clear on her lips. Piper rolled her eyes, letting out a loud sigh to show how much she didn't like not knowing. Alex chuckled, "You really do suck the fun out of surprises don't you?" Piper pressed her forehead to the cool glass of her window, "It's not like I can suck on anything else right now." Alex rolled her eyes, "We had sex an hour ago." Piper smirked, "You expect me to ever be sustained with you sitting right there looking really fucking hot?" Alex looked down at her appearance, "I'm just wearing a flannel over sweatpants, there really isn't much to look at." Piper grinned, "Yes, but you forgot how much I like you in plaid." "Who said I forgot?" Alex said, laughing. Piper groaned, "Evil, just pure evil."

Piper would have recognized where they were going if she hadn't been sleeping the first time, Alex thought as she drove. She smiled as she looked over to find Piper sleeping once again, it's like she was a fucking five year old, Alex smiled at the thought, she really did love the silence of the drive, it meant that she didn't have to focus on anything besides the rain that was lightly hitting the pavement and the bends in the road. Piper snored quietly beside her, making Alex smile once more. The blonde could do pretty much anything and make it look cute.

XXX

"Babe, wake up." Alex said, pressing a kiss onto Piper's temple. "We're here already?" Alex smiled, "Well considering you slept the day away, yeah we're here." Piper sighed, stretching her arms over her head, causing for her shirt to ride up and the skin of her stomach to poke out. Alex cut the ignition, climbing out of the car and went to unlock the front door of the cabin. "Coming Sleeping Beauty?" Alex called back to the slightly disheveled blonde that was slowly climbing out of the passenger seat. "You brought me back to the cabin?" Piper asked. Alex shrugged, "I figured that the last time we were here, we didn't really get to enjoy ourselves, what with Larry and my mom." Piper smiled as she walked the short distance from the car to her girlfriend. "I thought we could make it so we had better memories here." Piper hugged her then, pulling her into a tight embrace, "Man if I wasn't so tired right now, I don't know what I'd do to show my appreciation."

Alex chuckled, "What, a three hour nap wasn't good enough?" Piper groaned, "Why did you let me sleep for that long, I'm going to be up all night now." Alex rolled her eyes, "Come on." She pulled the shorter woman into the house, shutting the door behind them and flicked the lights on to illuminate the hallway. "I had my cousin go grocery shopping yesterday so the fridge is stocked, and I think she baked a pie if I'm not mistaken." Piper smirked, "Would that cousin's name happen to be Caroline?" Alex's face reddened slightly, "It might be." Piper laughed, "Damn that kiss must've been really good for her to be coming at your beck and call all of these years later." Alex winked before dropping a bag that she had secretly packed for the both of them in their bedroom before finding Piper passed out once more on the couch. "You've got to be fucking kidding me." Alex sighed before picking up her feet and placing them in her lap, settling back into the cushions of the old couch, after all, a small nap never killed anyone.

XXX

"Okay, this is definitely my favorite 80s movie." Alex said as she helped up the DVD case for her girlfriend to see. "What is it?" Piper asked, as she sat knitting, because why would she be doing anything else? It was like the girl did it on purpose. "The Heathers, you ever see it?" Alex asked as she popped it into the tray. "No, what's it about?" Piper asked.

"It's better to just watch it without knowing anything about it, all you need to know is that Winona Ryder is in it, and she's a total babe." Alex said. Piper chuckled, "You sound like a fifteen year old boy." Alex glared at her over her shoulder, "It's true though! Even in Beatlejuice where she's only sixteen, definitely the cause of my first masturbation session." Piper rolled her eyes, "Alright, my favorite 80s movie is Pretty in Pink." It was Alex's turn to roll her eyes now, "Of course it is." "Why, you don't like it?" Piper asked, setting down her yarn and needles. Alex looked over at her, grinning at the glasses she wore, she didn't wear them often enough she thought before saying, "No, the movie is great, I just think that the guy Molly ends up with is a total tool bag. Definitely puts a damper on the movie." Piper shrugged, "True, it's still good though." Alex stood up, grabbing the remote off of the coffee table, "Fine, I'll make you a deal. I'll watch Pretty in Pink if you watch The Heathers." Piper practically jumped out of her seat, "Deal!"

"Ugh, I hate the ending, it's so cheesy!" Alex whined from her position on the couch, Piper nestled between her legs, her head resting on her sternum. Piper swatted at her arm playfully, "Shut up, you made me watch a fucked up movie that was pretty much centered around a hit list." Alex smirked, "And it should've been considered a fucking classic! Who doesn't want to kill the majority of their fellow high schoolers?" Piper rolled her eyes, rolling over so her chin was now digging into the brunette's chest.

"You are definitely a force to be reckoned with Miss. Vause." Piper said, sliding up the taller woman's body. Alex grinned, "You bet I am." Piper shook her head before leaning down, capturing Alex's lips into a long and lust filled kiss. Alex moaned into the kiss, not wanting it to end as Piper pushed away to breathe. Alex went in for another kiss when Piper sat up, straddling the brunette's waist, "Nope, sex can wait. I want pie!" Alex chuckled, "I didn't realize that I was dating Dean Winchester." Piper smirked, "Fuck you." Alex smiled, grabbing Piper's waist and grinding up into her, "Baby, that's all that I want." Piper groaned before prying herself out of Alex's grip, "Nope. Pie first, and then I have no promises on leaving any part of your beautiful skin without a hicky." "I like the sound of that." Alex said as Piper sashayed into the kitchen and gave herself a rather large helping of cherry pie.

A half an hour later, they had made their way into the bedroom, discarded clothes creating a trail behind them. Alex pressed the blonde into the mattress, mounting her before pressing a rough kiss to her lips. Piper moaned, darting her tongue into the brunette's mouth. She decided to make good on what she said early, rolling them over until Alex was beneath her, but she wasn't aware of how close they were to the edge, sending them crashing to the floor, Alex taking the fall as Piper's body slammed into hers. "Oww!" Alex gasped, clutching her arm as it was bent in a way that it shouldn't have been able to. "You okay?" Piper said, climbing off of the taller woman. Alex hissed through her teeth, "Not really." Piper's eyes widened as she took in the state of her girlfriend's right arm, her good arm. "Oh my god, Al!" Alex sat up, holding her arm close to her chest, "Yeah, Pipes, I think this might call for the ER." "You think?!" Piper said, jumping to her feet as she began to search for her clothes.

"God fucking dammit!" Piper shouted as she almost fell trying to get her legs into her shorts. Alex rolled her eyes, leave it to the blonde to panic in a situation where you needed to stay calm. "Babe, calm down." She tried to reassure her. Piper pulled on her shirt, "Don't tell me to fucking calm down, you look like a fucking contortionist!" Alex pulled on her sweats slowly, not even trying to think about how she was going to manage putting on a shirt.

Piper turned to face her girlfriend, "Here, let me help." Alex pushed her away, "I can dress myself." Piper ignored her, helping the taller woman into her button down.

Piper drove down the road, cursing herself, "This is all my fault, I should've noticed how close we were to the edge." "Jesus fucking Christ, calm the fuck down, it was an accident!" Alex shouted over the blonde's ramblings. Piper went quiet, gripping onto the steering wheel tightly. Alex let out a heavy sigh, "I'm sorry." Piper shook her head, "No, it's okay." Alex stared out the window, "No it's not, I shouldn't have raised my voice." Piper looked away from the road for a moment, "Al, it's okay. I'm just really sorry." Alex smiled lightly, "I'm just glad that it was broken because you wanted me so badly." Piper's face reddened, "Yeah well next time, I'll be more careful."

XXX

"So how did you break your arm?" The doctor asked as she examined the x-ray. Alex bit her lip, looking to Piper whose face was so red she could've been mistaken for a fire hydrant. "I fell." Alex deadpanned, staring at the closed curtain. The doctor nodded, "Yes, but how did you fall exactly?" Alex smirked, "I fell off of the bed." The doctor nodded, as if oblivious to the whole thing, "Okay well, you will have to wear that cast for at least a month." Alex nodded, taking notice to Piper who was shrinking into herself in the corner. She rolled her eyes, knowing that Piper was blaming herself for what had happened. "Thanks Doc." Alex said, climbing off of the hospital bed and followed the lab coat out into the hallway. "Just call your doctor when you return home." The doctor said before leaving. "Will do." Alex said before turning to Piper, reaching out to grab her hand but Piper flinched away from it. Alex growled, deciding to ignore it for the moment as she left the hospital, climbing into the passenger seat. "You know, just because my arm's broken doesn't mean I'm not still in the mood." Alex said, wiggling her eye brows suggestively at the blonde.

Piper winced before starting the car, "I'm kind of tired." Alex sat back in the seat, clearly disappointed, mostly because she knew exactly what Piper was doing, she knew that somehow Piper believed that she couldn't touch her because she would end up hurting her again; it was all just fucking ridiculous. "Pipes, you know you can touch me right?" she asked. Piper nodded, "Yeah, I'm just tired is all." Alex decided not to inform her that she had slept the majority of the day.


	26. PELVIC SORCERY

"I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me

I'm so sick of fights, I hate them

Let's start this again for real.

So here I am, I am trying

So here I am, are you ready?

Come on let me hold you, touch you, feel you

Always

Kiss you, taste you all night

Always."

-'Always' by Blink-182

XXX

Alex woke up the next morning to an empty bed. The blonde's side was cold as she rolled her eyes and flopped back onto her pillow. Their Friday had been shot once they had returned from the ER. Piper had gone straight to bed, muttering a quick 'goodnight' before leaving her alone on the couch to watch Dirty Dancing.

Alex was already tired of Piper's behavior, she had never gotten up before her on a Saturday, and she would usually wait until the brunette was up before teasing her with her short running shorts.

The cabin was quiet, making Alex even more frustrated as she jumped into the shower. After quickly getting dressed, she heard the front door open and close before the sound of someone kicking off their shoes echoed down the hallway. "Pipes?" she called out. Only the silence responded to her. Alex shook her head, leaving the bedroom and following the sound of the sink running in the kitchen. Piper stood in front of the counter in her shorts and tank top which was slightly riding up her sweaty back to show the dimples that rested above her ass. Alex drank her in, slowly walking up behind her and wrapping her one arm around Piper's waist.

Piper stiffened underneath her hands, making Alex want to see how far she could push her before she would actually say what was bothering her. The taller woman pressed a kiss to the nape of the blonde's neck, rubbing her hands up and down the shorter woman's sides. "Alex, I'm all sweaty." Piper said, bracing herself against the countertop. Alex nuzzled her neck, whispering in her ear, "And what a turn on it is." Alex pressed another kiss along her jaw, hearing Piper to gasp as her hands began to travel south, "Come on baby, let's fuck the Carpe right out of this Diem." "Alex, I should really get a shower." The brunette ignored her attempts at trying to avoid her, pinching her ass, "Good, I'll join you." "Al you already got your shower." Piper pushed away. Alex shook her head, "I can just get another."

Piper shook her head, "I want to be alone." Alex frowned, "Why?" Piper rolled her eyes, "Because it's not always about you!" Alex smirked, "Are you meaning to tell me that I'm not in fact the center of the universe?" Piper rolled her eyes, "I'm being serious, I just want to get a shower by myself." Alex shook her head, "You're avoiding the question, why? Why don't you want me to touch you? Why are you barely touching me?" Piper's face fell, looking past Alex instead of at her, "I hurt you." Alex huffed, "It was an accident Piper, I don't care how it happened." "Well I do!" Piper said, crossing her arms over her chest. Alex nearly growled in frustration, "Piper please, this is ridiculous. I broke my arm, great. If I was mad at you, you would know. I just want to be with you, spend time with you. That's why I brought us up to this fucking cabin to begin with! I wanted a simple three days with the love of my life and no drama to go with it."

Alex watched as Piper's face softened, letting her arms drop to her sides. Alex moved over to her, "I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened. Just think, it'll be funny to have people asking how it happened and I'll want to tell the truth and you'll slap my arm, your face red and giving me that look that says 'don't you fucking dare'." Piper smiled lightly, looking to the cast that encased Alex's forearm. "I'm sorry." Alex sighed, "Stop apologizing, besides, I can think of a few other ways that you can make it up to me." Piper smirked, "You can never get enough can you?" Alex grinned, "Well considering how we left things last night, no." Piper closed the space between them, wrapping her arms around the taller woman and pressing their bodies close together so there was no space between them. "I love you." Piper said, kissing Alex's cheek. "I love you." She whispered again as she left a trail of butterfly kisses along the brunette's jawline. "I love you." She muffled once more as she pressed their lips together, never wanting them to part.

Alex tightened her grip on Piper, pushing her down the hallway and towards their bedroom. "God I am so in fucking love with you." She mumbled against the blonde's lips as she pushed the smaller woman down onto the bed.

XXX

Piper rolled over, resting her head onto Alex's stomach as the brunette played with her hair absent mindedly. "Do you ever think of the future?" Piper asked, mumbling slightly into Alex's skin. Her fingers stilled in Piper's hair, a brow raised, eyes searching around the room while she tried to think of what Piper meant by her question. Did she mean did she think about a future with her, or did she mean did she think of a future without her mother, or did she mean both? Alex would like to think that her mother's death wouldn't affect her as much as she knew it would. She also knew that she wanted Piper by her side for the rest of her life. Knowing that though scared her, she had never felt that way before in her life. She had never been so stuck on one person before. Never loved anyone besides her mother before, would never kill for someone other than her mother before.

"Sometimes." She answered the blonde vaguely, still unsure of the nature of the question. She could feel Piper's lips brush her sternum as she shifted to look up at her. "When you think about it, what do you see?" Alex wasn't sure what Piper was getting at, did she want to hear if Alex saw her ten years from now, saw her in a big house on the country side with a possible dog and a drooling kid or two. Alex physically shuddered at the thought, she wasn't parent material nor did she believe she ever could be. It made her think of Polly though, about the pregnancy that Piper had yet to know about. She knew Polly would ask the blonde to be the god parent, Alex knew that Piper would be good at that. Piper would be good with the kid, with a kid, with their kid. All of these thoughts were swimming around in her head as she tried to think of an answer that would keep Piper from asking anymore questions, one that would satisfy her into not worrying about their relationship. Alex had just gotten Piper to calm down, making her second guess her feelings for her was the last thing she needed at the moment.

"It changes all of the time I guess." Alex started, looking down at Piper as she spoke. She didn't want to scare the blonde away by being too forward so instead she asked her, "What do you see?" Piper shrugged, "I see you." Alex's throat tightened, tears threatening to spill over and onto her cheeks. Piper noticed, sitting up on her knees and running a thumb beneath the brunette's eyes to wipe away the unshed tears. "What's wrong baby?" she whispered, looking at Alex's pained look. Alex took in a shallow breath, scared for her life, "I see you too." She says in a hushed tone. Piper's face softened, her lips pulling up into a smile so bright it was nearly blinding. "Sometimes I forget how much you love me." Piper said softly.

Alex blinked, her face now one of confusion, "How could you possibly forget something as sure as the sun rising?" Piper grinned, "Shakespeare has nothing on you." Alex shoved her, "I'm being serious; I wasn't doing anything good before I met you. I could've gone down a very dark path like my father." Piper looked at her sideways, too happy to be having this discussion, "But you didn't." Alex nodded, "Only because of you, in the beginning, I wasn't even sure what I was doing at Smith. I just thought of it as another chance to fuck up and to throw myself into a drowning sea of debt." Piper tucked a stray hair behind Alex's ear, "You are who you are baby, sometimes it just takes a little push to realize what that is exactly."

Alex's heart swelled with pure love as she looked up at the woman who was leaning over her. There was no doubt in her mind that she was making a mistake with loving her too much. There was no such thing as too much, she would never be able to love her as much as she wanted to because it was physically impossible to take Piper's heart and shove it into her own chest to keep hers company. She was never going to be satisfied with how close she could hold her; she would always want more than she could have, and that's what made her realize that she could never find anything that could come even close enough to compare to what she and Piper had.

XXX

A little while later, they had sat down to watch Back to the Future II, when Piper felt Alex's fingers dipping too low onto her hips. "What are you doing?" she whispered, trying to focus on Marty McFly trying to keep his father from getting the shit beat out of him by Biff. "Just focus on the movie." Alex mumbled into the blonde's ear, her hands skimming lower towards the waistband of her pajama pants. "Al, you would think five rounds not even an hour ago would've been enough to sate you for the time being." Alex smirked in her hair, "I could never get enough of you." She decided against Piper watching the movie and flipped her over to face her; she wanted to be looking into those ocean blues when she made her cum.

Alex had no patience, and in an attempt to not look like a dork fumbling with their first girlfriend's pants. "Lean back." she ordered, pushing Piper back onto the other end of the couch, situating herself in between the shorter woman's legs. Instead of going the easy route and just removing the offending pajama pants, Alex decided to burrow her way through them. Gripping onto each pant leg, Alex pulled outwards, ripping the pants at the seam, getting a now clear view of Piper's crouch. "Al, those were my favorite!" Piper scolded. Alex smirked up at her, "Well now they're my favorite too." Piper scoffed, getting ready to respond when all of the words she was about to say disappeared with the first lick of the brunette's hot tongue. She heard Alex chuckle at her gasp, making Piper gather what sense she had left to mutter, "You must have pelvic sorcery." Alex leaned up on her forearms, "What?" Piper smirked, "Shut up Harry Potter and make me cum." The taller woman raised a brow, "Bossy huh?" The blonde rolled her eyes, directing Alex's head back between her legs.

XXX

The next morning Alex was awoken by music, it was coming through the walls. She sat up, rubbing the side of her face where it had been pressed into the pillow. Piper wasn't in bed, that was the first thing she noticed, the second thing she noticed was that the music was coming from the bathroom and she could hear the faint sound of an accompanying voice belting out along to the beat, and the third thing Alex noticed was that the music playing was Def Leppard.

She slipped out of the bed, sauntering out and into the hallway; the bathroom door was cracked open to allow steam through. Alex smiled lightly, realizing the song was 'Love Bites'. She could hear Piper singing along,

"Love bites, love bleeds

It's bringin' me to my knees  
Love lives, love dies  
It's no surprise  
Love begs, love pleads  
It's what I need."

Alex could see that Piper's eyes were closed beneath the shower head as she swayed along to the song. She couldn't help but grin at the sight, crossing her arms over her chest; she leaned back against the sink to enjoy the view, not wanting to interrupt the blonde's antics. "Enjoying the view?" Piper asked, turning her back to Alex as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. "You know I do." Alex said. She waited for Piper to turn off the water, holding a towel open for Piper to step into. Once wrapped in her towel, Alex kissed Piper's forehead, "I think Joe Elliot had it right, love does bite, but it is the most satisfying pain one can endure."

XXX

"Piper I am not giving you a piggy back ride." Alex declared as they pulled up in front of their apartment building. "But Al, there's just so many stairs." Alex chuckled, "Woman, you go running every morning." Piper lolled her head to the side to face her girlfriend in the driver's seat, "Yes, but I don't go running when I'm tired." The brunette smirked, "I really tuckered you out with all of that amazing sex didn't I?"

Piper grinned, "Try the best sex ever; you wouldn't let me get off of my fucking back. You really know how to make a weekend memorable." Alex chuckled, unbuckling her seat belt. "I'm still not carrying you up to the third floor." Piper stuck out her bottom lip and gave Alex her best puppy dog eyes. Alex grimaced, opening her car door, "Nope, not gonna work." Piper whined, "Come on, I'll make it worth your while." She wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner as Alex laughed. "And you say I'm the nymphomaniac."

Piper watched as Alex rounded the front of the car, opening the passenger door and turning her back towards her, "Come on." Piper squealed, wrapping her arms around the taller woman's neck and her legs around her waist. "You're lucky I love you." Alex commented as she kicked the door shut and begun the trek up to their apartment.

Alex's phone went off in her jacket pocket, "Can you get that?" Alex asked Piper as she continued up the stairs. Piper pulled out the phone, pressing it to her ear, answering it, "Hello, Alex's phone." "Piper?" the voice on the other end sounded confused, tired, and frantic all balled up into a stream of tension. "Kathleen?" Piper said, also confused. Alex's aunt never called unless of an emergency, which meant…talk about 50 shades of déjà vu. She felt Alex stiffen beneath her as she held out her hand for the phone. "Piper, it's Diane, we're at the hospital. How fast do you think you can get here? It's not looking too good." Alex let Piper slide off of her back, her face frozen in horror as Alex took the phone from Piper, "Kathleen? What's going on? Is it mom? Is she alright?" She began to panic and breathe rapidly. She listened to her aunt speak more calmly to her before saying, "We'll be there in ten." She hung up, turning to Piper, "You don't have to come." The blonde had finally come to, shaking her head, "No, I'm coming with you." Alex nodded, not leaving it up for discussion as they both hurried back down the stairs and out to the car.

Once they reached the hospital and found out where they were keeping Diane, Alex started to breathe again, they were shallow but once she took in her mother in the hospital bed, with an I.V. sticking out of her arm, and a pained look on her face, Alex felt the need for a brown paper bag. Piper stood in the doorway, not knowing exactly what was going on past the fact that Diane was back in the hospital for some reason they weren't aware of just yet.

Kathleen was sitting beside her sister, her hair frizzy and still in her work clothes, looked over at the two women with a sad expression, "The doctor will be right back, I told him to wait till you got here to explain what was going on." She spoke solely to Alex as Piper gripped onto the brunette's hand tightly. Diane looked over at them as they stood in the doorway. "You brought Piper!" Alex frowned, rolling her eyes, "What happened?" Diane ignored her daughter for the moment as she directed all of her attention towards the blonde that stood beside Alex. "Piper, how have you been? Alex treating you right, I would like to think that that cast on her arm was well deserved." She joked, trying to make the situation not about her. Piper swallowed, her hands beginning to sweat as she let go of Alex's good hand to walk closer to the older woman. She immediately felt guilty for injuring her daughter, even if by mistake. "No, she uh, fell off of the bed."

Diane chuckled, "During what I could only assume was sleeping right?" she then looked over to Alex who was now engaged in a heated discussion with her aunt. The doctor approached the room then, knocking lightly on the open door before entering. It wasn't the same doctor who had administered the chemo, considering they were no longer in New York, but this doctor didn't look much older. He had gelled back hair that was combed into a small proportioned quaff. It made Alex want to roll her eyes, anyone that was that intent on their hairstyle clearly was worrying about the wrong thing. She immediately became more pissed when she noticed the doctor's eyes fall onto Piper, no doubt thinking he could take her out for drinks on a night much like this without the threat of cancer hanging over them, he was most likely the type that took pride in his job and used it in a way to get dates, he reminded her of the Cheshire cat minus the grin and double the arrogance. The thought of her mother in such hands made her sick to her stomach, and that was just his presence! The man had yet to open his mouth.

Everyone within the room turned to give the doctor their undivided attention as he cleared his throat before opening the file in his hand. "Ms. Vause, I wish I had better news." He said in a grave tone, one only used when death had something to do with it. Alex was informed by Kathleen that Diane had stopped eating the day before and she had started to feel a pain in her chest and upper abdomen. Alex moved over to sit in the chair next to her mother, holding Diane's hand within her own. Piper sat on the opposite side, gripping Diane's other hand. Kathleen now stood to the side as the doctor moved deeper into the room, stopping at the foot of her bed to write something on her chart. He looked up, shaking Alex's hand and then Piper's, holding the blonde's for a beat longer than Alex's. "I'm Dr. Masen." He said to Piper, keeping her gaze as Alex glared, her jaw tense.

Alex cleared her throat, no longer having the patience for the man's antics as she sat on the edge of her seat, "What have you found?" The doctor straightened, running his hands over his lab coat before returning back to the manila folder that he had tucked beneath his arm. "Well, it appears to be something new. We had administered a CAT scan to take a more in-depth look to where Diane has said she was feeling either pain or discomfort, and have found numerous tumors in her breast tissue and liver. Now, the fact that we are now entering well into stage four, there isn't much left that we can do that is going to make the difference that we need." Diane sighed heavily, making Alex jump, "Doctor, excuse my rudeness, but can you just get to the point please, a big fancy explanation isn't going to prolong my life any more than if I were sitting comfortably in my home right now with my nagging bitch of a sister." Kathleen glared daggers at her, making Alex chuckle, which was Diane's reason for calling names.

Dr. Masen nodded timidly, closing the file and tucking it back under his arm before stuffing his hands deep into his coat pockets. "It appears that you have gone from a seven month life expectancy to five." Alex's eyes widened, air escaping her lungs before she could latch onto it and breathe. Her chest hurt, her heart hurt, everything suddenly hurt. Her life was beginning to crash down even faster around her then she had ever anticipated, it wasn't fair, now she was getting her already short amount of time with her mother shortened and it wasn't fair. None of this was fair and it made her want to scream and rage and punch the man standing before her right in his goddamn Abercrombie face until it bled. She wanted to see red, paint the world with the blood of those who had ever done her wrong. Why was her mom dying when her lowlife scumbag of a father sat rotting away in a heroine high and an alcohol stupor, beating away at his broken drum set that was older than her, and he was perfectly fine?

Dr. Masen cleared his throat some making Alex snap out of her reverie, realizing that she was glaring at him, subconsciously hoping that she could make him feel the pain that she was currently feeling. She refocused her gaze on her knuckles which had turned white due to her tight grip on the chair arms. "Thank you Dr. Masen, when can I be discharged?" Diane asked, watching Alex out of the corner of her eye. The doctor put on a picture perfect smile, one that he probably assumed made everything better, when in fact it just made Alex's skin crawl. She hated him, for telling her Diane's fate, and for looking at Piper like she was a piece of meat. "It should only take another hour; we have to make sure a few things get signed before you leave." Diane nodded, no longer interested in the man as she now turned to her sister, "Kathleen, can you go get me some water please?" Kathleen nodded, pushing off of the wall she was leaning against to leave. "I'll go with her." Piper spoke up, standing from her chair and making her way around the bed to stand in front of her girlfriend. She saw the fear in Alex's eyes, like Piper was going to take this chance to run. Piper reached out, squeezing Alex's shoulder and saying, "We'll be right back."

Alex nodded as she watched Piper and her aunt leave the room together. She felt Diane squeeze her hand, turning to face her mother she felt like her heart would stop. Diane had only gotten paler, her hair limp with its natural curl no longer bouncy but dull. "Oh Mom." She gasped, leaning in and pressing her forehead into her mother's shoulder. Diane brought her hand up, caressing Alex's head. "It's okay Alex, we knew this was coming." Alex felt blood rush up into her cheeks and neck, she was pissed. Pulling away from the older woman, she sat up, "Yeah, but I thought I had more time!" Diane sighed; she was used to Alex's calm demeanor, along with her rare rants that could only be categorized as honest. "Time isn't everything Al; sometimes you only need a minute to change something you had prepared to make happen over the course of a year." Alex huffed, clearly not wanting to agree with her mother, she knew that she was right, but she wanted to sulk, she wanted to smash things and scream, she wanted to cry and curse, she wanted to flip the fuck out if only for a few minutes. Over the course of her twenty years, she had gotten everything that had ever mattered to her taken from her, everything except for Piper.

Diane waited patiently for Alex to calm down; running her fingers over the harsh plaster of her daughter's cast. "How's the arm?" Alex shrugged, "I've managed." Diane smirked, she knew better than anyone that Alex was a younger version of herself, and she loved it and sometimes she hated it. She knew even before she said something how Alex would react, how stubborn she could be, and how committed and determined she could be as well. "Of course you have, you're a fucking Vause!" She watched as the younger brunette smiled some, noticing that it didn't meet her eyes. "It's going to be alright, you'll learn to live again. You'll have to make some changes, switch out some of your priorities, maybe renovate your heart a little bit." Alex shook her head, "I'm never going to be able to let you go, I don't want you to take a piece of my heart with you, how will I be able to handle half a heart?" Diane smiled lightly, "By giving it entirely to Piper."

The taller woman winced, "You know I can't, it's too hard. What if she breaks it?" Diane shrugged, "It's too late, you already have. You just have to make sure you never give her the opportunity where she has your heart in one hand and a hammer in the other." Alex sighed, "And they say you have to go to college to be smart." Diane shoved her lightly, "The people that say that clearly haven't lived their life right." Alex rolled her eyes, "Working four jobs isn't exactly living Mom." Diane raised a brow, the signature Vause look, "Then what would you call it? I've been out in the world, I may have never left the states, but I have seen it all. I have raised the most beautifully smart woman I have ever known, and I have fallen in love more than once, I can't seem to find a reason to complain." Alex shook her head, "You have every reason to complain, you never had a minute to spare. You've always been working, and sleeping three hours in between shifts. Mom, you have never spent a dime on yourself, you've always been looking out for me and pulling my head out of my ass when I had gone too far to pull myself out." Diane grinned, "You've always been too much like me."

"Mom, I'm serious, how could you say that you have lived the best life when there are people out there who shit on gold toilets?!" Alex asked, completely confused. Diane continued to smile, "Because I have never needed a golden toilet. I have always had everything I needed because you had everything you needed. You may have not had the newest Hollister clothing, but you had a roof over your head and food in your stomach. Plus, I was always able to make you smile through your tears, like now." Alex smiled, she had never thought of it like that. Living simply never seemed like a luxury growing up, but she never stopped to think that maybe all you needed was what you had right in front of you. What was in arms reach was all you ever truly needed. Anything else, you would have to stretch for, and you can, but you have to do that knowingly. You don't need the things you want, you may strive to have those things, but you don't necessarily need them.

"How come you always know what to say?" Alex asked finally. She hadn't realized how long Piper and Kathleen had been gone. Diane shrugged, leaning back into her pillow, "You must have rubbed off on me." Alex rolled her eyes. Diane had never been a reader, but she would listen to Alex as she went on and on about the latest novel she had read, and the shitty poems she wrote when she was nine. Poetry had always been one of her passions, something she could always fall back on when she would plummet into her darker moments. She had yet to write one for a while now, but she was beginning to feel the familiar itch in her palm, the need to hold a pen and scratch out the words that would imprint themselves into her brain, swim around in her mind as she formed sentences out of them.

Piper returned with Kathleen moments later, carrying a water bottle and a carrier with two coffees. She handed Diane the water and Alex the coffee before taking her own out of the cardboard cup holder. Alex wasn't paying much attention to anything as she slowly caved into herself, thinking about everything that her mom had recently just told her, letting it all sink in as Piper took the time to pull a chair up beside her and rest her head on her shoulder. Alex was beginning to feel like she could handle it, her mother's death would surely make her fall to her knees, but she was no longer believing that it would knock her off of her feet entirely, and she had her mother and Piper to thank for that.

XXX

"So everything went okay?" Nicky asked the following night as her and Alex sat in the pub. Alex had just gotten off work and was now playing the crazy red head in a game of pool.

"No, nothing is okay, or fine, it's barely manageable really. I just hate seeing her like this, weak. Piper is with her now; we had her move back into the apartment because Kathleen was stretching herself a little too thin with work." Nicky nodded, "Did Chapman sign up for any summer classes?" Alex smiled, "Yeah, she has classes three times a week. She chose psychology and sociology." Nicky rolled her eyes, "She always did have the need to be the smartest one in the room." Alex grinned, "Yeah, she does."

Nicky smirked, finishing her beer and setting up her next shot at hitting the eight ball. "No way you're getting that." Alex remarked as she sat on a stool to the left of her. Nicky shushed her, claiming that talking would make her miss. Nicky positioned the stick at the right angle, bending down to be eye level with the table. "Any day now Nichols." Alex said to her. Nicky shook her head, "Fuck off Vause." Alex chuckled, sipping her beer as she took in the atmosphere of the old bar. The old sport memorabilia that adorned the walls gave just the right touch as the lights were dimmed to make what would usually look dingy and gross, sexy and alluring. Nicky finally after what seemed like hours took her shot, missing the pocket by a hair. Alex began to laugh as Nicky stood back up, glaring at her tall friend, "Alright, let's see you make it Sasquatch." Alex smirked, "Original." Nicky made a gesture as if to tell Alex to blow it out of her ass and moved so Alex could set up for her shot.

"You hear anything from Lorna?" Alex asked her. Nicky clammed up, picking up Alex's half empty beer and taking a swig, "She's off limits." Alex raised her hands in defense, "Hey, you brought up Piper." Nicky nodded, "Yes, and you're also getting laid." Alex winced, "That bad?" Nicky shrugged, "I'm just not feeling into it anymore, you know?" Alex cocked a brow, "Uh no and neither should you. Nichols, I can't even think of a time since I met you where you weren't chasing after someone, even if it was to just get into their pants." Nicky sighed, "You going to beat me at this long ass game or not?" Alex nodded, dropping the subject for the moment as she bent and took her shot. The eight ball fell into a pocket and Alex stood, doing a little victory dance. "Fuck you." Nicky said, making her way over to the bar. Alex followed her, moving behind it and pulling out another beer for her friend.

"Sometimes I just get so lonely man." Nicky remarked. That was Alex's way of knowing that the red head was truly wasted. Nicky would never admit to her feelings for anyone, let alone say how lonely she was. "Never get involved with a straight girl." Nicky murmured more to herself than to Alex as she nursed her beer. Alex wiped down the counter top, leaning her elbows on top and pressed up against the bar to make eye contact with Nicky. "Are you sure it's the fact that she's with a guy that's the problem, or is it the fact that your ego has been pulverized because of it?" Nicky rolled her eyes, "No one leaves me, I always leave them." Alex nodded, "Which is why you need to get her back." "Say again?"

Alex stood up straight, tossing the towel into a basket by the kitchen door. "You need to get Morello back. I'll help you." Nicky chuckled, "Hey Vause, just cause you're in love doesn't mean that I have to be." Alex smirked, "But you already are." Nicky frowned, "I don't know how many times I have to say this, but fuck you."


	27. Cold Showers with the Community Chest

"And with words unspoken

A silent devotion

I know you know what I mean

And the end is unknown

But I think I'm ready

As long as you're with me

Being

As in love with you as I am"

-'Angels' by The XX

XXX

Alex rolled over onto her stomach, her face deep in her pillow as she tried to get a few more minutes of sleep. She could hear Piper's quiet snores beside her as she faced the opposite wall. It had been a long night, she had to scrape a highly intoxicated Nicky off of the pavement after she had to take her phone from her so she wouldn't drunk dial Lorna. "You're better than this Nick, Morello will be available tomorrow after you've had your coffee and puked up your guts." Alex had told the much shorter red head. "How do you know? What if she elopes with fuck face?" Nicky had slurred. Alex had chuckled, "Fuck face, really?" Nicky batted her hand around as if to dismiss the conversation, "Shut up, you know who I mean."

Alex nodded; she did know who she had meant. "Is that something she would do?" she asked a moment later. Nicky looked at her through half-shut eyes, "What?" Alex sighed, "Lorna, would she really elope?" Nicky shrugged, "Fuck if I would know, that girl is all sorts of confusing." Alex leaned back on her heels, holding onto the counter so she wouldn't fall over. "Well, if eloping is something Lorna is thinking about, she better also take into consideration the possibility of someone crashing their Vegas wedding." Nicky looked up at Alex, an eyebrow raised in question, "What do you mean?"

"What, you're just going to let a wedding get in the way of you getting your girl back?" Alex asked. Nicky shrugged, "I don't know man, what if she is happy with him?" Alex scoffed, "Please, if she was truly happy with the guy she wouldn't have cheated on him with you." Nicky nodded, thinking it through. "I guess you're right." The red head finally said. Alex grinned, "I usually am."

Alex rolled over in the bed again to face Piper. Nicky had said that she was going to call Lorna after she recuperated from her hang over. Hopefully a phone call would be the beginning of getting the two back together. Alex couldn't help but think that if she was in the same situation as Nicky, that one call from Piper would send her reeling, to hear the blonde's voice, even if through static, it would make her rethink her entire life completely since she had seen her last.

Piper's eyes started to flutter before opening entirely, noticing that Alex lay beside her, staring at the ceiling with a look on her face that showed that she was deep in thought. "Burning wood this early in the morning?" she asked, breaking the silence. Piper looked over at the clock on Alex's night stand and internally groaned, she had a little over an hour and a half before she had to head to her first class of the day. It was the beginning of summer classes which were held over the course of August before the first semester started up in September. Alex looked over at her, "Good morning to you too." Piper smiled at the sleep in the brunette's voice, making her even more appealing. "You are so beautiful." Piper mumbled, cuddling close to her. Alex rolled her eyes, "Oh yes, knotted hair and morning breath, absolutely breath taking." Piper rolled her eyes, kissing Alex's chin and then her lips before sitting up, "I've got class soon." Alex groaned, "How soon is soon?"

Piper watched as Alex leaned up and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her back down towards her. The brunette had a familiar glint in her eye which only caused the muscles in Piper's stomach to tense. "A little over an hour." Alex smiled sweetly, "We've got a little time." She started kissing along the blonde's neck and shoulder. Piper fought the urge to moan, closing her eyes for a moment and sighed, "Babe, you know I want to but it's the first day." Alex ignored her, her hands inching their way up and under Piper's tank top to cup her breasts lightly. Piper moaned then, biting down on her lip so as not to be too loud. "Alex, your mom is in our living room." Alex smirked into her skin, "Believe me, I know. We haven't fucked in two days." Piper shook her head, "You know that's not true, what would you call yesterday in the car?" Alex huffed, letting up her kisses for the moment, "I meant in a bed where it's not hurried."

Piper kissed Alex's nose, "We will have hot amazing bed sex when I get home and your aunt comes by to take your mom out for dinner." She reached for the brunette's hands, pulling them out from her shirt, immediately missing the warmth of her hands on her erect nipples. Alex pouted, "Fine." Piper grinned, leaning down and kissing Alex for a little longer than deemed necessary before pulling away and climbing out of bed. "Think of that while I'm gone, and you better not be in the middle of a show when I get back, I can't be late, and you know if you're getting yourself off in here I will stay and watch." Alex smirked, "You are such a voyeur." Piper grinned, "What can I say? It's hot, you're hot. Now thanks to you, I'm going to go and get a cold shower due to said hotness."

Alex grinned, rolling her eyes before getting up herself and going out into the living room to check on her mother. Diane was still asleep as Alex made her way into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water. The brunette's phone went off where it sat on the counter charging.

Nichols: What the fuck happened last night? Get your ass to the dorms now.

Diane had stirred from the sound of the incoming text. "Mom, how did you sleep?" Alex asked once she saw Diane pull herself up into a sitting position on the couch. "It was okay." She looked over to her daughter, taking in the confused look on Alex's face, "Everything alright?" Alex nodded, still perplexed, "Yeah, its Nicky she needs to see me." Diane nodded as Alex grabbed up her phone and headed back into the bedroom to change.

Piper pulled the curtain of the shower back, looking around for her towel to find it not on the closed toilet seat where she had left it. The blonde looked up, finding Alex standing in the door way, towel in hand smirking, "That was one hot shower." Piper rolled her eyes, "It was cold actually." Alex nodded, "So I guess you would be needing this then?" she asked, holding up the towel. Piper narrowed her eyes at her, "What are you up to?" Alex shrugged, shutting the door behind her, "I just wanted to kiss my girlfriend goodbye before I head over to Nicky's." Piper nodded, holding her hand out expectantly for the towel. Alex shook her head, "Not yet, I'm enjoying the view."

Piper frowned, "Al, I'm cold." Alex smirked, looking down to the blonde's chest, "Oh I know." Piper shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest to cover her boobs, "Alex, give me my towel!" Alex raised a brow, "Or what?" Piper groaned, "Or nothing, stop acting like a child and give me it." Alex chuckled, "You're no fun." She said, moving in and kissing Piper's pout, "Here." She wrapped the towel around her shoulders. Piper smiled up at her, holding her towel closed as she stood on her tip toes to kiss Alex again before asking, "What are you and Nicky going to do?"

Alex shrugged, "I think she has questions about what happened after she got trashed last night." Piper smiled, "Well get out of here then, I'll see you tonight." Alex kissed her one more time before leaving the bathroom and promising her mom that she would bring her back lunch in a couple of hours.

XXX

"What did you want?" Alex asked as she entered her old dorm room. Nicky lay on her bed, her hands covering her eyes as she groaned, "I woke up next to fucking Melanie." Alex winced, "And the community chest strikes again." Nicky growled, "I fucking hate you." Alex chuckled, raising her hands in defense, "I brought your drunken ass back here, you must have seen her in the bathroom or something." Nicky cradled her head in her hands, "This is all kinds of fucked up."

Alex moved over to her friend, sitting down alongside her, and rested a hand on the red head's shoulder. "It's not so bad Nick, I've played in that chest once or twice myself." Nicky frowned, "This isn't a laughing matter." "Oh, sorry Miss. Nichols, I didn't realize that there was a no joke rule put in place." Nicky shoved her, "Don't you ever get tired of being a smart ass?" Alex raised a brow, "Don't you ever get tired of pussy?" They both glared at each other before bursting out into laughter, "Nah." They said in unison.

"So are you done bitching and moaning about Morello and going to woman up, or do you need another night of drinking and fucking because I would recommend the former." Alex said once they were both done laughing. Nicky sighed, "I don't want to give up on her Vause." Alex nodded, "As you shouldn't, not unless she tells you to." Nicky nodded, agreeing with her taller friend. "You know how Lorna can get sometimes, she's so dramatic and such a romantic, maybe she's waiting for me to run after her?" She tried to reason, thinking up any possible excuse rather than to think that Morello had stopped caring about her at the drop of a hat. Alex shrugged, "I don't see why not, although I would've never pin pointed you as the dog who would chase her." Nicky smirked, winking at her, "Now Vause, you know flattery will get you everywhere."

XXX

After sorting out Nicky's drunken adventures, Alex had returned home with lunch for her mother and herself. Diane had been sitting on the couch, watching TV when she had come in. "How's Nicky?" Diane asked at her daughter's reappearance. Alex shrugged, "Nicky is Nicky, too stupid to realize how smart she is." Her mom nodded, "Sounds like you." Alex rolled her eyes as she set out their sandwiches onto plates and brought them out to the couch.

"I got you chicken salad." Alex said, passing Diane her sandwich. "Alex, I have something to ask of you." Alex raised a brow, suddenly concerned, "What is it?" Diane rolled her eyes at Alex's worry, "There's just something I need you to grab from my house. Take Nicky if you want, but don't take Piper." Alex raised a brow, "Why can't I bring Piper?" Diane smirked, "Because you are going to go get something that will help you surprise her. Wouldn't want her to know what we were up to." Alex set down her plate, "Which is what exactly?"

Diane took notice to her daughter's wariness, knowing that what she was saying sounded oddly suspicious. Waving her hand as if to calm Alex, Diane said, "I see the way you look at her, and I know that we don't come from money and that I had to hawk your grandmother's engagement ring years ago, but I want you to be able to give the girl something when you're ready." Alex's eyes widened as her throat went dry. A ring? An engagement ring? Alex felt light headed all of a sudden. She couldn't picture herself being married, to have a ring on her finger and to be tied to someone for the rest of her life, even if it was Piper.

There was no doubt in her mind that Piper was the love of her life, but marriage had never been something she had found enticing. Her mother never married, and her aunt and uncle though they never divorced, hated each other. She forced herself to swallow, thinking of something to say to her mother. She wasn't ready to propose, she wasn't ready period.

Diane saw the look on Alex's face and laughed so hard it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She had a feeling that her daughter would react this way, but the older woman couldn't help but believe that Alex just needed the proper kick in the ass to realize that what she had with Piper was it. "You don't have to do anything now; I just want you to be able to afford something." Alex sighed, all of the sudden pressure sliding off of her shoulders. Relief covering her face as she spoke, "You nearly killed me just then." Confusion suddenly overtook her features as she realized what her mother had said, "Is there a shit ton of money you have shoved under your mattress that I'm not aware of?" Diane rolled her eyes, "No, but I do have something that could be worth a pretty penny, something that means jack to me, the only reason I still had it was because of you. After you met your father, and I have still yet to know what became of that meeting, I found all of his band's memorabilia in the trash, even his signed drumsticks." Alex found herself growing angry at the mention of her dead beat father, "What about them?" she didn't want to be interested in what her mother was telling her, she didn't want to think about having to go back to her childhood home and retrieve something of her father's, to have to look at his signature, to touch something that he had once used frequently, and above all she didn't want to feel that familiar pull in her chest at the mention of the lack of a father she had.

"I want you to sell them and use the money to buy a ring so you can give it to Piper, when you find it appropriate of course, when it feels right." Alex could barely think, her mind was captivated with the dark memory of her father, and a child hood not long ago where she had worshiped said man. Then she thought of her mother and her decreasing health, one day fairly soon she would no longer be there, and she couldn't help but think that her mother was bringing this up now in a way to tell her that she wanted to be there when her only daughter was married, to see her be happy, something she hadn't been in a very long time, if ever. Lastly she thought of Piper, her Pipes. The most beautiful woman she had ever come across and the only person who had ever held her heart. Somehow it all made sense, everything had finally clicked, and what her mother was asking of her all started to seem reasonable. She was no longer afraid of the future, and what could or couldn't happen. Suddenly, Alex knew that proposing to Piper was the only thing holding her back from having the life she had always wanted.


	28. Stage Wigs and Drumsticks

"I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart

But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms around me and I'm home"

-'Arms' by Christina Perri

XXX

"Road trip Vause?" Nicky asked, a brow raised in question, as she climbed into the passenger seat. Alex rolled her eyes, putting the car into drive as she began to drive down the road. "If that's what you want to call it, sure." "Of course I do you fucker!" Nicky exclaimed, rolling her eyes as if it was obvious. Alex shook her head, as Nicky continued, "I use to go on road trips all the time with my mother, that was until I was old enough to realize that she was just driving around the block a couple of times before dropping me off at the nanny's."

Alex looked over to the red head before focusing her eyes back onto the road, staying silent because there was nothing worth saying, it wasn't the first time Nicky had given Alex a reason to believe that her mother was a horrible person. "Fucking bitch." Nicky muttered as she stared out the window.

Alex smiled lightly, finally thinking of something to say that would clear the awkward air, "Well I'm not going to drop you off anywhere Nick, not unless they're offering money to make stage wigs." Nicky smirked, "Fuck off." They both began to laugh, before letting it die out after a moment.

"So where are we going anyways?" Nicky asked once the silence had returned. Alex didn't move her eyes from the road, "Nowhere special." Nicky placed a hand over her heart in mock hurt, "Oh well, now I'm really touched, no wonder you didn't bring Chapman."

Alex rolled her eyes, "We're going to my Mom's." The shorter of the two raised a brow in curiosity, "What for? I always knew I was Diane's favorite." "Nicky you met her one time, and that was when you dropped off dinner for her while I was at work."

The red head smirked, "And do you think I just let her eat all by lonesome? I ate with her you asshole, and we had quite a lot to say, about you in particular actually." Alex chuckled, "Great, I should've known."

"Did you know she also has a huge crush on Gerard Butler?" Alex rolled her eyes at that, of course she knew who her mother drooled over, she had to listen to her go on and on about his Scottish accent from time to time, and Alex understood that, she may be super gay, but she could appreciate good eye candy when she saw it, even if she wouldn't fuck it. Now, show Alex someone like Natalie Dormer and she would be on the fucking floor.

Alex finally snapped out of her sex ridden thoughts and responded to Nicky's earlier question, "We're getting something." Nicky shook her head at the lack of detail, "Am I allowed to know what this something is? It's not anything kinky is it?"

Alex grimaced at the question, "Ew, no it's my dad's drumsticks!" Nicky scrunched up her face in confusion, "Drumsticks? I thought your old man was some dead beat?" Alex nodded, frowning at the mention of him, "He was, literally."

"So he was a drummer? Was he any good?" Nicky asked, wanting to know as much about Alex's past as she could before she shut her out. "Define good." Alex said, her knuckles turning white on the steering wheel. "Well what band did he play for?" Nicky asked again, eyeing Alex's tightening jaw. "Death Maiden." The brunette said warily, she had never met anyone that had known the band so she was pretty sure that she would be safe with saying this. Nicky's eyes widened in shock, "What?! Your dad is Lee Burley?!"

Alex finally looked over at her, a brow raised in interest, "You know who they are?" Nicky nodded vigorously, "Hell yeah, they're fucking awesome! I've seen them four times!" Alex glared back at the road, her eyes visibly darker. Nicky noticed the dark and now hardened demeanor and leaned back into her seat, "I mean, they weren't that good, especially that drummer, who the fuck does he think he is anyways, smashing his fucking drums in at the end of every tour?" Alex smirked slightly, but continued to glare. She hated her father and the fact that he was a good drummer, and he was in a good band, but whenever it came to her and her mother, he had been anything but great.

XXX

"So how's school?" Polly asked as Piper handed her a coffee from the café. "It's good, all of the material is really interesting." The brunette nodded, taking a sip of her drink before setting it down on the table.  
"How've you been feeling?" Piper asked. Polly was still pretty thin, but was beginning to show a little bit. "Good, yeah everything is great. Pete's been really supportive, and it's all thanks to Alex really. I can't believe I'd ever say this, but you really have something special Pipes, like really fucking special." Piper grinned from ear to ear, thinking of her girlfriend, "Yeah she's pretty amazing isn't she?"

Polly nodded her head as she took another sip of her coffee, "So what's up? You said you wanted to ask me something?" the blonde nodded slowly, "I've been thinking, and I'm just extremely happy you know? Like I wake up every morning next to Alex and I think that it couldn't get any better. I finally feel like I'm part of something great, and I love her. I love her so much, way more than I ever cared about Larry or anyone else for that matter. She's my home Pol, and I want to marry her."

Polly nearly choked on her drink, eyes widening slightly, "Really?" Piper raised a brow in confusion, "What?" Polly shook her head, "It's just, you guys haven't even been together for a year and you want to marry her?" Piper shrugged, "I love her Polly, and I want Diane to be able to see her only daughter get married before she passes away."

Polly thought for a moment, nodding her head as she weighed the pros and cons in her head. She couldn't necessarily find more than one reason as to why her best friend shouldn't get married, that reason being how early it was in their relationship, but she could see why she wanted to propose to Alex. "So what do you need me to do?" Polly asked. Piper smiled, "I need you to keep Alex busy tonight while I go to my grandmother's to get her engagement ring. I have already talked to her on the phone and she wants me to have it, for Alex to have it." Polly smiled widely, "I'm glad you finally know what you want, I'll stick by your side even if you decided that you were only going to wear trash bags for clothes for the rest of your life."

Piper chuckled lightly before standing, "I have to get ready for class, but after that I'm gonna head out to grandmother's." Polly nodded, "I'll stop by your house later and ask Alex what she thinks of the nursery paint colors I have picked out." Piper smirked, "She'll love that."

XXX

"Alright class, I'd first like to finish up what we were talking about last time." Professor Jones addressed the class as he paced back and forth in front of his desk that sat at the front of the room. He came to a standstill, turning to face the class, his lips curling up into a lilted smile as he spoke, "Nurture vs. Nature, now studies show that both have a huge part in the personality and lives of all of us, but which do they say has more of an impact?"

Piper sat on the edge of her seat, jotting notes down in her notebook when she heard a girl sigh. It was the young blonde that sat next to her, Emma something. She had her head in her hand as she gazed googly-eyed at the professor. "Isn't he just wonderful?" she asked to no one in particular. Piper smirked; she remembered what it felt like to be totally enamored by somebody, to believe that they hung the moon.

"He does know what he's talking about." Piper answered her, making the blonde startle. "Uh, yeah, yeah he does." Emma said warily. She was studying to become a detective so it was only normal for her to become suspicious of people at first. "Oh, sorry I'm Piper Chapman." Piper introduced herself, holding out her hand to shake.

"Emma Swan." The girl said, shaking her hand. The Professor's voice broke through their awkward meeting, "Anyone have any idea as to why nurture is stronger than nature?"

Emma turned away from Piper and raised her hand, hoping upon hope that Professor Jones' beautiful blue eyes caught the motion. His smirk turned into a grin as he pointed towards the cute blonde, "Ah yes, Miss Swan, do you have the answer that has kept all of us on our toes for years?"

Piper watched as a blush bloomed across Emma's neck as she spoke, "The reason nurture has such a hold on one's personality is because even though someone may be born and raised with humans, doesn't mean that they will know how to act and think. People learn and react the way they are taught to, or what they are around all of the time. For example, a racist isn't born a racist, they are taught to be one."

Professor Jones continued to smile at Emma like she had hung the moon and that's when it clicked for Piper. She nearly gasped, Ohhhhhh, she thought.

"Thank you Miss Swan, it seems that we all could learn a thing or two from you." Jones said. Piper could've sworn she saw him wink.

XXX

"Hey Vause, so now that you have the drumsticks, what are we gonna do with them? I thought you hated the guy?" Nicky asked as she stared at the signed drumsticks in her lap, the closest she would ever be to wood.

Alex looked over at her friend, sighing slightly, "We're selling them." Nicky rolled her eyes, "I figured that much, but seriously, how many questions are you going to make me ask before you tell me why you need the money now after all these years?"

Alex sighed, she had hoped to keep the proposal a secret for a little while longer, but figured that she could tell Nicky now, she wouldn't tell anyone, and maybe she could even help pick out a ring in the process. "I'm going to propose to Piper." She spit out in one quick breath, hoping that Nicky's reaction wouldn't be as bad as she expected. There was a moment of silence. "Shit Vause, really?" Nicky asked her facial expression one of pure shock.

Alex shrugged, "I want my mom to be there for the wedding you know? We are kind of on a time schedule now." Nicky nodded, "Of course, you were gonna marry her anyways right, so why not now?" Alex was slightly taken aback by the red head's response, Nicky was Piper's friend first, she had suspected a little more of a hesitation from her at the least. "Right." She said, hoping her voice didn't reveal the tremor that she was currently fighting.

"So how much do you think these'll go for?" Nicky asked after a moment, holding up the drumsticks in her hand. Alex sighed, "Enough to buy a nice ring hopefully." Nicky waved her hand to dismiss the doubt, "Of course it'll be enough, Chapman deserves only the best, and the best is whatever you can afford Vause, to think just two rings and a few vows later and you guys will be known as Vauseman!" Alex shook her head, "You never cease to surprise me Nichols."

Nicky grinned, drumming the dashboard with the sticks before saying, "That's my job Vause, to keep you on your toes so you don't start going soft on me!" Alex rolled her eyes, before snatching the sticks out of her hands, "And it's also your job not to fuck around with something we're about to sell!"


	29. Color Swatches and Ring Antics

"I got my eyes set on you,

My heart is burning red.

All of my words come out wrong,

Run circles in my head.

You had me and I melted,

In the palm of your hand.

You know it yes I felt it,

You'll never understand."

-'Pardon Me' by He is We

XXX

Piper left the campus and made her way back to the apartment, in hopes that Alex hadn't already gotten home. She didn't want to bump into her, knowing that if she did she would lose her courage, or she would blurt it out in nervousness.

She needed to be in and out quickly, dropping off her books before grabbing her car keys and driving out to her grandmother's house, no fucking around. No stopping to chit-chat with Diane, if she was even there, and chance having Alex show up while they were talking.

Piper quickly climbed the stairs to their apartment, unlocking the door and let out a sigh of relief when she had entered an empty living room. Diane was out with Kathleen. Piper placed her books down onto the counter and picked up her keys, relocking the front door and made her way out to her car.

She rarely drove her car, usually walking everywhere that she needed to go, but it did come in handy for whenever she decided to go visit her family in Connecticut. She pulled out of her parking space and headed off in the direction of Celeste's.

XXX

"You sure this is the one Nick?" Alex asked the red head as they stood in front of the glass counter, several ring displays out on top for them to inspect, but there was one ring in question that Nicky had quickly plucked up out of its velvety white bed and raised it to the light to see it sparkle. She had handed it immediately over to Alex, "That's the one."

Alex looked down at her, meeting her brown eyes and raised a brow, "Who would've thought you would know good bling when you saw it?"

Nicky stuck out her tongue, "You just wish you had the skill I have to woo a lady."

The brunette chuckled, shaking her head; leave it to Nichols to tease her in a moment of stress. Alex was really beginning to lose her shit, the proposal was fine in perspective, and when she had mentioned and talked about it to her mom and Nicky, but as soon as she had sold her father's drumsticks, there was no going back. Alex wasn't afraid of making the wrong decision, nothing had ever felt more right then asking Piper to marry her, but something still felt off. Whether it was the bottomless pit in her stomach that doubled as an empty cavern of doubt, or the fact that the man behind the counter was eyeing her as if she was gonna run off with the ring in her hand.

"So, what do you think Vause? You like it, or keep looking?" Nicky asked suddenly, breaking the daze in which Alex had zoned off into.

Alex shifted her eyes between the diamond and the jeweler, and then over to the shorter woman beside her, biting her lip in uncertainty. The ring was breathtaking, it had a thin band and a small diamond, nothing flashy or even remotely jaw-dropping, but Alex could practically hear it shouting the blonde's name.

She nodded her head slowly, "I think you found the one Nicky." Alex finally said. The man behind the counter, who had introduced himself earlier as Chris, nodded fondly at the ring, "That ring has been sitting around for some time now, in fact it's from last winter's collection, but I couldn't bring myself to take it off the shelf. I just knew someone would come in and fall in love with it." Gone was the judgmental look when Alex had pulled out a wad of cash, paying the full price of the ring in a matter of seconds.

Leaving the store Nicky struggled to keep up with the brunette's long strides, "Man oh man, that guy was a total douche. He kept looking at us like we were gonna steal something!"

Alex nodded, agreeing silently as she climbed into the driver's seat of her car and waited for Nicky to do the same. Her jean pocket suddenly felt a thousand pounds heavier, and as if the tiny ring box was burning a hole into her thigh.

XXX

"Here it is, I had sent it out to be sized yesterday, I called Tom up and he did it in under an hour." Celeste said as she came out of her room with a small black box in her hand.

Piper gulped, her palms sweaty at the sudden weight of her future that her grandmother had just placed in her hand. Her throat was suddenly dry and itchy, and the room grew unbearably hot. Maybe she wasn't ready for this kind of commitment, after all what if Alex said no? What if the brunette even so much as broke up with her because the pressure of starting a new life when her old one was ending so rapidly was too much? Piper began to clam up; the last thing she wanted was to chase Alex off.

"Piper, are you okay?" Celeste asked as she sat across from her granddaughter in the old rickety armchair.

The blonde nodded slightly, only half listening to what the older woman was saying as she continued to worry over the what-ifs of her near future. How was she even going to propose? How was she going to ask? Was she going to get down on her knee? Say her whole name? Did she even know Alex's middle name? She was most definitely positive that she did, but just couldn't remember it at the moment. Then more questions started to fill her mind, where was she going to ask her? In the middle of her fucking living room with her mother watching? Surely not. Maybe in the park? No, too cliché.

Celeste chuckled at the white pallor of the blonde's face, taking a large sip of her tea as she watched Piper's brain spiral into the dark depths of a neurotic's biggest nightmare, the unknown. "You can come up for air you know." Celeste had finally said, breaking the silent spell that had fallen over the room.

Piper looked up from where her gaze was pasted to the fraying edges of the throw rug between her boots, sitting up straighter and running her sweaty hands over her thighs. She quickly placed the ring box onto the coffee table in front of her. She couldn't hold it anymore; to be frank it fucking terrified her now. What the fuck had she been thinking?

"Piper please, if I have to sit here and stare at you silently beat yourself up for another minute, I'll throw your ass out myself." Celeste said, placing her mug onto the table, right next to a coaster that hadn't been moved in years. She liked the dark rings that past coffee cups had left behind; it gave the table some character, like it was a veteran of sorts.

"I'm sorry grandmother, it's just, I'm fucking terrified." Piper said, her eyes finally meeting the older woman's.

Celeste nodded, "Well of course you are, if you weren't scared then there would be a problem."

"What do you mean?" the blonde asked, shifting in her seat to comply to her stiff ass muscles.

Her grandmother shrugged, as if the answer was so simple, which she believed it was. "If proposals were easy, they wouldn't be worth it. No one should ever be so sure of themselves that they aren't even the slightest bit nervous when it comes to popping such a life changing question. It's the moment where you shit or you get off the pot, as they say."

Piper smirked at her grandmother's metaphor, only she would figure out a way to compare asking someone to marry you to taking a shit.

"So why are you really scared, it's not because you don't think Alex will say yes is it? Because if that's the case, you are a lot dumber than I thought you were, sweetie, the woman thinks you hung the moon, the way she looks at you. Now tell me what you're really worried about." Celeste requested, she wanted to be able to understand where her granddaughter was coming from.

Piper shifted her eyes back to the box, picking it up and opening it to reveal a ring as beautiful as she had remembered it, a medium band with a diamond in the middle and a sapphire and emerald on either side, a change in gemstones to match the brunette's eyes. "I'm afraid that I'm going about this all wrong, like it's not the right time."

Celeste shrugged once more, "There never really is a right time, you just have to decide whether it's what you really want or not."

Piper looked up at the older woman wide-eyed, of course she wanted this. There was nothing she wanted more than to be engaged and then married to Alex. "Of course I want to marry her!"

Celeste smirked, returning her mug to her lips, "I thought as much."

XXX

"Polly, what the fuck are you doing here?" Alex asked as she opened her door to find the smaller brunette, two months pregnant sitting at her kitchen bar, peeling an orange.

Polly looked up from her diligent work and smiled brightly at Alex, "Oh Alex, sorry I just let myself in."

"You have a key?" Alex asked incredulously as she slipped her bag off of her shoulder, barely taking notice to the sound of it hitting the wall as she hung it up by the door next to her coat.

Polly smirked, anything to piss the taller woman off. Alex had been so nice to her lately that Polly had truly missed the spit fire that she had once known the woman to be. "Oh yeah, I had Piper make me one, you know, in case of emergencies."

Alex nodded, dismissing the subject, she didn't really care all too much, she would have at least liked the heads up though. What if she had been planning to come home and masturbate? Alex chuckled to herself, she had much bigger issues on her plate. She smoothed a hand over her pocket, feeling the lump of the ring box and quickly turned so Polly couldn't see it. The brunette had already gone back to her peeling.

"So what brings you here? Where's Piper?" Alex asked as she headed into her bedroom and quickly tucked the box beneath her socks, the only article of clothing Piper didn't feel the need to 'borrow'.

"Piper's at class still, she has a project to do or something, said she was gonna be awhile because she was going to head over to the library to do some research." Polly said loud enough for Alex to hear from the bedroom.

Alex reemerged, moving over to the fridge to pull out a beer, popping the top off and leaned across the bar from Polly. "So why are you here then?"

Polly rolled her eyes at the question, "Good to know that I hold a special place in your heart Vause."

Alex chuckled at the use of her last name, the only person that made a habit out of using it was Nicky, mostly because she had a weird fixation with last names, that or it was a fetish, but she did call Morello Lorna so Alex quickly chose against that theory.

Polly continued to speak, "Anyways, I just stopped by because I wanted your opinion on something." She leaned over to where she had placed her bag on the stool beside her, pulling it up onto the counter and rifling through it until she came to the item she was looking for, a color swatch book.

"What is that?" Alex asked curiously, tipping back her bottle for another sip.

Polly smirked, pushing her bag back off of the counter and opened the book, "I need you to help me decide on what color to paint the nursery."

Alex's face paled, standing up straight, "Oh I don't know, that sounds like something Piper would know."

Polly shook her head, "No, if I let Piper pick the color, she'll wind up thinking she can help with names too." She flipped through the swatches, stopping at two shades of cream. "Now, which shade do you think, vintage cream or crisp linen?"

Alex nearly choked on her beer, staring at the shorter woman, her brow raised, "You want me to help you pick out a color for your bun in the oven?" She was taken aback at Polly's sudden nicety, not that the brunette had ever been particularly rude to Alex, but they had never been buddy-buddy either.

Polly glared at Alex, "Wow, and just when I thought you had come up with every joke in the book on my pregnancy."

Alex shrugged, smirking, "It's a gift."

XXX

Piper locked the doors of her car before climbing the stairs up to her apartment. The ring box lay in the bottom of her bag, hidden for the time being.

Opening the door to the apartment, she found that the lights were on, but there was no sound coming from inside. Piper slipped out of her boots and carried her bag into the open living room where she found Polly reading something on her phone, with Alex asleep in the armchair. Piper couldn't help but smile at her girlfriend, who had a book of paint swatches resting on her stomach.

Polly looked up at the sound of the front door shutting and smirked, "Out like a light." She said, jutting a thumb out in the direction of the sleeping brunette.

Piper nodded, "Thank you."

Polly shrugged, "It was nothing, all I had to do was mentioning baby and the girl almost keeled over."

Piper chuckled quietly, "I'm just going to go hide it before she wakes up."

Polly rolled her eyes, "Trust me, I broke a glass earlier, and she didn't so much as twitch."

Piper shook her head in disbelief, "You broke something?"

Polly smirked, "It was that ugly mug your mother gave you anyways, it was an accident, but I can't say that I feel too bad for ending its sorry life."

Piper sighed before heading into the bedroom and placing the ring box in an old shoe box underneath the bed on her side, no way Alex would find it.

"Hey, I'm gonna go." Polly said as she leaned into the doorway of the bedroom.

"Okay, I'll see you later." Piper said, standing up and walking her to the door, turning back to look at Alex, Piper smiled, the nervousness of her stomach settling for the moment.


	30. Toddlers and Mallets

"Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.

They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.

You make me rise when I fall."

-'Every Time We Touch' by Cascada

XXX

**Three Months Later…**

**(November)**  


Alex paced back and forth in her dressing room, she wasn't ready for this. She didn't think she would ever be ready for this. In just ten minutes she was going to be standing before a minister next to Piper in front of all of their friends and family, and Alex Vause could not fucking do it.

She couldn't get married, not now. She wasn't marriage material, that' s what all of her exes told her, that' s what she told them, what she told herself.

Alex couldn't believe that this was the end of the line for her sex life, what if one day down the line she would wake up in a cold sweat next to Piper and for some fucked reason not feel whole? What if one day far into the future, the blonde no longer felt like enough?

Now the brunette knew that what she was thinking was absolutely crazy, Piper was enough, and she would always be enough, but what if that day down the road, suddenly she wasn't enough for the blonde? What happened when she grew old and wrinkly because it was inevitable, would Piper still see her as fuck-able, because Alex loved sex far too much to give it up.

Nicky had stepped out of the room a few minutes ago to talk to Polly, she didn't know yet that Piper had invited Lorna to the wedding. She was bound to find out now, mostly because Alex swore she had just heard Nicky shout profanities and was now making her way back to her room to yell at her instead of Piper, who really was the one at fault.

XXX

_"Do you think we should invite Lorna?" Piper asked as she sat on the arm of the couch, the end of her pen stuck between her front teeth as she analyzed the guest list._

_Alex shrugged, not really caring who was at their wedding as long as she was marrying Piper. "If you want to, can't say what Nicky will do to you when she finds out." She said, leaning her head back into Piper's lap._

_The blonde looked down at her fiancé, her beautiful and mischievous one at that, she thought as she took notice to Alex playing with the strings of Piper's sweatpants, trying to loosen the waistband. She slapped the brunette's hands, "I'm serious Al, do you think we should?"_

_Alex stopped her ministrations as she looked up at Piper, she thought of a moment not even a week ago where she had met up with Nicky to find out that Lorna had told Nicky that they were over, and that she was now engaged to Christofah or fuck face as the red head had chosen to call him. Alex pursed her lips, thinking about a worst case scenario where Nicky and Lorna ripped each other's faces off or the more likely of the two, fuck in the bathroom and then regret it later. "Sure, invite her, even if they cause a scene, at least we won't have to pay the band."_

_Piper rolled her eyes, jotting Lorna's name down onto the growing list of people._

XXX

"What the fuck is she doing here?" Nicky asked as the door to the dressing room banged open.

"Don't look at me, I didn't plan shit." Alex said, checking her hair in the mirror for the umpteenth time, it was clipped up in a classy twist that Polly claimed would make her look sexy, when all it made Alex think of was that she looked like a Helena Bonham Carter stunt double.

Nicky rolled her eyes, shutting the door behind her and moved farther into the room. "Well you must have had something to do with it clit-for-brains!"

Alex raised a brow in the mirror, looking at Nicky through the reflection, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

The red head shook her head, "It means that you'll do almost anything to make Chapman happy because you know you'll get laid in the end!"

The brunette turned around to face her maid of honor, "Oh like you're any different!"

"Which is exactly my point! Lorna's here and she's one of your soon-to-be wife's brides maids!" Nicky shouted, frustrated with the whole situation.

Alex sighed; she had a feeling this was going to happen. It wasn't long ago now that Nicky had told her what Lorna had said, that she thought she could do better than the red head and apparently that better than was fuck face.

XXX

_When Alex had gotten to work, Nicky was already there polishing off what looked like her fifth shot of what she could only assume was Jameson._

_"Rough day?" Alex asked as she slid behind the bar and stuck her bag underneath the counter._

_The red head looked up at her, her brown eyes glazed over as she looked at Alex with such a saddened expression, that even the brunette felt the need to suddenly down half the bottle of Irish whiskey herself. "That bad huh?"_

_Nicky nodded slowly, her reflexes much slower due to the, what appeared to be much needed alcohol running through her system. "You'd never believe the shit she said to me Vause." She finally said, her voice as rough as gravel._

_Alex looked around the bar, there weren't that many people there that early in the afternoon anyways, and those that were had already been taken care of by Cindy, the other bartender that had just left, so she poured herself a shot. "What did she say?"_

_Nicky shifted on her stool, leaning her elbows onto the table as she watched Alex take her shot. "She said that we were done, that she didn't love me, and that she had chosen him."_

_Alex set down her glass, shaking her head. "Well fuck her then, I like Morello, but if that's what she said to you Nick, you've got to move on."_

_Nicky nodded, tears now in her eyes, which was a first for Alex, she had never seen the shorter woman cry before. "It hurts." She muttered through a voice thick with emotion that would make even the most ignorant person feel something._

_Alex frowned, she knew exactly what Nicky was going through, she had felt the same way when her Dad hit on her, although she didn't necessarily love him, especially not in a way such as Nicky and Lorna, but she still knew how it felt to get your heart broken. It hurt, and now it made sense why animals as big and strong as elephants could die from one._

XXX

There was a knock at their door before Polly entered the room, stopping when she noticed Nicky and Alex in a stand-off. "Everything okay in here?" she asked, her eyes shifting back and forth between the two, her stomach more prominent now five months into her pregnancy.

Alex looked up from Nicky, looking at the shorter brunette over the red head's shoulder. "Yeah, we're fine. Nicky just didn't know that Lorna was going to be here."

Polly raised a brow, she had known that Lorna and Nicky had been on the outs back when they had gone to the drive-in all those months ago, but she hadn't given it much thought since then. "Is there going to be a problem because she is here?" She asked, she didn't want Piper's big day to be ruined because of ex-lovers.

Nicky rolled her eyes and shook her head, "No, don't worry about me little mama, I'll be on my best behavior." She said through gritted teeth, it was really hard to like Polly sometimes, especially when she lacked empathy, which was pretty fucking often when it came to the red head.

Polly nodded, looking over to Alex who was adorned in a floor length white dress with white lace overtop the silky cloth that made up the majority of the dress. It had straps because the taller woman had claimed that even on their best day, her boobs weren't to be trusted. "Alex, you look beautiful." Polly said, moving even closer to the women, knowing now that she wasn't going to get her head taken off by a rouge heel.

Alex blushed slightly; marriage was really turning her soft.

XXX

_Alex tapped her foot against the tile in their kitchen. She was nervous, beyond that even at this point. Piper was due home in a few minutes and Alex had plans to take her out, but not only to do just that, but to propose to her too._

_She was planning to take her back to where they had their first date, which was the field a few blocks from the university. She would've taken her back to the cabin, but there had never been much luck for them there._

_Alex heard the front door shut then, pushing off of the counter, she walked into the living room to find the blonde slipping off her shoes. "Hey babe." Alex greeted her._

_Piper turned to face her towering girlfriend and smiled, "Hi baby, let me just go get changed real quick, and we can go." She kissed Alex on the cheek briefly before walking past her and into their bedroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. She quickly shed her clothes, picking out jeans and a flannel because Alex had told her not to dress up and it was now September, where the nights were chilly which wasn't uncommon for Massachusetts._

_Piper knelt down beside the bed and pulled the shoe box out from beneath her side, where it had resided for the past three weeks and pulled out the small ring box that was tucked inside. Every now and then since it was hidden, Piper would find herself waiting for Alex to fall asleep at night, before opening the box and staring at the ring, imagining what it would look like once it was on the brunette' s finger._

_"You ready?" Alex asked from the other side of the door._

_Piper jumped, startled from her reverie, "Yeah, I'll be right there, just looking for my hoodie."_

_Alex's voice could be heard from the hallway, smirking no doubt, "You mean my hoodie?"_

_Piper rolled her eyes, her grin bigger than it had ever been, "Maybe." She says as she slips the ring box into her sweatshirt pocket and slipped it on over her head._

XXX

"This is ridiculous, you have to be standing next to me at the alter! That's the whole point of you being my fucking maid of honor!" Alex shouted from one side of the bathroom door where Nicky had locked herself in.

"Not now Vause, I need a moment to clear my head!" Nicky shouted from inside.

"Nichols, we don't have a moment, the ceremony starts in five fucking minutes!" The brunette shouted once more, her chest clenching and unclenching around her ribcage.

XXX

Polly had returned to Piper's room, finding the blonde sitting in a chair in front of the vanity, her head between her hands, she looked tired already and the wedding hadn't even begun. "I knew I shouldn't have invited her, I just thought it would be nice to have everyone there." She said, once hearing her best friend had returned.

Polly stood beside Piper, looking at her friend's bowed head and sighed, placing a hand on her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry about it Pipes, Alex is on Nicky duty for the moment until I can find Pete, I think he's with our parents now, so I'm going to go find him and he's gonna help drag her out by her hair if he has too, your day isn't going to be ruined because of a messy break up."

"That's the thing Pol, it wasn't even a break up, they were never dating, just sleeping together, but I know what they're going through, especially Lorna, she doesn't know who to pick, even though she says she has made up her mind. Christopher is safe, but Nicky is daring and will love her more than she will ever deserve." Piper said, looking up at her friend.

Polly nodded, not entirely understanding it, but trying to. She had never been in a relationship where you wanted to rip your loved one's head off and a second later, throw them on a flat surface and fuck the shit out of them. Pete and her were simple, just the way she wanted it to be. "I'll go get Pete."

XXX

_Alex and Piper sat on a blanket beneath the stars; they had finished their dinner over an hour ago, and now were just enjoying each other's company without really talking._

_The brunette was beginning to panic though; she could feel the ring box like lead in her leather jacket's pocket, as it burned a hole into her side. She still wasn't entirely sure how she was going to ask her. She wanted to make it perfect; she wanted to be able to say everything she wanted to say without losing her courage, or her shit. She knew that she was going to end up crying while asking, and even more so if Piper agreed to marry her. Who would've thought Alex was such a mush? If someone had told her a year ago that she would be head over heels in love with the woman beside her and now planning on spending the rest of her life with her, Alex would have laughed in your face and told you she needed another beer to have that conversation._

_But now, Alex was counting down the seconds as to when she was going to pop the question. She had waited long enough already, she had had the ring in her possession for almost a month now, and she couldn't wait any longer. She rolled over onto her side, facing the blonde who was also deep in thought, biting her lower lip as she debated something in her head._

_Alex was terrified._

_Piper bounced around the ideas in her head, toying with all of the ways she could propose to Alex, she was currently leaning towards one way, as she toyed with the box in her pocket. She was just going to have to do it._

_Piper looked over at Alex who had turned away from her, giving her just the right amount of time to pull the box out. "Al?"_

_Alex turned to face her, a small box in her hand as well. "Piper, I-wait, what is that?" she took notice to the equally small box in the blonde's hand._

_Piper stared wide-eyed at the taller woman's hand, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."_

_Alex's throat went dry. Piper was thinking the same thing she was? Piper was going to propose to her when she was planning to do the exact same thing?_

_"Al I, I can't believe this is happening right now." Piper said, breaking the sudden silence that had enveloped them._

_Alex burst out laughing then, of course, Piper had thought the same way she had, the blonde wanted Diane at their wedding just as much as she did._

_Piper stared, confused, at her girlfriend, why was she laughing? Was she laughing at her or the situation? "What's so funny?" she asked, growing impatient with Alex's lack of words towards her since seeing the ring box the blonde held._

_Alex clutched at her sides, feeling like her skin was going to split open at the deep belly laughs she was creating. "I'm sorry Pipes, it's just, well I was going to propose to you, but you were planning on doing the same thing!"_

_Piper smiled crookedly, fighting the urge to laugh as well, it was a silly coincidence._

_Alex suddenly realized that she had forgotten to ask the question she had been warring with herself on perfecting, but now, after what just happened, the whole thing was far from perfect._

_"Al, I know you want to ask, but since I am the one that isn't struggling to breathe right now, I'm going to ask first." Piper said, moving up onto her knees and facing the chuckling brunette._

_Alex's laughter faltered, before ending all together. She wasn't expecting this, laughter was her nervous reaction to all of this, otherwise she would be freaking out right now._

_Piper fumbled with the box in her hand, not yet opening it. "Alex, I met you a year ago this month, and I have never been happier with someone before. When I saw you in Art History that day, I couldn't look away, and I still haven't. You stole my heart the first time we talked, and at first I wanted it back, but now I realize that I can't have it, because I have your heart to take mine's place."_

_Alex could feel tears beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes, not yet spilling over onto her cheeks._

_Piper continued, smiling as she spoke, "You are the most beautiful, self-insured, first-rate jack ass I have ever met, and I love you for it. You keep me on my toes and up most nights with your crazy ideas and amazing love making. I never would have considered myself a very sexual person before you, and I know that I can't remember our first ever time together, and I can't say I regret it, because although it caused us to stop talking for a while, it made me work through my shit in the long run."_

_Alex listened to the proposal, tears now streaming down her face. She couldn't believe how lucky she was to be in this position right now with the love of her life._

_Piper smiled even bigger, preparing herself for what she was about to say, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've hit the jack pot. Being in love with you, there is no downside to it, there are only positives. With you I have it all, an amazing sex life where my toes actually curl during orgasm, and I get to have long heated discussions about Sylvia Plath and Homer, and the best thing that I've had come out of us being together, is that I can come home to a house that's empty, and not feel alone, you are always with me Alex, and at this point, I don't think I could get rid of you even if I tried, which in my case would be impossible, I love you too much to ever want to say goodbye."_

_They were both crying now, seeing each other in such a vulnerable state as this. Piper had seen Alex cry multiple times over her mother's situation, but she had never seen such love come out of one moment, it truly wasn't like the movies, it was better than that if you could imagine it._

_Piper shifted a little so she could get a better grip on the box. "Which leaves me to ask you the one question that I know I will never be able to recuperate from if you say no, which I'm pretty sure I know your answer is with what you have in your hand, but I'm going to ask anyways because I've agonized over this for far too fucking long."_

_Alex chuckled as she nodded, encouraging Piper to get on with the question before she herself dissolved into a puddle of tears and emotions._

_Piper moved up onto one knee, cracking the box open to reveal the ring as she spoke. "Will you, Alexandra Anne Vause, do the honor in marrying me?"_

_Alex nodded vigorously, wiping harshly at her tears with the back of her hand. "Yes, yes of course I'll marry you!"_

_Piper jumped up and down in excitement, pulling the ring out of the box and slipping it onto Alex's awaiting finger._

_Alex looked down at the ring, gasping, "Pipes, it's beautiful."_

_Piper grinned widely, wiping tears from her eyes. "It was my grandmother's; I had the gemstones changed to match your eyes since they never want to be just one color."_

_Alex burst into even more tears, pulling Piper into a bone crushing hug, "You are so in love with me, it's a miracle that I am to be so lucky."_

XXX

Pete entered the room to find Alex sitting on the floor, her head leaning back against the bathroom door. She still had yet to get Nicky out of the bathroom.

He made his way over to Alex, helping her up off of the floor and took her in, "You look amazing Alex." He complimented her, spinning his finger in a circle, silently asking her to turn for him.

She chuckled, turning for him to get the full effect of her appearance.

He nodded, grinning from ear to ear, "Piper better know how lucky she is."

Alex rolled her eyes, "I'm the lucky one, it's insane to think she still wants to marry me, especially considering what she's going to have to go through in the upcoming months."

Pete dismissed the topic, "Let's not think of that right now, it's your big day and some people need to realize that!" he said, adding emphasis to make sure Nicky heard him on the other side of the door.

XXX

_Alex kept staring at the ring on her finger when she realized that she had a proposal of her own to do. Bending down onto one knee as well, she cracked open the box to reveal the ring. "It's not much, but I figured that as long as it came from me, it didn't matter what it looked like."_

_Piper smiled down at the ring, "It's perfect."_

_Alex sighed audibly as relief washed over her. She cleared her throat before speaking, "Piper, when I saw you staring at me at the end of that class, my heart stopped. At the time I was in such a dark place and seeing you just standing there, you were the light at the end of my self-deprecating tunnel."_

_Piper smiled, tears dripping off of her chin and beginning to roll down her neck and stain her flannel._

_Alex smiled lightly at her, never would she have thought that Piper would look as beautiful as she did now with her eyes red from crying. "When we slept together and you didn't remember it, it broke my heart. I thought I had lost you, I had realized how much you had already meant to me, and I was scared of what I knew you could so easily become to me, so I ran, but everything after that, with my mom, and Jack, you have been my savior, and literally the only person keeping me from drinking myself into somebody else. You have saved me time after time and it's only been a year! Who knows what the next year will bring, let alone fifty years from now, but what I do know, is that I wouldn't want to spend those years with anyone else. So, Piper Elizabeth Chapman, will you marry me?"_

_Piper's face broke out into a huge smile; she couldn't remember ever being so happy before in her life. "Yes, yes I'll marry you!"_

_Alex grinned, slipping the ring onto Piper's left ring finger and pulled her into her body, tucking her face into her neck, and kissing the salty trails left behind by the tears away._

XXX

Polly felt like her head was going to explode, Piper was on the verge of tears, which wasn't a good thing, because she'll ruin her makeup before the ceremony, and Polly would have to find the time on top of her already frantic and busy schedule to touch it up. Not to mention the fact that Alex will know that the blonde had been crying and it would just cause another problem that Polly would have to solve on top of everything else.

"Where's Alex?" Lorna had asked, rushing to keep up with a pacing Polly.

Polly looked up from the floor, staring at the much shorter woman, a crease forming between her brows as she sized the woman up. She had met Lorna many times before obviously, she just hoped that the woman wasn't stupid enough to bring her fiancé with her. "She's with Pete and Nicky." She answered Morello, stopping at a standstill as she realized that she still had to make sure Diane and Carol hadn't killed each other yet. The two older women had been assigned to sit far away from the other, but Polly knew how the older Chapman woman could get, on top of that, she knew that if Diane and Carol started fighting, then Celeste wouldn't be far behind, finding a way to kick both of the women's asses, most likely Carol's, and Polly had enough on her hands to deal with at the moment.

She turned to Lorna, "Can you go find Diane for me and make sure she isn't anywhere near Carol?"

Lorna nodded, recalling the time she had met the older women not even an hour before hand. She scurried off, realizing the anxiousness in the taller woman's voice.

Polly sighed heavily, running a hand through her curled hair and made her way back down to Alex's room to see if they had made any progress in getting the red head out of the bathroom.

When she entered the dressing room, Pete was seconds away from knocking the doorknob off of the bathroom door with a mallet that he must've found in the barn's kitchen.

"What the hell is going on?" Polly asked, noticing that Alex was nowhere to be found. "And where is Alex?"

"Cold feet or some shit." Pete had said, not really taking notice to what he had said before bringing the mallet down onto the doorknob. His dress shirt had gotten untucked and his blazer was hung over a chair.

Polly nearly growled as she turned on her heel and left the room, rushing down to Piper's room. The door was locked. Polly banged on the door, "Piper Elizabeth Chapman, you better be the only one in there!"

XXX

_"So what are you thinking, lace on silk or just the lace?" the woman asked as she held up the two dresses._

_Alex stood in front of her, looking back and forth between the two, debating on which one she liked more. She had narrowed it down to the two dresses, and honestly she could care less. If she could have her way, meaning if Polly wasn't planning everything, Alex would just wear jeans and a t-shirt. She wasn't really one for dressing up, especially if it meant spending a shit ton of money on something she was never going to wear again, but it was for Piper, so Alex sucked it up and chose the lace on silk dress._

_"Oh good, you picked one." Polly said, coming up from behind them, Piper was still trying dresses on, she had informed them, which is what the blonde was doing half an hour ago._

_Alex left Polly with the dress lady and made her way over to the stall Piper was in. She wasn't allowed to see her, so she stayed on the one side of the door, knocking on it lightly, "Pipes?"_

_"I'm almost done baby, I just have to choose between three." Piper called back._

_"Well I could help if you'd let me." Alex pouted, crossing her arms over her chest._

_Piper rolled her eyes. She stood in her panties and bra, a hand on her chin as if she was a movie critic, trying to figure out which dress to go with. "You know you can't see the dress Al, it'll ruin the surprise."_

_"I hate surprises." Alex mumbled, which of course Piper heard._

_Piper shook her head, "Can you get Polly for me please?"_

XXX

Alex had left her dressing room; she was beginning to freak out. Everyone and their mother were outside waiting for the wedding to start, and they were already two minutes late. She made her way over to Piper's room, knocking on it lightly before going into the room. Only Piper could get her to calm down, she knew that if she saw the shorter woman, she would no longer be afraid.

Piper looked up from where she had her head tucked in her arm, looking up into the mirror and seeing the brunette come into the room and lock the door, wide-eyed, she gasped, "Alex, you're not supposed to be in here!"

Alex bit her lip, she knew that she was fucking up right now by seeing Piper in her dress beforehand, but she knew that if she hadn't gone in there, she would have talked herself out of going through with the wedding. Between Nicky acting like a child, and the fact that her mother and Carol could be fist fighting outside at that exact same moment put her on edge. "I'm sorry, it's just, I'm freaking out right now."

Piper's face softened, she was feeling the exact same way. "I know me too."

Alex looked up at her, "You are?"

Piper nodded, standing up from her chair and smiled, "Of course I am, I'm supposed to be marrying you right now, but instead our friends have their heads up their asses."

Alex nodded, looking over the blonde's appearance, her eyes glued to the dress, then her face, "Pipes, you look beautiful."

Piper smirked, "You don't look too bad yourself Al, you clean up nice."

Alex chuckled; just like that Piper had put all of her nerves to rest. She was no longer scared of marrying her, if anything she felt a new surge to get it over with. It took Nicky acting like a toddler, Pete literally beating down the door, a growling pregnant woman, and the possibility of quarreling mothers, to make Alex realize what she had in that moment was everything she wanted and more. All of the fuck ups, all of the things that weren't currently going their way, it was all a part of the story, their story. The one that they would one day tell their kids when they asked about their wedding day.

They stood there smiling at each other, neither one of them able to look away from the other, when they heard a banging at the door.

"Piper Elizabeth Chapman, you better be the only one in there!" Polly shouted from the hallway.

Piper continued to stare at Alex for a moment longer before laughing, moving over to the door to let her best friend in, she was going to be pissed.

Polly nearly fell into the room, her fist raised to pound on the door again when Piper opened it. She looked from Piper to Alex and clenched her jaw, "God dammit! You aren't supposed to see each other, its bad luck!"

Piper smiled, "Our lives are made up of bad luck."

Polly huffed, knowing that it was useless to argue about it now, "Pete got Nicky out of the bathroom."

Piper sighed, "Finally, is she okay?"

Polly shrugged, "She's going to have to be, she's Alex's maid of honor for Christ's sake!"

XXX

_"Do you think she'll come?" Piper asked as she looked up from Polly's wedding binder. They were sat in Mod's, tucked into their favored booth in the back corner._

_Polly looked at Piper over the brim of her mug, "Who, Carol? It's worth a try, she is your mother. Give her the benefit of the doubt; even if she hates Alex, she loves you."_

_Piper shrugged, "Only because she is supposed to, society would frown upon her if she didn't love her offspring." She said coldly._

_Polly sighed, setting down her cup on the old coffee-ringed table and looked at her best friend; her eyes squinted slightly as she took her in. Piper was freaking out, overreacting, and Polly was four months pregnant, they were a questionable duo at the moment. "Look, Pipes, if you want her there, invite her, if you don't, then don't. It's that simple."_

_Piper shook her head, "It's never that simple with my mother, she'll either say something horrible, or pick a fight with me or Alex or Diane or even Celeste, and trust me, no one wants them to have it out during mine and Alex's vows, once they start, you have to wait for one of them to finish it, and that could take hours."_

_Polly nodded, she had witnessed Celeste and Carol argue one Christmas, and she could gladly say she would like to avoid ever having to listen to one again. "It's up to you Piper, she's your mother, how badly do you want her there? Whether she accepts you and Alex or not, only you can make that decision."_

XXX

"You good now?" Alex asked Nicky when she spotted her standing in the hallway; Piper had headed out with Polly a few moments ago, telling Alex to meet her out there.

The red head shrugged, her eyes red from obvious crying. "It is what it is, I'm sorry for fucking up your wedding."

Alex smiled lightly, shoving Nicky's shoulder, "As long as you are by my side and give me shots when Piper isn't looking, we're good."

Nicky rolled her eyes, leading Alex out of the barn, "Come on Sasquatch, we have a wedding to get to."

XXX

Piper had spotted Carol the moment she left the safety net that was the barn. The older woman sat in the front row on the left side, staring down at her phone; her lips pursed in such a way that made Piper's stomach roil.

Polly held a hand to the small of Piper's back as she led her to the beginning of the aisle, handing her over to Bill who stood proud, grinning down at her daughter. "You ready?" Piper nodded, she was going to be escorted down first, followed by Alex.

Cal sat next to their mother, looking almost as if he was in pain while Neri rubbed his back, soothing him.

"Your mother's putting a lot of pressure on him to get married now and have kids." Bill clarified for Piper as he noticed where she was looking.

Piper's frown reappeared at that statement; her mother had given up on her clearly.

"Don't worry about her right now though honey, it's your big day." Bill consoled her, grabbing her arm and looping it with his own.

The music started as Polly walked down the aisle first with Pete, then Lorna by herself, before Piper made her way down it slowly, making sure she didn't trip on the train of her dress.

Piper finally reached the alter, letting go of her father's arm and turned, knowing that Alex wasn't far behind.

Nicky came down the aisle first with Jack, both of them smiling to reassure Piper that everything had sorted itself out for the time being.

Diane stood from her wheel chair, her legs wobbling slightly as she saw her daughter come into view, she was going to walk her down the aisle, even though Alex told her she was perfectly fine with Jack walking her down.

"You look beautiful." Diane said, grabbing onto Alex's arm for support. Alex looked down at her mother, worry etched across her face as she took in the older woman, who was no longer sitting in her wheel chair, her mother couldn't even walk to the bathroom, and she was planning on walking her down the fucking aisle!

Alex decided not to say anything though, it would be pointless. "Thanks mom." She breathed, turning to face the rows of filled seats, staring at everyone that her and Piper had ever known and could consider worthy of seeing them wed.

Diane walked Alex down the aisle slowly, pausing every few steps so she could catch her breath.

When they finally reached the alter, Diane handed her off to Piper, clasping the two's hands together and saying, "I know I'll never be able to see this work out, or to get to meet my grandkids, but just know that I'm not leaving this earth with any regrets. I know my daughter will always be safe with you Piper, don't let me down."

Piper nodded, "I'll try my best."

Diane nodded, moving back towards the front row where her wheel chair sat, "It's all you can do sweetheart."

Everyone grew quiet as the minister began to speak. It was a long introduction, with crap that never seemed relevant until you were living it yourself.

"Alex would you like to start with your vows?" The minister asked, turning to the brunette.

Alex could feel all eyes on her as she took a quick intake of breath, suddenly nervous. Her hands were still linked with Piper's, and she was sure that the blonde could feel how clammy her palms were. She licked her dry lips, nodding her head shallowly before turning to Piper, green mixing with blue as they looked at each other.

"Piper, I met you at the wrong time, which I guess is only appropriate for us. You've seen me at my worst, and hopefully at my best. You are my rock, and you've kept me level headed through all the shit that we've had to deal with so far. I know that when I come home every day that I'll be entertained with your stories about Polly doing and saying stupid things, and Pete hitting on Nicky time after time, even though he knows that he will most likely die during a meteor shower than get laid by her." Alex began.

People chuckled, mostly Nicky, Pete, and Cal.

Alex continued, she hadn't written anything, she was making it all up as she went. "Piper, I know that you could do so much better than me, but you chose me, and that's what matters. You are everything I could have ever expected in a woman, and you have stolen my heart. There was a time when we didn't speak, and those were the hardest weeks, I kept thinking that I had lost you, but now that I have you, don't expect me to ever let you go again. I love you Piper, and I hope that I can bring you joy, make you laugh, especially at yourself when you're overreacting, and to let you know you're loved every day. You will come first this time, I promise."

Once she finished her vows, Alex swiped at the tears that were beginning to fall down her cheeks and smiled as she watched Piper do the same.

The minister turned to Piper then, "Now Piper, it's your turn."

Piper nodded, wiping away a few stray tears before clearing her throat and speaking, "Alex, I never thought that I could be in love with someone as much I am with you. I don't think I realized how much I could give instead of receive. I had always worried that I would settle for something less than I deserved, but it turns out, I went above and beyond with you, now I have more than I deserve, but I'll take it, because you make me want to be more than I already I am. You make me wake up every day with a smile on my face and a rush to start my day with a good cup of coffee, I was drinking tar before I met you, I know that now."

Alex laughed through her tears, smiling wider than Piper had ever seen her.

Piper continued, she of course had written down her vows and then had rehearsed them, but with most things, Alex made her forget them. She was making things up as she went, and for some odd reason, it felt right. "I know for a fact that being with you for the rest of my life will only bring me adventures, and stories to tell years from now, because just spending one day with you on the couch is more exciting than spending that same day with somebody else. I love you Alex, more than you could ever possibly fathom, and I love myself for that."

Alex shook her head in amazement at the woman before her. Piper had gone above and beyond her own vows, and she was perfectly fine with that.

The minister nodded, "Now, Piper Elizabeth Chapman, will you take Alexandra Anne Vause to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for as long as you both shall live?"

Piper nodded, "I do."

"And do you, Alexandra Anne Vause, take Piper Elizabeth Chapman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold for as long as you both shall live?"

Alex smiled, "I do."

The minister smiled, "Then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you, wife and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

Alex grinned as Piper moved towards her, capturing her lips in one quick movement. Piper's arms wrapping around Alex's neck, as hers wrapped around the blonde's waist, pulling her as close to her as physically possible.

They could hear the applause as every person stood to their feet and clapped, smiling on at the newlywed couple as they basked in their newfound joy.

XXX

"Wow Vause, I know that I've said this before, but fuck, I didn't think you had it in you." Nicky said from her chair across the table.

Alex rolled her eyes, smirking. "It's Piper, she makes me do things I never could see myself doing."

Nicky raised a brow, grinning, "Kinky."

There was a moment of silence as they listened to the reception. It was later in the night, the sun had long since set and there twinkly lights galore, bathing the entire lawn in a mystic glow.

"Speaking of Chapman, where is she?" Nicky asked suddenly, ignoring the fact that it was now Vauseman; Piper would always be Chapman to her.

Alex shrugged, "I think she went to talk to Celeste."

Nicky nodded, "I love that woman."

Alex smiled, "Yeah, she's pretty great from what I've seen."

XXX

Piper was actually talking to her mother, out of sight from the party. Carol was grinding on her nerves, knowing that she had something to say, Piper had dragged her off to the side to talk.

"You really can't just be happy for me?" Piper asked, shocked at her mother's rudeness.

Carol scoffed, speaking louder than Piper would have liked. "Please, you know damn well why I'm not happy, you're a Chapman, Piper Elizabeth, and I can't believe you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with such trash!"

Piper rolled her eyes; she was sick and tired of the older woman's bullshit.

Diane hadn't been too far away though; she had been sitting with Celeste, talking about anything and everything when they heard Carol's voice cut through the music.

Diane saw red when she heard how Carol had described her daughter, wheeling her chair around quickly; she made her way over to the two women. "How fucking dare you talk about my daughter that way!"

Celeste had followed her, not wanting the sick woman to work herself up.

Piper's eyes widened at the outburst, knowing that there was yet another hurdle coming up on her wedding night. "Diane, I'm so sorry." She tried to say.

Diane held her hand up, silencing Piper as she glared up at Carol who stood with a shit eating grin plastered to her face.

"Why the fuck are you even here? Piper is your daughter, and she does not deserve what you are doing to her!" Celeste spoke up, standing in between Piper and Diane.

Carol looked between the two older women and scoffed, "You've got to be kidding me. Celeste you have no right to tell me how to treat my daughter! She is my daughter, not yours, and I will do and say whatever I want to her. I want her to realize the huge mistake she has just made. I don't want to have to pay for divorce fees in a few months because of this horrid decision!"

Piper gapped at her own mother, never had Carol sounded so cold, so cruel.

"And as for you, I can't even believe that my daughter wants anything to do with such white trash as yourself and your disgusting daughter, my Piper is not gay, she is just confused!" The older blonde continued.

Piper growled, she couldn't even believe the words that were coming out of Carol's mouth. "Are you fucking serious mother?!" she exclaimed. "This is all because I've married a woman?"

Carol turned to face her daughter, nodding, "Not only that, but someone of such poor taste and from such a colorful background." She said this with such disgust it made Diane stand up, fist held back ready to swing.

Instead Celeste slapped her, sending Carol's face completely to one side as the skin on skin contact rung out through the air, making Piper stare wide-eyed, and Diane grin from ear to ear.

"You have absolutely lost your goddamn mind! I have told my son time after time that he had married a witch! My grandbaby does not need this, especially on her fucking wedding day!" Celeste bellowed.

Alex had heard the arguing, making her way over to them, when she had witnessed the slap.

"Yes, finally something to get this party kicking!" Nicky shouted from beside the brunette.

Carol held her cheek where she had been smacked, her mouth hung open, she couldn't believe what had just happened, and before she knew it her hand went flying forward, knocking the older woman off kilter, and stumbling backwards.

Celeste chuckled, relishing in the fact that Carol was fighting back. She was brought her hand up, ready for another swing, when Bill came out of nowhere, grabbing onto her forearm and tugging her away from the other women.

Jack rolled Diane away, and Cal took his mother's shoulder, directing her away from the party tents.

"What the fuck just happened?" Alex asked, coming up to her wife.

Piper stared at the direction in which her mother had gone, frozen in place. She could've never imagined that playing out the way it had, she had no words for Alex.

The brunette took a hold of Piper's shoulders, turning the blonde to face her, "Are you okay?"

Piper nodded, pulling Alex into her and held her tightly. Alex had long since let her hair down from its clip, as Piper had slipped off her painful heels to feel the cold grass between her toes.

"I love you." Piper whispered into her ear, sending shivers down Alex's spine.

"I love you too." Alex responded, hugging the blonde close to her body. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew that now was not the time to ask.


	31. Popping Bubbles

"Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption

Winding in and winding out, the shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in, so mesmerizing and so hypnotizing

I am captivated, I am

Vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong, I am right

I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well

I am seeing in me now the things you swore, you saw yourself."

-'Vindicated' by Dashboard Confessional

XXX

Not long after the dispute had settled, and Cal put his mother into a cab to take her home, they all sat back down at the table, ready to give their speeches to the brides.

"Alex, when Piper first introduced me to you, I've got to admit, I was a bit skeptical, mostly because apparently I had inherited her taste in women." Cal said, his champagne glass raised in honor of the newly-wed couple.

Alex chuckled as she noticed the color bloom in her wife's cheeks, she loved thinking of Piper as her wife now, it was a whole new feeling for them.

Neri slapped Cal on the shoulder, telling him to sit his drunken ass down, and to let someone else make their speech.

Jack stood from his seat, pushing the chair back with his legs as he cleared his throat. He had left Tiffany at home with their daughter, mostly because Diane didn't like her, and also because Tiffany didn't believe in a baby sitter. "Alex, I know we haven't known each other for very long, but you are my sister, and I am learning to love you as a brother should, and what I can see here in front of me, is how happy you two are together."

Everyone clapped and shouted along to agree with what he was saying, most of them well on their way to trashed.

Jack waited for them to quiet before speaking again, "I just know that you guys will make it, they say most marriages begin to crumble after the first year, but you two are in it for the long run."

Everyone raised their glass in cheers before taking generous, drunken sips.

XXX

"Be careful, don't do anything I wouldn't do." Nicky said as she hugged Alex and Piper goodbye.

"Well there's not much you wouldn't do Nichols." Alex said as she pulled away from the red head's arms.

They were getting ready to head out on their honeymoon, which was taking place in a small cabin in Maine. Alex had booked it while Piper had gotten them packed.

"Are you sure you want to head out tonight? It's getting late, and you've both have been drinking." Lorna said from her chair, which was situated far away from Nicky's, but fuck all if Alex hadn't noticed Nicky switch chairs after a couple of drinks to be closer to her, still not talking, but closer.

Piper rolled her eyes at the small woman's question, Alex had had one glass of champagne, three hours ago, the blonde was pretty sure that they were safe to drive. Her on the other hand, if she fell over right now, she wasn't sure that anyone would be able to get her up without the use of a shovel.

Alex wrapped an arm around Piper's shoulders, holding her swaying body close to her side as she reassured Lorna that they were going to be fine, and that they'd call in the morning, and if she grew tired, that she would pull over.

Once everything was settled, and farewells were said, Piper and Alex climbed into their car and drove off.

XXX

Alex carried a drunken Piper over the threshold of the cabin, nearly smacking her head on the doorframe. "Pipes, you gotta help me out a little here." Alex said, afraid that Piper would lull her head back again and this time the brunette wouldn't be able to catch it in time.

Piper groaned, moving her head so it was now pressed into the crook of the taller woman's neck. "You really have a thing for cabins don't you?" The blonde slurred.

Alex could feel Piper's hot breath against her skin, and the brush of her lips, making her shiver briefly, before chuckling. "Cabins are bitchin', that's why."

Piper rolled her eyes before closing them. "Sorry Donna Pinciotti."

Alex groaned, "You promised you'd never call me that!"

Piper wrapped her arms tighter around the taller woman's neck and kissed her temple, "Don't act like her then."

Alex rolled her eyes, "Dill hole."

XXX

"Baby, wake up." Piper whispered. She held two coffee mugs in her hands.

Alex groaned, rolling away from the offending voice.

Piper rolled her eyes, getting an idea and smirking; she set down the two cups and climbed onto the bed, straddling the small of the taller woman's back.

Alex groaned once more, "Come on Pipes, you were blackout drunk last night, how are you even up right now?"

Piper leaned down, brushing Alex's hair off of her neck and began peppering kisses along the shell of her ear, moving down to nibble on her ear lobe.

No response.

The blonde trailed down to her neck, sucking on a weak spot in the dip of the brunette's right shoulder, while her hands crept up beneath the back of Alex's tank top, stroking the soft skin she found there.

Alex took a sharp intake of breath as Piper grinned into her skin. "You up yet?"

Alex shook her head no.

Piper sat up, shaking her head. "Wow, not even coffee or sex will get you up, huh?"

Alex smiled into her pillow, "I didn't say you had to stop."

Piper rolled her eyes once more, moving her hands down to trace the brunette's back dimples that she thought were absolutely adorable, willing herself not to nip at them, she said, "I'm not really one for necrophilia."

Alex chuckled, "But haven't you heard? It's all the rage right now!"

Piper shook her head, rolling off of Alex and standing up, "Goof."

Alex turned over, propping her head up on an elbow, "Where are you going? We weren't done yet."

The shorter woman smirked, "Oh honey, we hadn't even started."

XXX

"Game night!" Piper shouted as Alex flinched at the sudden break in silence.

The brunette raised a brow in question as she looked up from her book and onto the blonde who was sat on the floor. "Really? Do we suddenly become losers now that we're married?"

Piper rolled her eyes, "Says the one who slept all day, and has now been reading for the past two hours!"

Alex shrugged, "You wore me out." As if that was an excuse, Alex had spent just as much time pleasuring Piper as the blonde had her.

Piper chuckled before standing and moving over to the closet, where she remembered seeing a few board games. "Do you wanna play Monopoly or Yahtzee?"

Alex groaned, going back to her book, but not before saying, "Both are just so unsexy."

Piper raised a brow, turning back to look at her wife who had gotten herself sucked back into her novel. "And just what has the poor board games ever done to you?"

Alex looked up over the top edges of the page she was currently reading, "February 2004." Was all she said, saying it as if the event still haunted her to this day, ten years after the fact.

Piper shook her head, "What happened in February 2004?"

Alex smirked, marking her place in the book and setting it down onto the coffee table. "You don't want to know."

At Piper's raised brow Alex continued, "Let's just say I can get pretty competitive, maybe even a sore loser?"

Piper feigned shock, placing a hand over her chest, her mouth gaping, "You, Alex Vause, a sore loser, how could this be?"

Alex threw the pillow she was leaning back on, chucking it towards the blonde's head, which Piper ducked at the last second.

"You want to play or not Vauseman?" Piper asked, a grin plastered onto her face.

Alex smiled at the name, shrugging, "If you don't mind getting your ass kicked Vauseman, by all means, let's play."

Piper nodded, pulling out the monopoly board. "Why don't we make this interesting while we're at it?"

Alex raised a brow, "Losing isn't good enough for you? You want to have to do something for me too?"

Piper set the game down onto the floor and began setting up, "All talk and no bite."

The brunette raised a brow, sliding off of the couch, bringing her blanket with her, "You want me to bite?"

Piper gulped, feeling the heat begin to stir in the pit of her stomach. "Promises, promises. Let's get down to the rules. If I win, you have to give me a lap dance."

Alex's brows furrowed almost completely into her hairline, "I always knew you liked a good ol' dry hump."

Piper's face reddened as she cleared her now dry throat, becoming flustered. It made Piper ecstatic to know that even as her wife now, Alex would never cease to turn her on. "And if you win, well what do you want?"

Alex thought for a moment, grinning as she thought of something. "A full night's sleep without any interruptions."

XXX

"Ha suck it!" Piper shouted as she finished counting out her money. She had won. Oh my god, she had won Piper thought. Never in a million years would she have thought she would win against Alex, especially with how her wife had been bragging towards the beginning of the game.

Alex grimaced, she was really tired. She had no idea as to why, but she was hoping that Piper would let her sleep and give her the lap dance the following night.

XXX

Piper woke up to the sound of coughing. She opened one eye, and then the other, looking to the left side of the bed where Alex normally slept. The brunette however, wasn't there.

Alex had woken to a dry throat and a sweaty forehead. She had felt the urge to cough, so she quickly left the bedroom so as not to wake her wife. She knew the blonde was a light sleeper, but she didn't think the sound of coughing would wake her, granted, it sounded like she was hacking up a lung.

Piper poked her head out into the hallway, seeing the glow of the kitchen light reflecting off of the wall. "Baby, are you okay?" she asked when she found the taller woman standing over the sink, sipping a glass of water gingerly, before moving the mason jar away from her lips to cough once more, the water wasn't helping.

Piper took one look at Alex and knew something was wrong. Moving over to her, she stood on her tip toes to hold the back of her hand against the brunette's forehead, she was warm. "Al, I think you might have a fever."

Alex waved it off, she was fine. Even if it was a fever, that's all it was, a fever. She was going to give Piper that lap dance if it killed her.

XXX

"Alex, babe, you don't have to do this. You aren't feeling well." Piper tried to reason. She had curled up into the couch and started watching, Scream while she thought Alex had been sleeping in.

Turns out, the devilish woman had been planning her entrance. Her coughing had subsided around noon, and the fever had for the most part dissipated, but Piper still wasn't convinced.

Alex had claimed that it was just a freak fever, and that she was perfectly fine, great even, but the blond had a knack to worry.

"Are you getting tired of me already?" Alex asked. She was purposely putting emphasis on the gravely tone of her voice. Alex knew what it did to Piper.

Piper bit her lip, shaking her head rapidly from side to side. She could never get tired of Alex. Swallowing as she took her wife in, to say Piper was currently sitting in a puddle, would be an understatement.

"You like?" Alex asked as she moved farther into the room. She had bought a very revealing and skimpy lingerie set before the wedding, knowing that it would come in handy, her hair was curled, and her lips painted a deep red.

Piper opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She was stumped, shocked, and utterly amazed, not to mention extremely turned on. Alex had a way of turning the dial from zero to a hundred in five seconds flat.

The brunette grinned, even sick, she still had it.

XXX

Piper flopped back onto the damp sheets as Alex mirrored her actions. They were both a sight to see, both with sweaty strands of hair plastered to their foreheads, and their chests rising and falling, a visual attempt of their lungs trying to take this time to pull in as much air as they needed to work properly.

"Wow." Piper mumbled, whispered even, the moment was too perfect. Silence had fallen over them; the air permitted the heady scent of sex and sweat. It was too fragile somehow, in such a way that neither woman could explain it. Piper was afraid that if she spoke too loud, all of what was going on at the moment, this bubble they were in would pop and everything that had happened in the past year would slowly begin to suffocate them, more so Alex than herself, and Piper wasn't yet sure if she wanted to lose the woman she was in love with.

Piper knew that she wasn't going to lose Alex entirely, but when Diane dies, a part of Alex will inevitably die with her. Piper knew that, but she wasn't ready for it, she knew though that she never would be.

Alex nodded silently, opening and closing her mouth, gulping in air like a fish out of water. She too knew what the impending month was going to bring. She too knew that there was a possibility that, who she was, who Piper loved her as, would not make it. Alex was afraid that losing her mom would only cause her to become a shell of the person she was now. A shell of all of the promises she had made Piper, to Nicky. Alex knew, and was deathly afraid of the inevitable future because she didn't know what it would bring her except tragedy. She didn't know what would become of her, of Piper, of Nicky, and therefore Alex wasn't in control, and that's what scared her the most.

Piper ran a hand up and down Alex's arm soothingly, somehow knowing that she too was thinking of the unforeseeable future. After a while Piper sat up and slipped out from between the sheets. "I'm going to get a shower, want to join?" she asked, turning back to look at her wife over her shoulder.

Alex nodded, "I'll be there in a sec, just want to check my phone, call Nicky and see how everything is going."

Piper nodded, she knew that Alex most likely wouldn't be joining her.

XXX

Piper turned off the shower, wrapping a towel snug around her body, as she made her way back into the bedroom where she found Alex packing. It had only been three days, three perfect days of nothing but sweet nothings and hot somethings, and now it was all over. Falling apart right in front of her.

Alex was manic; she was now dressed in jeans and a baggy sweat shirt, her leather jacket over-top. She was moving around the room, making sure everything that was theirs was put back into their bags.

"Al, what's wrong? What did Nicky say?" Piper asked, although she had a feeling she already knew the answer. Alex wasn't crying, but she was silent, numb. Something had happened to Diane, and Piper feared that it was the last time something would happen to the older woman.

Alex zipped her suitcase closed, turning to take the bags out to the car. She hadn't heard Piper, she barely even saw her.

Piper moved out of the brunette's way, worry etched all over her face.

Alex was coughing again.

Piper let her leave the room; quickly drying her hair and pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a tee-shirt that Alex had left out for her.

When Alex came back, Piper tried again, "Alex, what's going on? Is it your mom? Is Diane okay?" She knew that she was asking too much, especially when she took notice to the taller woman's flinch when she had heard her voice.

"Nicky said my mom was taken into the ER last night, my phone was dead. I'm so stupid, so fucking selfish." Alex muttered to herself more than to the blonde, as she picked up the last two bags that held all of the clothes they had brought with them.

Piper followed Alex out to the car, locking the door as Alex waited for her, the car already running.

Piper took one last look at the cabin, their last shred of happiness. The only light that either one of them would be seeing for a really long time.

Piper decided then that their luck had finally ran out.

Fucking Cabins, man.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I wrote this in July 2014 and decided to bring it back to continue it's sequel since season three is starting in two days!
> 
> You can find me here: thisismyhalfroomcutie.tumblr.com


End file.
